Jhana

Hi Don,

Thanks for your thoughts; I think what is meant by that comment, "all we have is today" is: "keep your mind where your a** is". We alcoholics have a talent for bemoaning yesterday and thinking that tomorrow will be impossibly difficult, whereas if we just do what we can today, amazing stuff happens.

Staying sober for those 13 years was both the easiest thing I did and the hardest. The easiest, because I removed that 1000 gorilla from my back making everything I had to do MUCH easier. But it was also the hardest thing because life is difficult and you have no way to check out. (Of course, thinking clearly, we know that to take a drink, while offering momentary respite, will cost us dearly, not only financially, mentally, physically, spiritually, but in the bank account of our self-esteem. At day 8, I am my happy, optimistic, energetic self, but I also can remember all too clearly the depths of despair into which I had sunk a few short days ago, and the self-hatred that ate up any self-esteem I still had.

Good to hear from you,
Gianna

wiebe

Great to hear you're on day 8 Gianna. Hang in there. Day 2 is going fine here. Don I read your last post and I really have to wonder if not drinking is is the absence of action and therefore easy. It seems to me that not fighting the stuff would be inaction and easy. I find that staying focused on how good it feels to be sober requires a lot more concentration than just allowing myself to walk to the store and falling into the familiar miserable cycle again. I honestly hope that it does get easier not to drink than to drink sometime, but right now it's taking a lot of effort and concentration.
Thanks for the posts
Wiebe

2stop

**{Weibe!!}} You're doing awesome!!!! Keep hanging in there, okay? It WILL get easier.....(((((((((((HUGS))))))))))

Jhana

Hi Weibe,

How are you doing? You kept me sober yesterday-office party with 6-7 bottles of wine. 2 of them (open) were left , and left and left in the kitchen. Where are those winos when you need them!!!###@@# Just goes to show you that it's only our kind who are obsessed with such things. Anyway, goodness was it tempting. The other person in our office I suspect of having this problem didn't touch 'em, although I noticed when I left last night the wine bottles were gone and he was still in his office... Of course, I don't think he went after them during working hours as coments have been made about his drinking.

I should say, I expect comments have been made about my drinking behind my back. It did not go unnoticed, but as I have been there 8 years, and people assume I drink normally, I think they were in a state of shock about the last 3 months (when I disappeared noon-afternoon many days). As I work in media, as long as things get done, no one pays too much attention. Stranger than that of course, is that no one noticed all those years that I didn't drink. Non-alcoholics are amazingly oblivious to all this...

Day 9 starts for me...

Gianna

wiebe

Hi Gianna, must be a thoughtfull day for you. I turned CNN off cause it was depressing. Super congradulations on passing up the wine, and on day 9. My ex son in law was here a while ago with a bag of beer and he cracked one open and then offered me one, and same here, no way. It's hard though. I told him not to bring any anymore. In my industry they also care more about results than running a proper business, to the extent that the places I still sometimes work at will go and get beer to keep the machines running. Only after the jobs can be delivered do they complain about the drinking, and of course if they need someone, I am always their last choice. Hope to change that.
The first week really is an emotional roller coaster. Even simple math comes out wrong. I posted awhile ago that I had 7 sober days out of the last 8 when actually today is nr. 6 out of the last 7 since I was 2 days behind you. Anyway today is day 3 again. We've been to the store many times and the temptation is always there. I keep thinking about how great it is to be sober and we make it past the beer. Barely. It gets easier each day.
I'm really amazed you could stand at a party with all your co-workers drinking and to top it all off resist a couple of bottles of wine that were left behind. If it were a few cases of beer they probably would have woke me up there the next morning, but I'm also working on that.
Thanks for the post,
Wiebe

Anna

Gianna, you're so right - the 'normals' are sometimes frustrating in their casualness about alcohol! You did amazingly well, unbelievable really. I'm very impressed.

Wiebe, you're very strong and determined and doing just great. Glad to see you told you're thinking about improving your situation at work. That's definitely a step in the right direction.

My thoughts are with you both,
Hugs and love,
Anna

maagda

Well Done, Well done *jumping up and down and clapping*

I love to hear the enthusiasm and the joy of the early days quit... just keep taking one day at a time! thats the way I'm looking at it, learning to walk before I go jogging round the block!

