"Emotionalism"
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"Emotionalism"
I've been sober since around late April, and immediately after giving up alcohol, I said 'Now, I'm going to get close to God". My reason was to be able to communicate with the Lord without having drink in my system. It was like "ok, I' m gonna be clean and sober, so now it's time". I started reading the Bible and going to church when I could, and asking for forgiveness. I found an AA 12 step book, and didn't realize that it was one of the steps. So, I'm ahead of the game....right? Now, for at least a month or more, I have been very "humble", and having emotional spells(yep, me....crying when alone). So, I am thinking that it's the Spirit in me..Last night, I am looking back through the 12x12 book, and see where some folks suffer from "emotionalism" and think it's the Holy Spirit!! I'm more confused now than ever......Could it be that? This whole thing has gotten very complicated for me. Have any of you had similar experiences? Now, I'm not planning on drinking again, ever. But when you think about it, is better to be a drinker with a functioning mind and have confidence and at least some degree of sanity, or is it better to be a sober "mess"? 
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: linwood, new jersey
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emotionalism
what you are experiencing now is totally normal. Without alcohol in your system you are finally starting to experience life without the filter of booze. You will have rollercoaster feelings and thoughts for a while,yes, but it will eventually even out. Just try to hold on to yourself during these rough times...the results you will get are so rewarding!!!!!! The work you are doing now will get you rewards beyond your wildest dreams. I realize all this sounds a little trite, and i wish i was more eloquent.....but reading your post touched me and made me remember my first year and all the feelings and emotions i had to navigate through. You are in for a bumpy flight but remember ther are great things on the other side!!!!!! Sincerely, Maryedward
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Originally Posted by maryedward 
what you are experiencing now is totally normal. Without alcohol in your system you are finally starting to experience life without the filter of booze. You will have rollercoaster feelings and thoughts for a while,yes, but it will eventually even out. Just try to hold on to yourself during these rough times...the results you will get are so rewarding!!!!!! The work you are doing now will get you rewards beyond your wildest dreams. I realize all this sounds a little trite, and i wish i was more eloquent.....but reading your post touched me and made me remember my first year and all the feelings and emotions i had to navigate through. You are in for a bumpy flight but remember ther are great things on the other side!!!!!! Sincerely, Maryedward
Thanks
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hicktown, PA
Posts: 1,479
Hey Water....IMO, maybe you are overcomplicating things just a bit. The first couple months of recovery are tough...there's emotional, physical and spiritual changes that are going on, and depending on how long you have been drinking alcoholically, you may have no memory of life without alcohol as a buffer. It stinks, but really, all you can do is let time pass, and keep working on recovery. AND, being a 'sober mess' for a few months sure as anything beats drinking...that functioning mind, sanity, etc. will soon slip away, if it isn't already an illusion.
As for the God/Holy Spirit question....why not ask Him? Truly, instead of trying to decide in your mind what is going on, make it simple. Sit still, sit quiet and ask the Lord where He wants you to be. Assuming you are a Christian, you already know where the Lord wants to be...in the center of your life, mind, heart and soul. So what if His Answer isn't clear right away? If you are crying, heck, it can be part of the plan in lots of ways...could it be the Holy Spirit? Sure. Could it be a sign from Him that your emotions are coming back after being numbed by alcohol? Sure. Could it be a natural cleansing of your mind and body after alcohol abuse? Sure.
Don't stress about it. Let the answer come in whatever time it takes. I grew up on a farm, and am a farmer now, as I believe you are....there's a lot to see of God in our world...sowing, growth, nuturing, harvesting, death, rebirth....if you are still farming, let yourself get into the rhythm of the Earth, of Creation.... a lot of answers flow from it.
This is getting pretty long and pretty religious for the "alcohol" board, so I'll close out by saying relax and feel free to pm me if you want to .
