leave the "A" word behind! please?????????
Disposable Hero
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Being, ME
Posts: 3,758
Perhaps you really can change the nature
of an alcoholic by changing one little word.
MAILING ADDRESS:
A.A. World Services, Inc.,
P.O. Box 459,
New York, NY 10163
(212) 870-3400
OUR LOCATION:
A.A. World Services, Inc., 11th Floor
475 Riverside Drive at West 120th St.
New York, NY 10115
(212) 870-3400
Just in case you would like to put that thought into action...
of an alcoholic by changing one little word.
MAILING ADDRESS:
A.A. World Services, Inc.,
P.O. Box 459,
New York, NY 10163
(212) 870-3400
OUR LOCATION:
A.A. World Services, Inc., 11th Floor
475 Riverside Drive at West 120th St.
New York, NY 10115
(212) 870-3400
Just in case you would like to put that thought into action...
Sober member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: New Haven,CT
Posts: 109
ok,check this out!
its my wifes b-day tuesday,i write on calendar "cake for heidi",which i never do and her controling mother does every year! I just go with the flow!
this year I figured I would do good and have it here,then wife tells me mom already called date! wtf?
i had written it before she mentioned her mom! im just lost! confused!
its my wifes b-day tuesday,i write on calendar "cake for heidi",which i never do and her controling mother does every year! I just go with the flow!
this year I figured I would do good and have it here,then wife tells me mom already called date! wtf?
i had written it before she mentioned her mom! im just lost! confused!
Not all better, getting better
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Beautiful Inner Banks of NC
Posts: 1,702
Just let it go. The "go with the flow" is probably the best way to continue. Your wife's b-day is supposed to be about her, not you. See if there is anything you can do to help your mother in law.
As far as the "alcoholic" label, try not to let semantics effect your recovery. Take care.
As far as the "alcoholic" label, try not to let semantics effect your recovery. Take care.
Today's Muse
Join Date: May 2007
Location: West end
Posts: 1,081
The word isn't depressing, it is the actions behind it. Focus on the solution, not on the meaning of the word. What really matters? Call it anything you want, but what every you want to call it, is killing you and that is depressing. You are wasting time and energy and it is time to focus on what really matters, your life and living. Patrick, I too am glad to see you are back and still alive. It is what it is. It is a fact that you can't drink, but you can do something about it. Stop drinking and change your life. What is it going to be? Are you going to focus on a word, or focus on a solution?
Sober member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: New Haven,CT
Posts: 109
man,she slammed the door on me! she stuck between me and her mom! and yes,i do,make it clear of the battle but got screwed out of many personal moments that should be shared between mom and dad and husband and wife,but,her mom is a very controling person,and doesnt even drink!
Today's Muse
Join Date: May 2007
Location: West end
Posts: 1,081
I'm glad you are back and maybe it would be helpful to spill it here. You have been gone for quite awhile, share with us.
Now, to be brutally honest, I hope you don't mind, I have to wonder if some of what may be going on, the birthday, is due to the past and your drinking. Maybe Mom was concerned that if she didn't take over, something would fall through. Being and alcoholic myself, I know the drill and I remember stories from your past. Don't mean to harp on you. Just trying to keep it real.
Now, to be brutally honest, I hope you don't mind, I have to wonder if some of what may be going on, the birthday, is due to the past and your drinking. Maybe Mom was concerned that if she didn't take over, something would fall through. Being and alcoholic myself, I know the drill and I remember stories from your past. Don't mean to harp on you. Just trying to keep it real.
Sober member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: New Haven,CT
Posts: 109
ok,real talk,her mom is a control freak from 21 years ago,when we married,yes we were young but thats no excuse to take over my family as her father did,that she cutoff from her life for 7 years! at her own choice as her husband goes along with whatever the heiness wants!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
Posts: 4,268
Actually, in the addiction field there is a continuum of use from no use, to use, to misuse,to abuse, to dependency or alcoholism. I don't find the word depressing, just the being. I find the term recovering or recovered uplifting. Semantics,whatever, but ain't sobriety a joy
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 36
I've never been a big fan of a term that lumps a very diverse group of people under one definition.
I think a lot of, if not most people would consider someone who consumes a 12-pack per night an alcoholic... but that's not the same kind of alcoholic as someone who drinks over a liter and a half of rum every day. And its not the same kind of alcoholic as someone who has 3 glasses of wine every night, either.
I think its OK to use the term as long as it is understood that one alcoholic is not like every other alcoholic.
I think a lot of, if not most people would consider someone who consumes a 12-pack per night an alcoholic... but that's not the same kind of alcoholic as someone who drinks over a liter and a half of rum every day. And its not the same kind of alcoholic as someone who has 3 glasses of wine every night, either.
I think its OK to use the term as long as it is understood that one alcoholic is not like every other alcoholic.
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Thanks for stopping in Patrick. It's nice to know you are still alive.
One of the lines in the Big Book of AA that really struck me hard is:
"Our troubles we think are basically of our own making."
In other words, I will continue to get frustrated and angry and upset when I try to change others, get them to do what I want, see my opinion, etc
I had to realize the only person I could fix was ME.
How's that coming for you Patrick? Are you finding a way to stay sober?
Don't be a stranger, because whether you believe it or not, WE DO CARE VERY MUCH.
Love and hugs,
One of the lines in the Big Book of AA that really struck me hard is:
"Our troubles we think are basically of our own making."
In other words, I will continue to get frustrated and angry and upset when I try to change others, get them to do what I want, see my opinion, etc
I had to realize the only person I could fix was ME.
How's that coming for you Patrick? Are you finding a way to stay sober?
Don't be a stranger, because whether you believe it or not, WE DO CARE VERY MUCH.
Love and hugs,
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
****{Homer}}}
Great to see ya, hon!
I get what you mean...
sorta like instead of yelling the 's' word when we see a snake
we could just start shouting "Loogout! poisonous Legless Reptile!'
Is that what you mean?
'If it walks like an amphibian, and croaks like an amphibian..."
hmmmm.
I don't know. It could catch on, though.
Great to see ya, hon!
I get what you mean...
sorta like instead of yelling the 's' word when we see a snake
we could just start shouting "Loogout! poisonous Legless Reptile!'
Is that what you mean?
'If it walks like an amphibian, and croaks like an amphibian..."
hmmmm.
I don't know. It could catch on, though.
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