((((((((WEIBE)))))))))))

really proud mags

Jhana

Hello Everyone,

Just checking in to thank you all and say that it is the beginning of Day 10. It is very good being back!

Gianna

Chy

Hi guys and gals!

Just checking in to say hi, been so busy the last two days. Swamped with work and mom had surgery, she is fine, but had to play nurse maid last couple of days. Hope you all are doing well and still sober! *hugs*

wiebe

Hi Chy, glad to see you're back. Missed you. Gianna you must be starting day 12 today. If you are, great. Anna and Maagda, thanks. I did buy some beer last night but this morning it's back to the cola and junk food. The sober days keep getting easier. This morning I was thinking about the simple and wonderfully sweet pleasure of drinking my coffee with a single hand, and not shaking at all. Love it, and I want more of it. My ex son in law is sitting behind the other computer drinking a soft drink. He's also broken the cycle of daily drinking. I've had 6 sober days out of the last 8 and plan to keep improving on this.There isn't just one way to quit, and it makes me sad to see what happened on Brian's thread. Hope he comes back.
Thanks for posting
Wiebe

Anna

Good morning Wiebe,

I agree with you about Brian's thread. I hope he comes back too!

But, for you and your son-in-law, as well, terrific! You are enjoying the benefits of being sober. I'm so happy for you.

I look forward to your posts to see how you're doing. I'm always pulling for you.

Have a great weekend, Wiebe.

Hugs and love,
Anna

Don S

Hi, Wiebe,
Sober mornings are one of my favorite benefits of quitting. I just got up at sunrise, went out and moved some sprinklers in the gusty North wind, and took a quick walk around the property. You notice little details that would have been lost to the fog of the morning hangover before. My "indoor" dog and cats really appreciate it, since they get lots of walks. Summer heat is still on us here, but there's a change to fall in the air. New seasons are a good time for new beginnings.....

Next we'll work on the cola and junk food diet....:-) Actually, you've illustrated how a big part of the habit is just having gotten used to the constant sipping and the steady diet of carbohydrates--especially beer drinkers. Just as smokers have to find something to do with their hands when they quit, steady drinkers like you (and me, with the wine glass that was glued to my hand all evening) find that we "need" to have that drink in our hands. I shifted to cranberry juice because I figured it was kind of like wine; soda is probably closer to the beer, with the bubbles that your digestion has gotten used to.

Congratulations to your ex-son-in-law. I hope he realizes what he's accomplished! Once you've broken the daily pattern, you can take each day that you DO drink and look a little more closely at why....then it's a simpler step over to NO days drinking.

It wouldn't be surprising if you're having trouble getting over the 72 hour mark. That seems to be a crucial threshhold. I'm not sure why, but it was really when my body "clicked" and the effects of alcohol were really out of my system. Maybe the chemicals our body produces in response to alcohol are finally clearing out, or the dopamine receptors in the brain are screaming for a "fix." Whatever the case, I know my urges kicked in vigorously on the third evening, and others have mentioned the same phenomenon.

How about a whole week sober next, Wiebe? I think you've got the tools, the support, and the motivation.

Thanks for posting!
Don S

wiebe

Anna, You also have a great weekend.
Don, great post. You've often mentioned mornings, and I agree 100%. Sitting here early with my coffee feels GREAT! I savour those moments. The next step will be to no days drinking, and I was realyy starting to wonder about the 72 hour mark. It goes great for 3 days without it being a battle of will, just pleasant with only minor urges. Then the morning of the 4th day, bang, all I can think about is beer. And, at this point why fight it? In the last 8 days I drank the same as I used to in one day. Alcohol that is, the cola and chocolate milk are at about 6 liters a day and holding. Like you said about the pure habit of drinking something, if you have a glass of something in front of you it's easy to forget it's not alcohol on days 1 to 3. As for going for a week, everything so far has fallen into place nicely without a huge battle of will. I'm happy and surprised it could be done this way, and I'll keep going with the flow as long as it's going in the right direction.
Have a great weekend,
Wiebe