Jomey
As for the God/Holy Spirit question....why not ask Him? Truly, instead of trying to decide in your mind what is going on, make it simple. Sit still, sit quiet and ask the Lord where He wants you to be. Assuming you are a Christian, you already know where the Lord wants to be...in the center of your life, mind, heart and soul. So what if His Answer isn't clear right away? If you are crying, heck, it can be part of the plan in lots of ways...could it be the Holy Spirit? Sure. Could it be a sign from Him that your emotions are coming back after being numbed by alcohol? Sure. Could it be a natural cleansing of your mind and body after alcohol abuse? Sure.
Don't stress about it. Let the answer come in whatever time it takes. I grew up on a farm, and am a farmer now, as I believe you are....there's a lot to see of God in our world...sowing, growth, nuturing, harvesting, death, rebirth....if you are still farming, let yourself get into the rhythm of the Earth, of Creation.... a lot of answers flow from it.
This is getting pretty long and pretty religious for the "alcohol" board, so I'll close out by saying relax and feel free to pm me if you want to .
Jomey
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Virginia
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Originally Posted by Jomey
Hey Water....IMO, maybe you are overcomplicating things just a bit. The first couple months of recovery are tough...there's emotional, physical and spiritual changes that are going on, and depending on how long you have been drinking alcoholically, you may have no memory of life without alcohol as a buffer. It stinks, but really, all you can do is let time pass, and keep working on recovery. AND, being a 'sober mess' for a few months sure as anything beats drinking...that functioning mind, sanity, etc. will soon slip away, if it isn't already an illusion.
As for the God/Holy Spirit question....why not ask Him? Truly, instead of trying to decide in your mind what is going on, make it simple. Sit still, sit quiet and ask the Lord where He wants you to be. Assuming you are a Christian, you already know where the Lord wants to be...in the center of your life, mind, heart and soul. So what if His Answer isn't clear right away? If you are crying, heck, it can be part of the plan in lots of ways...could it be the Holy Spirit? Sure. Could it be a sign from Him that your emotions are coming back after being numbed by alcohol? Sure. Could it be a natural cleansing of your mind and body after alcohol abuse? Sure.
Don't stress about it. Let the answer come in whatever time it takes. I grew up on a farm, and am a farmer now, as I believe you are....there's a lot to see of God in our world...sowing, growth, nuturing, harvesting, death, rebirth....if you are still farming, let yourself get into the rhythm of the Earth, of Creation.... a lot of answers flow from it.
This is getting pretty long and pretty religious for the "alcohol" board, so I'll close out by saying relax and feel free to pm me if you want to .
Jomey
As for the God/Holy Spirit question....why not ask Him? Truly, instead of trying to decide in your mind what is going on, make it simple. Sit still, sit quiet and ask the Lord where He wants you to be. Assuming you are a Christian, you already know where the Lord wants to be...in the center of your life, mind, heart and soul. So what if His Answer isn't clear right away? If you are crying, heck, it can be part of the plan in lots of ways...could it be the Holy Spirit? Sure. Could it be a sign from Him that your emotions are coming back after being numbed by alcohol? Sure. Could it be a natural cleansing of your mind and body after alcohol abuse? Sure.
Don't stress about it. Let the answer come in whatever time it takes. I grew up on a farm, and am a farmer now, as I believe you are....there's a lot to see of God in our world...sowing, growth, nuturing, harvesting, death, rebirth....if you are still farming, let yourself get into the rhythm of the Earth, of Creation.... a lot of answers flow from it.
This is getting pretty long and pretty religious for the "alcohol" board, so I'll close out by saying relax and feel free to pm me if you want to .
Jomey
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hicktown, PA
Posts: 1,479
Hey Waterman, another thought just popped into my head for you...are you working a formal AA program with a sponsor? Just thought I would ask, because I read a lot of the AA literature before I ever went to a meeting and it can be overwhelming, even frighteningly intense, if you move too fast, think about it all at once, or try to complete the steps out of sequence...that was my personal experience anyway. Just something to consider ....sorry if this is redundant. Jomey
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Originally Posted by Jomey
Hey Waterman, another thought just popped into my head for you...are you working a formal AA program with a sponsor? Just thought I would ask, because I read a lot of the AA literature before I ever went to a meeting and it can be overwhelming, even frighteningly intense, if you move too fast, think about it all at once, or try to complete the steps out of sequence...that was my personal experience anyway. Just something to consider ....sorry if this is redundant. Jomey
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"is better to be a drinker with a functioning mind and have confidence and at least some degree of sanity, or is it better to be a sober "mess"?"
