Music

Thanks Don.
A short story.
During this summer, I worked on a security team at a fair here in this area. One day I had the pleasure of talking to two couples who were enjoying a glass of beer. The beer was a brand I had never heard of but apparently had a fruit(berry)taste to it. One of the men offered one of the women a taste as she had never tasted this particular brand of beer before. She commented on how good it tasted at which time the man offered her the whole glass. The women in turn replied, "oh no, I couldnt' drink all that I'd get crazy." "I have things to do when I get home." I couldn't help but think to myself, "now there's a normal drinker." I'm sure I wouldn't have given two hoots about things I had to do at home and certainly wouldn't have settled for just one glass. You see, I keep things real simple. I'm a "real alcoholic" as described in the AA Big Book. At some point in my drinking career I lost the choice about drinking after taking that first drink which to me equals being powerless. Of course, today, I'm no longer powerless over alcohol because I just simply don't use it any more. I choose not to. I believe in "self evident truths." If after drinking that first drink, I choose to drink more rather than spend time with my family, pay bills, etc., I believe alcohol is a problem. Simply stated: if alcohol causes me problems, alcohol is a problem and if I can't not drink on my own, then obviously I need help. I received the help I needed from AA and the people in AA who were my examples of what I could acheive by working the 12 steps. I guess maybe I did do a CBA when I did my fourth step but I knew long before that I was powerless over alcohol. All I had to do was "honestly" take a look at where I was as compared to where I had inspired to be. I might not have been materialy bankrupt but I sure was spiritually and moraly backrupt. Spiritually not only where a Higher Power was concerned but I was also demoralized. I was ready and willing to do anything it took to stop living the way I was living, even if it meant taking suggestions from other people, and learning to believe that I as a human being, wasn't the final word. There had to be something out there more powerful than I. To this day, I don't know what my Higher Power is, where it is, who it is, or what it looks like. I just know that It is.....and it ain't me.
Whatever works my friend.

bartender129

Hey Music,
Thanks for that explanation of what is working for you. I find that in addition to outlining what works/has worked for me, reading what works for others is quite inspiring and motivating in maintaining my abstinence. I believe that there are three types of “issues” in this world that I face each day. The first type I have a direct influence over. This things, such as living up to my responsibilities and commitments, are under my immediate control. The second type, such as issues that face my wife and children, I have indirect influence over. While my actions/opinions on these issues may be valued, ultimately they are under another persons control and I can only exert limited control. The third type, such as the weather, I have no influence or am powerless against for or purposes. Given that I have determined that this is the way my mind handles things, for me to put my chemical dependency in the third category would have been a disaster. To admit to myself that my use of alcohol is in the same category as the weather, would be like saying I will never know when, where, or how much I will drink ever again. If I believed that, I would never have been able to achieve any length of abstinence. For me, I had to put alcohol right in the first category and admit that the use/nonuse of it is something over which I have power and control. I armed myself with some cognitive skills that help me to reaffirm my choice to not ever intoxicate myself again. “After all, sobriety in itself is not a way of life. It is simply the absence of intoxication. It is what one does with his sobriety and his life that is important.”

Don S

What a great quote! Who is that from?

Thanks to both of you for this conversation and to KB for starting it. See, KindaBlue? It IS an appropriate topic!

To continue the point bartender is making, the weather is of particular importance to me since my business is directly affected by it (I own a nursery--every rainy day is a "bad" day!). I can't control the weather, but I CAN
--learn as much as possible about predicting weather patterns, so I can plan my own activities and budget accordingly; i.e., I can take action instead of just fretting;
--control how I respond to "bad" weather, and not let something I can't control lead me to depressed feelings, negative emotions, and unhealthy behavior. "Bad" weather was a surprisingly common trigger for me. Now I recognize the mood when it is beginning ("see the spark before the flames") and take action to deflect the mood or dispute the underlying beliefs.

Don S

bartender129

Don,
That qoute is from Dr. Arthur H. Cain.

Ninerfan

KB where are you? How is the experiment going? C'mon man you have to tell us something.

Chy

HI Blue,

Jumping in a bit late on your experiment, hoping for the best..... Your mighty brave my friend, just remember, where you were, where you don't want to go and HOW you got there.

You know I only wish you well!

*yup subliminal message inserted *