Cleansing

So basically, we were some REAL alcoholics. When you're hiding your drinking you know you have a problem that needs to be fix. So i don't look at this as a "how to" thread, but more of a "signs that you need help" thread. If you do any of the thigns mentioend here, then you need help.
AA
NA
Drug recovery program, call your insurance for info

firestorm090

Another form of real alcoholism is when you don't care to hide it anymore. I actually have used the phrase, "so what, I'm a drunk, what's it to you" when confronted with my drinking. I truly have reached a point where it doesn't matter who knows.

Overman

@ Fire

To me, thats what has been described as "surrendering to the disease" as opposed to an HP (in AA circles).

mikefreak

I would walk out of the way to go to a dumpster at the next block. Worse than that, I would have anywhere from 2-5 shots to relieve a BAD hangover BEFORE WORK. Mouthwash & toothpaste! I would always double-bag, stick something like a newspaper in the bag so it would be the only thing that could be seen. But most of the time I didn't care who knew. the neighborhood STILL has problems with the concept that I sobered up.(!):wtf2

littlegirllost7

After my fiance would go to bed, I would drink. I would then actually take beer bottles that I had drank and fill them up with water and put the screw caps back on and place back in the box until the 'hubby' would go to work the next day and I would replace them. That may be the worst here.

LexieCat

Most of us did it... badly.

iliveforyou

Eh yeah won't go into specifics but I thru a lot of shame and hiding my alcohol use as well when in reality I wasn't fooling a damn person. So glad that's over. Now on to tackle my current problem.

Reset

I'd carefully arrange the curbside recycling bin to hide all of the bottles. I'd almost always drink a few before going out to dinner or a party. And toward the end, whenever my kids would have friends over I'd hide in the kitchen so they wouldn't see me too wasted.

Boleo

I to thought I was a closet drunk. When I finally got around to admitting I was an alcoholic, I was shocked to learn that I was the last person in the world to see it.

Drexo

Beer was always in the fridge, I couldnt hide that for the people around me. They weren't aware of the bottle of vodka that was waiting for me in my bedroom closet though.

Forwards

This thread brings back so many shameful memories:

- My 13 year old cousin finding the bottle of vodka in my sock draw (she knew I sometimes hid sweets) and pouring it down the sink (I shouted at her for that).

- My plastic 'water bottle' of gin at work leaking all over my bag so everyone could smell it.

- Bottles stashed in the garage, suitcases, cupboards, the car.

It really is insanity. I know that alcohol lies to us on every level to get us to do this, yet this past week I find myself drinking alone and in secret once again

Mida

^^^Forwards, have you tried some type of in person support?

I see you are in the UK and someone (I forgot who) just recently posted that they went to their local medical facility in the UK, disclosed their alcohol problem, and were received warmly and provided with good care. Please seek help...(((hugs)))

winegirl

i used to hide my box next to my desk with other 'things' like books, a basket, blankets/throws and whatnot...i'd wait until garbage pickup and put them in a bag and toss them into the big tote, which was lifted and emptied by the truck straight into the heap.
poof! a multitude of sins GONE for the week...
I would also have nightmares about someone finding it or worrying that i missed the garbage truck without getting my hidden boxes in it...ughhhhh
hated it. so glad that's over.

wildart

I used to rotate liquor stores so they wouldn't recognize me. Not that they cared, but still, I was too ashamed to face the same person twice in one week. I also used to go around late at night putting my liquor bottles in other people's recycling, or tuck them deep down in garbage bags so no one would see them. I started having nightmares about my mother discovering it and going "What is this?"

TwelveSteps

This thread made me sad and gave me a laugh at the same time. I am also one of those people who lived alone yet for some reason also hid my empties... what if the dog walker came in to use the bathroom or something while I was at work and saw them??

I also started buying a brand of wine that comes in a cardboard cylinder instead of a bottle because it didn't clink -- mind you, this is decent wine and the alternative packaging is supposed to be more environmentally friendly -- I would never have bought the 5-liter "box wine," because GOD FORBID THE CASHIER THINK I WAS AN ALCOHOLIC! LOL.

Reliving these memories makes me so glad I never have to be trapped in that ridiculous craziness again! Thanks.

GG

MrDavid

Yeah...been there did that. My local drop off place was a grocery store dumpster, which was convenient but shameful. I always looked around before making my drop which was more embarrassing. Speaking of which...I wonder if I should make an amends? Good question. What would I say? How would they react? I'll ponder that for awhile.

What worried me the most, though, was the amount of alcohol I actually drank. I spent weeks clearing out my pad, and with good reason. It took me quite a long time just to get rid of all those empty bottles. I found bottles half empty and some completely full -Go figure. I could always find the empty ones but not the full ones. Here's the kicker...I lived alone, so why hide them to begin with. Can you say Freak...

Thank God, I don't have those worries anymore. I hope everyone enjoys what's coming to us in sobriety, since most of us missed out on all those blessings because of our drinking.

~God bless~

TheJungianThing

Awesome stuff.

1. Vodka in water bottles.
2. Going to different liquor stores so the clerk at the one wouldn't think I was alcoholic.
3. Various places in the apartment, hiding them from my wife.

She'd find bottles when I was drinking and I'd get defensive and she wouldn't buy it. Our first Thanksgiving when I was sober (about a year at the time) we were doing some deep cleaning of the apartment and went behind the washing machine and dryer unit. There she found a half empty bottle of vodka that had been there - at least more than a year.

I wasn't defensive because I hadn't been drinking for real, and she wasn't suspicious because I wasn't defensive. The trust was starting to get rebuilt.

As a youth sneaking beer into a movie theatre I would "sneeze" to cover up the sound of the bottle or can opening. My buddy would tell me I was self centered, nobody cared what I was doing, but I thought everyone was looking at ME.

Fifteen years later, I found, he was right - I am self centered.

krug

Drank vodka. Wore lots of old spice and used mouthwash. Threw bottles out the window of my moving car, or would go for walk and through bottles into other peoples yards. Usually would pour vodka from bottle to coke bottle and just keep this counterfeit bottles with me. No one knew, and I mean that. Not proud, but vodka and xanax together is like a coma. Shame, big loser.

I remember buying the vodka in neighborhoods no one would know me and I'd still be looking over my shoulder and rushing to get out of there before someone saw me. Felt like a little boy in trouble.

Bombshell

Wow, I'm reading this thread and nodding my head frantically in agreement with each post!

I'm a sneaky solo wine drinker - trying unsuccessfully to stop - and usually hide the bottles in my drawer whilst I'm drinking them and then hide them in the bottom of the recycling bin when I get a chance. Plus, I have a small, dainty 'legitimate' glass of wine that I drink with my mum, and a big beaker-full of other wine hidden behind my dressing table mirror that I top up from my sneaky bottles.

I've also done the thing of switching to the box of wine because it's easier to hide - I cut it into shreds and burn them/bury them in the bin.

Wow, it's sad and scary to actually read over this post and realise the extent of my problem...

MattM316

I hid them everywhere around the house, but the second someone finds out you're hiding bottles then they start actively looking for hiding places and sooner or later there is pretty much nowhere to hide.
It's a terrible situation to be in tho. I remember going to work and thinking "did I leave that bottle on my desk at home or did I remember to hide it??", so that would give me a worry all morning until I got home for lunch.