"I've been trying to do this on my own, using my Bible and the 12-step book. I'm afraid that meetings will interfere with my wife's wishes, my work schedule, and so-forth."
If doing it on your own leads you to ask a question like you posted...
... don't do it on your own.
Allow people to help you instead of trying to swim 50 miles to shore in rough waters. Accept rescue offers. Go to AA meetings, give it a chance.
Don't be afraid.
"I've been trying to do this on my own, using my Bible and the 12-step book. I'm afraid that meetings will interfere with my wife's wishes, my work schedule, and so-forth."
If doing it on your own leads you to ask a question like you posted...
... don't do it on your own.
Allow people to help you instead of trying to swim 50 miles to shore in rough waters. Accept rescue offers. Go to AA meetings, give it a chance.
Don't be afraid.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 187
Originally Posted by tommyk
"is better to be a drinker with a functioning mind and have confidence and at least some degree of sanity, or is it better to be a sober "mess"?"
"I've been trying to do this on my own, using my Bible and the 12-step book. I'm afraid that meetings will interfere with my wife's wishes, my work schedule, and so-forth."
If doing it on your own leads you to ask a question like you posted...
... don't do it on your own.
Allow people to help you instead of trying to swim 50 miles to shore in rough waters. Accept rescue offers. Go to AA meetings, give it a chance.
Don't be afraid.
"I've been trying to do this on my own, using my Bible and the 12-step book. I'm afraid that meetings will interfere with my wife's wishes, my work schedule, and so-forth."
If doing it on your own leads you to ask a question like you posted...
... don't do it on your own.
Allow people to help you instead of trying to swim 50 miles to shore in rough waters. Accept rescue offers. Go to AA meetings, give it a chance.
Don't be afraid.
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
Early recovery for me was an emotional roller coaster for a while......
those rushes of pain.. sorrow.. guilt and remorse rushing in with nothing to take the edge of them..
i believe that the holy father sent me feelings like that when i was drinking....i call them moments of clarity....but i couldnt stop......no human will could have stopped me...
sure he guided me....back to something id tried and tried and tried..AA.
i sat in that room and told them i can stop.....i just cant live stopped.
the holy father worked through someone at that meeting...
this guy said...i know how you feel.......this is what i did.
i wanted him to tell me why.. when i stopped drinking i felt worse over time.
he told me why........he showed me in the book...
finally an answer.....this guy knew how i felt sober and without a program of recovery.
that emotional stuff gets way better over time......and its ok to cry sometime right?
god protect you....and guide you ..like he did me.
thankyou for a lovely post.
those rushes of pain.. sorrow.. guilt and remorse rushing in with nothing to take the edge of them..
i believe that the holy father sent me feelings like that when i was drinking....i call them moments of clarity....but i couldnt stop......no human will could have stopped me...
sure he guided me....back to something id tried and tried and tried..AA.
i sat in that room and told them i can stop.....i just cant live stopped.
the holy father worked through someone at that meeting...
this guy said...i know how you feel.......this is what i did.
i wanted him to tell me why.. when i stopped drinking i felt worse over time.
he told me why........he showed me in the book...
finally an answer.....this guy knew how i felt sober and without a program of recovery.
that emotional stuff gets way better over time......and its ok to cry sometime right?
god protect you....and guide you ..like he did me.
thankyou for a lovely post.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 187
Originally Posted by trucker
Early recovery for me was an emotional roller coaster for a while......
those rushes of pain.. sorrow.. guilt and remorse rushing in with nothing to take the edge of them..
i believe that the holy father sent me feelings like that when i was drinking....i call them moments of clarity....but i couldnt stop......no human will could have stopped me...
sure he guided me....back to something id tried and tried and tried..AA.
i sat in that room and told them i can stop.....i just cant live stopped.
the holy father worked through someone at that meeting...
this guy said...i know how you feel.......this is what i did.
