LosingmyMisery

I think if you stick around long enough you will find that individuals have their own style and personality in delivering the message. I'm not much for puppies and rainbows, period. Never have been, never will be. I have found that I have to find balance in what I say and how I say it, find a happy medium. My experience has been, those new in recovery want the softer, easier message. Sometimes, if you don't sugar coat, anger and unflattering names and accusations can fly. That has been my experience. I understand what you are saying, absolutely. For myself, I needed to hear the truth. The truth hurts and that pain is what got me motivated and moving toward sobriety. I'm glad you came back.

Katie09

I hear you. At best I use or with the occasional huggy thrown in. I agree this is serious business - this business of recovery. It's very hard and maybe the puppies and rainbows seem too perky when in a lot of pain.
What I do is to steer clear of certain areas where that is the case and spend time in threads that are meatier, if you will. Unfortunately, some of those meatier threads can be controversial, but the world is made up of differing points of view so it just mirrors life.

Anyway, good luck with your detox. That in and of itself is enough to REALLY make it hard to take puppies and rainbows, although I do love puppies!

Seekingsobriety

Posted by Dee "Living without booze is a great choice - I'm not richer, smarter or prettier"

Poor Dee...............unlike him, I have grown KICKASS smarter (don't slur anymore or repeat things) richer (not spending $350/month on booze any more) and as far as good looking?? Hell, I was always good looking, but you should see me now!!!!!




Seriously.this is a great place. Give it a week and you'll be "hooked" LOL

Seeking - sober 24 days.

yeahgr8

Well done for trying to get sober, it really is worth it...

now **** off to an AA meeting and get on doing some work you lazy *******!

There you go best of both worlds;-)

nolaspiral

100% THIS...need it sans 12

ufe

I think the "puppies & rainbows" stems from the actual fact that everyone has been through the true grit, and found that the person that alcohol turns you into isn't the person they were before it. Bit of a convoluted sentence, but the contrast between living for alcohol & living for life is so stark, and positive that the rainbows become a much nicer way to express yourself. I was astounded for instance at how I began to instantly see the good in people/things/situations rather than being a cranky boring cynic.

nolaspiral

Damnit...this is not about smilies.

tyler

If you need some old school a$$ kicking, go over to the AA forum and post there. I can promise you a whole host of folks will step up and call you on your $hit, and not feel the least bit bad about it. That's not to be down on the AA forum in any way, many people, and it seems like you may be one of them, can't have it sugar coated.

Other's, like myself, get offended, bothered and put off by that approach. That is why I post here instead of there. Hope you find what you need. Take care.

suki44883

Welcome to SR!

CarolD

All SR members are expected to follow our
SR Policy Rules and Regs they agreed to
when they joined.

This is true for all Forums...Chat...Social Groups
and Blogs. We are a moderated site and
respect of others is mandatory. That does include
any recovery methods used by any member.

Don't remember what you agreed to?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ting-tips.html

Everybody chill please....Thanks!

ufe

I was pretty sure I understood your general idea, you obviously didn't get mine....

That's cool, I hope you get whatever it is you're looking for.

nolaspiral

I got it. I hate the word, "irony."

/not the jerk you think I am

IO Storm

Hi nolaspiral..

The best post by far I have seen here was by trucker. My sentiments exactly.

Welcome to SR!!

nolaspiral

'Thanking' me is my point.

nolaspiral

Live and die with pooch. Just referring to the hug you demonstrated.

keithj

Hmmm, kind of interesting. I'm probably one of the non fluffy, "congratulations, way to go" kind of folks around this forum. Kind of like I am out there in the real world. It's a funny contrast, because I'm usually grinning like a fool at meetings or when working with another alcoholic, or in general throughout the day.

Why don't I like those puppies and rainbows? Because they don't work.

It's got nothing to do with how positive a person I am or how happy or content I am. If a group of cheerleaders were sufficient to keep me sober and sane, I would have recovered years before I did. Everybody in my life wanted me to stop drinking. So, there is nothing wrong with being supportive. But how is another suffering alcoholic going to make use of compliments and smiley faces?

I needed a solution to alcoholism, a solution for life. Having people smile at me and say 'good job' when I white knuckled a couple months without drinking proved insufficient to recover. Instead, I required someone to tell me the truth. Actually, I required discovering the truth of my own experience with another's help.

It comes down to frothy emotional appeal. It just doesn't work to help the real alcoholic.

firestorm090

If you like the tough side of the street, one thing to consider is stopping by a detox unit at a local rehab or hospital. I did just that and spoke with a counselor about possibly being admitted in for detox. After the interview, I was outside the unit when a guy who was there went into a siezure, fell off his chair and smacked his head into the concrete. He was bleeding profusely and I must admit it scared the hell out of me. Did I stop drinking, no, but I still recall the incident and know that it could be me if I choose to continue the insanity of drinking, it's just a matter of time. A trip to the darker side of alcoholism really leaves you with a bitter taste in your mouth.

joedris

I'm almost tempted to post a bunch of cute smiley faces here. But I won't. I tried to find the AA forum where we could tell it like it is, but I couldn't find it. Maybe they were referring to the 12 step forum.

If you want to have it handed to you as it is, here goes. You're an alcoholic. You have a disease (some may disagree here) that is chronic, progressive,
primary, and fatal. If you don't stop this insanity you're going to end up in an asylum, in jail, or dead. Alcoholism will kill you.

Life's about choices. You can choose to drink or choose to stop drinking. Drinking is easy. Stopping isn't, but it can be done. You just have to want to not drink more than you want to drink. If you're still drinking, you may need to go through a medically supervised detox. It's possible for alcohol detox to kill you. If you've already detoxed, then a rehab program would be the next step, but without insurance, this may not be an option. I'm one of those who recommend AA. It's a program I'm familiar with and it saved my life. The AA program is simple, but difficult.

Others may recommend another approach. How you get sober really isn't important, if howling at the moon works for you, then howl away. The important thing is to stop drinking. I'll give you no sympathy, will listen to no excuses. I will, however, help you in any way I can.

barb dwyer

Controlling how others interact isn't exactly dealing with one's alcoholism.

It's putting the focus on responses , qualifying them...
and saying nothing about the problems with alcohol.

nolaspiral

I am sorry to bump this thread (if threads get bumped here by comment), but I feel I owe you all an apology. It was a bad idea to start posting just as the worst of DT was creeping in. You know the dread I refer to...the actual shakes and sweats and holes punched in drywall aren't there yet, but you're bracing for it. It was in this state of mind that I made and participated in this thread.
I am nowhere near the !@#$! that I must have come across as, here. I hope that over time I will demonstrate otherwise and earn your trust and respect. In the meantime, I hope that an apology will earn a second chance. Probably not, because we all know how adept alcoholics are with apologies. Thing is, I'm not drinking anymore.