So I think Im ready, advise.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Fenway Park
Posts: 119
So I think Im ready, advise.
So first a little background on me. I began drinking when I was 16, at that time it was normal, and not out of control. Now I am 22. I have been drinking heavily for the past 10 months. At first it was 3 or 4 days a week. But now it is everyday. I work over night 12am-8am, and my routine for a while was to goto the store and pick up a couple of 40's. That and some ciggarretts would get me real toasty. And then I would fall asleep around noon, wake up around 10. Shower, eat, dress and then on to work. Next day, same routine. I've been in it for a while now. Then only thing that is different is that I have recently switched over to Vodka from beer. What I pay for lasts longer and makes this addiction easier to hide, as there aren't beer cases and bottles everywhere anymore. And my mother actually thinks im making progress. But in reality I have gotten worse. I haven't approached anyone about my problem yet. So I am here. The other day I wasn't able to drink until 11am, and at the time my last drink had been roughly 18-20 hours ago. Like I said, I usually start by 815am. Well I started getting spacey and confused. Like when you walk into a room to do something and you completely forget what you were doing. Or just staring off into space.
I have been debating contacting my GP, for about a month now. But I am embarresed seeing as my doctor is a long time friend of the family, and I know all the assistants in the office. When they ask why you want an appointment, can you say its private? I just feel like they are going to say no, and then Im going to be on the spot, and I dont want to lie. And on to the next problem, I've been waiting until my vacation from work comes. Cause I have no idea what course of action my doctor is going to recommend.
Thats in about 8 days. I tried to home detox, but then once I was drunk I didnt care about getting sober. And so another day of alcohol abuse continues and then overlaps into the next day.
I don't know what to do. I cant stop on my own. My will is very weak right now. I am deathly afraid of withdrawl. I had moderate to severe (at times) anxiety and depression in my past, which I overcame without the use of medication of alcohol. And I am very worried that it will all come crashing down on me again. That was a very dark time in my life that I just cannot stand going through again.
I need advice.
Thank You
I have been debating contacting my GP, for about a month now. But I am embarresed seeing as my doctor is a long time friend of the family, and I know all the assistants in the office. When they ask why you want an appointment, can you say its private? I just feel like they are going to say no, and then Im going to be on the spot, and I dont want to lie. And on to the next problem, I've been waiting until my vacation from work comes. Cause I have no idea what course of action my doctor is going to recommend.
Thats in about 8 days. I tried to home detox, but then once I was drunk I didnt care about getting sober. And so another day of alcohol abuse continues and then overlaps into the next day.
I don't know what to do. I cant stop on my own. My will is very weak right now. I am deathly afraid of withdrawl. I had moderate to severe (at times) anxiety and depression in my past, which I overcame without the use of medication of alcohol. And I am very worried that it will all come crashing down on me again. That was a very dark time in my life that I just cannot stand going through again.
I need advice.
Thank You
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Wellcome back to SR...
It's good to see you here and that you are making plans.
About your Doctor...why not say you have been feeling
run down and want a professional opinion?
I do think it's important to be honest with him
so blood wwork is done. to best plan your sobriety.
You could see a different doctor but that seems drastic
and not in your best interest.
Because your doctor already knows you that is a plus.
IMO
Keep posting....Yes, you too can stop drinking....
It's good to see you here and that you are making plans.
About your Doctor...why not say you have been feeling
run down and want a professional opinion?
I do think it's important to be honest with him
so blood wwork is done. to best plan your sobriety.
You could see a different doctor but that seems drastic
and not in your best interest.
Because your doctor already knows you that is a plus.
IMO
Keep posting....Yes, you too can stop drinking....
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Saint Louis, MO
Posts: 285
Welcome, like Carol said, use a euphomism with your Doctor. And if it is that uncomforable to see the family doctor, make an appointment with a new Dr. It is important that you see somebody--alcohol withdrawal can be very serious.
It sounds like you are right on the money when you say you can't stop on your own. I know I couldn't. Check around at the resources on here for help but the real recovery starts with footwork in real-life. AA (or some viable alternative) is necessary for most of us. Congratulations on coming to terms with this thing.