i wanted him to tell me why.. when i stopped drinking i felt worse over time.
he told me why........he showed me in the book...
finally an answer.....this guy knew how i felt sober and without a program of recovery.
that emotional stuff gets way better over time......and its ok to cry sometime right?
god protect you....and guide you ..like he did me.
thankyou for a lovely post.
those rushes of pain.. sorrow.. guilt and remorse rushing in with nothing to take the edge of them..
i believe that the holy father sent me feelings like that when i was drinking....i call them moments of clarity....but i couldnt stop......no human will could have stopped me...
sure he guided me....back to something id tried and tried and tried..AA.
i sat in that room and told them i can stop.....i just cant live stopped.
the holy father worked through someone at that meeting...
this guy said...i know how you feel.......this is what i did.
i wanted him to tell me why.. when i stopped drinking i felt worse over time.
he told me why........he showed me in the book...
finally an answer.....this guy knew how i felt sober and without a program of recovery.
that emotional stuff gets way better over time......and its ok to cry sometime right?
god protect you....and guide you ..like he did me.
thankyou for a lovely post.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
What you are going through is indeed normal, I barely left my house the first year of sobriety except to go to work and church occassionally and I did it on my own. I went to AA meetings for a couple of months and I read the BB several times and got a 12x12 book and I put in to action what I was reading on my own, it's a lot of work but worth it. I now read the real BB, the Bible on a daily basis which helps me to emphasize to myself why I'm on this planet and why I need and want to continue this new life I've made for myself.
You likely drowned your emotions before with alcohol and now that you are sober the emotions are raw, they won't always be. Try to see the joy in feeling these emotions, our emotions are what make us human.
You likely drowned your emotions before with alcohol and now that you are sober the emotions are raw, they won't always be. Try to see the joy in feeling these emotions, our emotions are what make us human.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,876
Originally Posted by Waterman
I need to purchase the "Big Book", as I don't have one. Thanks!
Alcoholic
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Calais Maine
Posts: 37
Waterman. You have received some really excellent replys. I've enjoyed reading them. I don't know how it is in your area; however, around here most meeting give out Bigbooks to anyone that doesn't have one for free. By following the Directions given in that book, I really did find a solution to my problems!
btw: "a drinker with a functioning mind and have confidence"; really, the next day also?
btw: "a drinker with a functioning mind and have confidence"; really, the next day also?
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 187
Originally Posted by jamdls
What you are going through is indeed normal, I barely left my house the first year of sobriety except to go to work and church occassionally and I did it on my own. I went to AA meetings for a couple of months and I read the BB several times and got a 12x12 book and I put in to action what I was reading on my own, it's a lot of work but worth it. I now read the real BB, the Bible on a daily basis which helps me to emphasize to myself why I'm on this planet and why I need and want to continue this new life I've made for myself.
You likely drowned your emotions before with alcohol and now that you are sober the emotions are raw, they won't always be. Try to see the joy in feeling these emotions, our emotions are what make us human.
You likely drowned your emotions before with alcohol and now that you are sober the emotions are raw, they won't always be. Try to see the joy in feeling these emotions, our emotions are what make us human.
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Posts: 187
Originally Posted by Zencat
Here's the Big Book online from Alcoholics Anonymous. You may need Adobe Reader 9.1 (its free) to read the "pdf " file.
Keep coming back!
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Calais, Maine
Posts: 25
If your experience is like mine you will be amazed at your understanding and spirituality after the bumpy ride. Enjoy the ups, wait out the downs. Having a close friend or sponsor in AA helps tremendously!
At times I thought I was going nuts. Reality was doing somersaults! Pink 7, Cloud 9, One with God, Emotionalism, words making no sense, depression, sadness, and then back to Pink 7 and Cloud 9. It does even out. Once through it you will look back and laugh, at least I do.
At times I thought I was going nuts. Reality was doing somersaults! Pink 7, Cloud 9, One with God, Emotionalism, words making no sense, depression, sadness, and then back to Pink 7 and Cloud 9. It does even out. Once through it you will look back and laugh, at least I do.
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