bigtizzle

We went to the river where chain beer drinking is the rule rather than the exception. We followed that up with a trip for Mexican food where a pitcher of margaritas just for me is par for the course. Then we stopped off at the grocery store and picked up a bottle of Jameson and a 30-pack of Bud to really get the night moving.

The exciting part is that through it all, even with my friends asking me why I'm not drinking, I stayed dry as a bone. Day 5 in the books and it wasn't without its temptation.

As an aside, I've decided to pursue the following strategy when dealing with inquisitive acquaintances about my abstinence from alcohol: "I'm not drinking today." Not only is it true, since one day at a time is my new mantra, but it also doesn't leave them with the impression that I'm now a "sober person" for life and somehow different. Any thoughts on this approach?

CarolD

I'm glad you continued on your sober journey

Well....that plan did not work for me ....because being around
alcohol and drinking friends proved disasterous for me
in early sobriety. Maybe not the first time but I
simply did return to drinking rather quickly.


All my friends were excessive drinkers and I found new
friends in AA who shared my new sober lifestyle
and goals. I told all my old friends what I was
doing.....most drifted away.

Of course, your situation may not have the same results.
I
My recovery from alcoholism required life style changes

Good to see you here with us again...

littlebluedog

This is just me, but I would question friendships with people I had to hide my sobriety from.

Congrats on 5 days!

chip

Hi Bigtizzle,
Welcome to the forum, and congrats on your sober time.

Everytime any of us can overcome a temptation, it's a reason to rejoice. The scary thing is that temptations come up several times a day. Alcohol is a big part of society, and we are bombarded by it.

How do others overcome temptation long term? Most people who maintain sobriety over the long haul minimize temptation and make major changes in their lives.

If your friends drink, and drink alot, you will be different as the "sober person" if you continue with recovery. I found that I started to feel uncomfortable and "stick out". I stopped hanging out with people who drank, and I found new friends. Eventually, if recovery is important, you might find that you drift away from circles of friends who drink alot.

How do others overcome alcoholism and stay sober? Most will say that they put sobriety/recovery #1 in their lives.

By God's grace, I havn't taken a drink in 3.5 years. At times it's been hard, awkward, and very difficult. In every situation, especially in the face of temptation, I've had to put my sobreity as my #1 priority.

I like your "I'm not drinking today". Day by day, some of us are able to stay sober. I look at it like a 24 hour plan. Each morning I re-affirm my desire to stay sober, and each night I thank my God that I stayed sober.

In situations where others are drinking, I've learned to avoid them. I learned to make sure I have an "escape plan". I make sure I have my own transportation and accomodations. I've even lied to get out of tempting situations. With sobriety as my #1priority, I've managed to amass a tool kit full of tools to get out of problem situations.

My personal rule about being in social situations where others are drinking is to limit it to only situations where I have legitamate business being there. I stay as long as I need to get the business done, and get outta there.

Congrats on your desire to remain sober. Keep up the good work.
chip

tommyk

"I'm not drinking today."

I think it is a great idea.

Taking5

My experience mirrors Chip's and Carol's. All of my friends were drinkers because that is what I did - drink. When I stopped I did catch some flack from people for not drinking. Off all of that crowd, there are only a few people who I still associate with. I learned who my real friends were and, for the mos part, have changed my playground and playmates.

I could not agree more with littlebluedog's sentiments above.

coffeenut

Welcome to SR!

I do agree with what others have said.....in early sobriety, being around drinking is tough. Stay healthy.

keithj

Your strategy for what to tell your friends does not interest me on a recovery website. Your strategy for recovery does. I would just refer you to the number of posts placed in the last couple of days from people who have failed to stay sober doing exactly what you are doing. I would point you to my own experience of failing to stay sober doing exactly what you are doing.

Are you like us or different? Add up your experience to that of others and decide for yourself.

bugsworth

Welcome big! Navigating thru early sobriety can be tough...so big congrats on not drinking! Personally I had to stay away from alcohol early on and I was pretty upfront with my friends. Sobriety is a personal journey, no two of us do it the exact same way...find what works for you and work it!

Boleo

"Stay away from wet places and wet faces"

is just a Cliché and normally I hate Cliché's but for those who are early in sobriety it seems to be the rule rather than the exception.

After working the steps this Cliché losses its teeth:

"Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. People have said we must not go where liquor is served; we
must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends must hide their bottles if we go to their houses; we mustn't think or be reminded about alcohol at all. Our experience shows that this is not necessarily so." (pages 100-101)

- All Big Book quotes from the 1st Edition -

baggervance

the first time I got sober I went to a bar with old friends with less than 30 days. I sought out dangerous situations just to test myself. I call it twisting the dragons tail and I got away with it for a few years but he eventually turned around and burnt me real nice. Dont gamble with this stuff you keep playing it'll get ya.