It sounds like you are right on the money when you say you can't stop on your own. I know I couldn't. Check around at the resources on here for help but the real recovery starts with footwork in real-life. AA (or some viable alternative) is necessary for most of us. Congratulations on coming to terms with this thing.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 17
savexourxship it's like we've lived the same life. I remember the switching from beer to hard liquor routine. less mess to clean up for sure and easier to hide. but still i drank whatever alcohol I felt like at the time anyway.
I too worked and still work the night shift at a store. usually 5-1am. by 1:40 I would be completely loaded, pass out, wake up, work and then do it again. did this for 3-4 years now. For me I could never have enough.
I'm 26, it's taken a real toll on my health. I will be going to see a doctor soon. I would suggest you do the same. I would not wish the atrocities I've done and felt on my body on anyone else. Guessing about your health is one thing. Knowing for sure and what you need to do is golden.
I'm a month sober and my body feels much better but there is still work to be done. When you look back I hope you see that in the end the alcohol will not lead to anywhere good.
I too worked and still work the night shift at a store. usually 5-1am. by 1:40 I would be completely loaded, pass out, wake up, work and then do it again. did this for 3-4 years now. For me I could never have enough.
I'm 26, it's taken a real toll on my health. I will be going to see a doctor soon. I would suggest you do the same. I would not wish the atrocities I've done and felt on my body on anyone else. Guessing about your health is one thing. Knowing for sure and what you need to do is golden.
I'm a month sober and my body feels much better but there is still work to be done. When you look back I hope you see that in the end the alcohol will not lead to anywhere good.
it's a movie, you're the star
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 355
Save!
Welcome to SR and congrats on posting here for advice! That is soooo awesome!
I definitely suggest finding an AA meeting list and getting to a meeting a.s.a.p. - you'll find face to face like minded people who can at least help you feel like there is hope and that all will be okay without alcohol.
Keep checking in on here as it's always inspiring to hear from newcomers and watch them grow in sobriety!
hugs & support,
Rach
Welcome to SR and congrats on posting here for advice! That is soooo awesome!
I definitely suggest finding an AA meeting list and getting to a meeting a.s.a.p. - you'll find face to face like minded people who can at least help you feel like there is hope and that all will be okay without alcohol.
Keep checking in on here as it's always inspiring to hear from newcomers and watch them grow in sobriety!
hugs & support,
Rach
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 271
Gosh, when I saw the subject line, I avoided the thread. This is a *really* hard thing we do. No one can give you reliable advice, and it's not really our job anyway. We're trying to stay sober too.
There are an array of option available, none of them are "easy." Explore, and see the diversity of what is offered. Decide what is right for you. I promise you, though - whatever you decide to do, you do all the work, the onus is on you. I didn't make the rule. It comes with the territory of addiction, a land I never wanted to visit.
Good Luck!
There are an array of option available, none of them are "easy." Explore, and see the diversity of what is offered. Decide what is right for you. I promise you, though - whatever you decide to do, you do all the work, the onus is on you. I didn't make the rule. It comes with the territory of addiction, a land I never wanted to visit.
Good Luck!
problem with authority
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 870
You know, I hadn't really thought about it, but my entire journey into recovery began with getting honest with people...with my doctor, my boss, my friends, my family. It did not happen all at once.
A year before I went into rehab, I told a friend whom I knew was in A.A. that I was probably alcoholic. He seemed to know all about me (kept using words like "unmanageable", "powerless", "progressive", "isolating") and he suggested that I come with him to an A.A. meeting. I told him No Thank You, that I was probably a light case, and besides I knew about all that cult-y God stuff and it wasn't for me.
Six months later, I told my doctor that I was very likely an alcoholic and that I was concerned for my health. He ran a complete physical and told me that although my liver was fine, I was showing signs of elevated cholesterol and high blood pressure. (I was 35 at the time.) He asked how much I drank, and when I told him, he said it was shocking that my liver wasn't damaged. He suggested A.A. and looking into outpatient treatment. (I did none of those things, but tried many times to quit on my own, "for health reasons".)