Chy

Good morning all! Just wanted to see how everyone is doing. Weibe I continue to be proud of all that your doing. You really are working hard at it. NOW QUIT GOING TO THE STORE, your yo-yoing and it's okay because I know your have to work up to it, but you've detoxed and I worry about you slipping back to the everyday drinking if you don't just quit, not matter how uncomfortale it gets. GRRRRR you! You ARE doing great though! Each week is a new accomplishment 6 days this time, I remember not to long ago it was difficult to get through one hour. So you keep up the good work, get your self psyced up to say that final good-bye to the brewskies and just do it. Your ready physically just got convince yourself it's okay mentally. *hugs my friend*

~~~waves ~~ Hi Gianna, Anna,Cowboy, Moot, Don, Mags! Another busy day will catch up later. Have a great weekend!

wiebe

Hi Chy, if your post were translated into Dutch, then you'd have exactly what my g f says. She and my daughter also GRRRRR at me. Understandable I guess.
You also have a great weekend,
Wiebe

Jhana

Hi Weibe, Chy, Anna, Don, Tammie and all my other friends,

Had a wonderful weekend (part of which was a vacation from the computer) but I am glad to check in and see all of you. Weibe, you continue to inspire me! More later, I just wanted to say hello as I start day...13!!!

Thanks all,
Gianna

Anna

Thanks for posting Gianna. I was wondering how you were doing today. So glad you had a good weekend.

Hugs and love,
Anna

Jhana

Thanks Anna for the encouragement, but lest anyone think that this alcoholic is doing fine, it has been a stressful day. One of my drinking buddies called to see where I had been, and of course suggested we meet for a drink. Pressure at work has been intense (due, naturally, to the "vacation" I took into drinking). So, I have not had a drink, but I am reporting that I have hit a rocky spot.

Words of wisdom welcome, and I promise to check in again before I go home and drink those three bottles of beer lurking in my refrigerator (I don't even like beer-they were left over from a dinner party). They seemed innocent enough this morning, but I was stronger then.

Thanks in advance,
Gianna

Don S

Hi, gianna,
Of course you can meet for a drink!--at Starbucks. Really, planning for how you'll deal with social pressure for drinking is very important. It's amazing how much anxiety we all have about "explaining" our sobriety to our friends and social acquaintances. Actually, they mostly don't care much after they get over their initial curiosity. And you don't need to give them the whole sordid history: just "no thanks, I'm not drinking now." It's the truth, and the truth is always easiest.

The beer lurking in your fridge needs an appointment with your sink drain. It's just a liquid--you can take control of it! Say goodbye as it flows away! Mock it, laugh at it, swear at it--but don't drink it! Of course, you could put some in bowls in the garden for unsuspecting slugs but the rest, in my house, would just go away somehow. And none of it should go down your throat!

"There will be no alcohol in my house or in my body" was a simple rule I made, recited, and have kept. It kind of boiled down my commitment to sobriety to the essential lifestyle change I chose to make. And it was a specific promise I made to my kids.

People sometimes give me a bottle of wine--I don't bother to inform everyone that I'm not drinking (most people don't care, and my grandmother always taught me to accept any gift graciously...). If I don't hand that off to someone else, I may use a little in a recipe. Then, as soon as the bottle is opened, the rest gets poured down the sink, or I add so much salt that it's undrinkable but can be used in cooking.

Remember, people who achieve abstinence have three characteristics in common:
--a commitment to sobriety;
--a change in lifestyle to enhance sobriety;
--they plan and practice for urges.

Almost every lapse involves one of these three areas!

Pouring the beer down the drain reinforces the commitment; meeting your friend for coffee in the morning instead of booze in the evening is a lifestyle change; and your post here shows that you recognize some of the situations and stresses that underlie your urges.

You ARE doing fine! Dealing with stress is one of the keys to facing your urges. And you're doing it without drinking for 13 DAYS! Don't forget to congratulate yourself.
Thanks for posting!
Don S

Chy

Hi everyone!

Gianna, keep up the good work you really are doing great. Yes, those days of meeting with the drinking crowd are in your past. I know I still can't go anywhere near alcohol not because I think I'll drink, because of those old memories about my drinking. I need to remain positive about my sobriety not remorseful about my drinking. You go!

Weibe,

How are you doing today? Still avoinding the beer case I hope.

Anna and Don hope your having an awesome day!