Six months later I woke up in jail from having been drunk in public and attempting to assault a police officer in a blackout. My shoulder was dislocated, my contact lenses were swimming in pepper spray, my hands were cuffed behind my back, and I had a welt from where the stun gun was used. The police report described all the lovely, racist comments I made while being subdued, arrested, and incarcerated.
When incarceration caused me to miss a few days at work, I was on the verge of being fired. Having experimented a few times with honesty about my drinking, I said to my boss, "I need help. I need to stop drinking." His response was, "I'm so relieved."
And it was at that moment that something else took over. I was pretty beaten down at that point and had no denial or fight left in me. They said 28-day program, I did that. They said outpatient program and A.A. afterward, I did that. (Though I curtailed outpatient because I wasn't getting much from listening to crackheads talk about why they beat their wives/girlfriends.) They said 90 meetings in 90 days, get a sponsor, and work the steps. I did all of those things. They said get a coffee commitment, chair a meeting, work with newcomers. I did all that.
I guess it worked.
A year before I went into rehab, I told a friend whom I knew was in A.A. that I was probably alcoholic. He seemed to know all about me (kept using words like "unmanageable", "powerless", "progressive", "isolating") and he suggested that I come with him to an A.A. meeting. I told him No Thank You, that I was probably a light case, and besides I knew about all that cult-y God stuff and it wasn't for me.
Six months later, I told my doctor that I was very likely an alcoholic and that I was concerned for my health. He ran a complete physical and told me that although my liver was fine, I was showing signs of elevated cholesterol and high blood pressure. (I was 35 at the time.) He asked how much I drank, and when I told him, he said it was shocking that my liver wasn't damaged. He suggested A.A. and looking into outpatient treatment. (I did none of those things, but tried many times to quit on my own, "for health reasons".)
Six months later I woke up in jail from having been drunk in public and attempting to assault a police officer in a blackout. My shoulder was dislocated, my contact lenses were swimming in pepper spray, my hands were cuffed behind my back, and I had a welt from where the stun gun was used. The police report described all the lovely, racist comments I made while being subdued, arrested, and incarcerated.
When incarceration caused me to miss a few days at work, I was on the verge of being fired. Having experimented a few times with honesty about my drinking, I said to my boss, "I need help. I need to stop drinking." His response was, "I'm so relieved."
And it was at that moment that something else took over. I was pretty beaten down at that point and had no denial or fight left in me. They said 28-day program, I did that. They said outpatient program and A.A. afterward, I did that. (Though I curtailed outpatient because I wasn't getting much from listening to crackheads talk about why they beat their wives/girlfriends.) They said 90 meetings in 90 days, get a sponsor, and work the steps. I did all of those things. They said get a coffee commitment, chair a meeting, work with newcomers. I did all that.
I guess it worked.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Can
Posts: 79
Hi savexourxship,
A few random notes/thoughts from my experience and perspective.
My family doctor is a good friend of my father. When I spoke to him about my drinking, I asked him to keep it confidential and he assured me that of course he would and that confidentiality went without saying.
Also, I didn't realize how many of us alcoholics there are out there until I started to address my own problem. To a doctor, particularly a seasoned one, this is nothing unusual. So DON'T be embarrassed.
In any event, good for you for addressing this in your early 20's. I waited until my 40's to get help. Probably my greatest regret in life although I'm grateful to be sober now.
A few random notes/thoughts from my experience and perspective.
My family doctor is a good friend of my father. When I spoke to him about my drinking, I asked him to keep it confidential and he assured me that of course he would and that confidentiality went without saying.
Also, I didn't realize how many of us alcoholics there are out there until I started to address my own problem. To a doctor, particularly a seasoned one, this is nothing unusual. So DON'T be embarrassed.
In any event, good for you for addressing this in your early 20's. I waited until my 40's to get help. Probably my greatest regret in life although I'm grateful to be sober now.
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