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i don't know how i feel

Old 05-28-2009, 09:53 PM
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i don't know how i feel

here i sit, had a few or more then a few and wonder ....why. i do want to stop but it just seems like I can't. when I do stop I feel so run down can't deal with my staff at work things seem to be so wrong and I get such a belly ache(can't go to the bathroom). It amazing I don't drink caffiene. I have not have the couarge to attend AA. My husband drinks all the time and he feels best if I am joining him. he has a problem also. He keepa telling me he is not healthly and I tell my self I wounder why, but I still sit with him. I just want to stop. I wish that everyone at sr would be here in person to kick my butt everytime I wanted to drink.


Thank you everone at sr
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Old 05-28-2009, 10:01 PM
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Nothing changes if nothing changes. I couldn't be around another person drinking if I was trying to stop. I'm sure that makes it tough...but outside stuff can't make you drink. It took me a long time to finally figure that out. You have to decide for yourself what you want to do....regardless of what your husband does. There is support available...but the choice is up to you to reach out and ask for help. Glad to see you posting here--this is a great place. We do recover.
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Old 05-28-2009, 11:17 PM
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You will be amazed at the acceptance you will find at meetings... go. Find one and sit in the back- - you are free to just listen. My first was VERY hard and frightening just to walk through the door but I'm pretty glad I did.
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Old 05-29-2009, 03:06 AM
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fight,

when one wants to stop more then "Anything" else in ones's life...

there is a solution...

and a huge part of that solution, is Action!

good wishes fight

rz
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Old 05-29-2009, 05:25 AM
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"I have not have the couarge to attend AA."

AA will be there for you when you are ready.
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Old 05-29-2009, 05:57 AM
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Originally Posted by fighttowin View Post
here i sit, had a few or more then a few and wonder ....why. i do want to stop but it just seems like I can't. when I do stop I feel so run down can't deal with my staff at work things seem to be so wrong and I get such a belly ache(can't go to the bathroom
I know just what you mean. The first few weeks, you walk around in a murky haze. And it seems that you just need one drink, one lil bit of alcohol, and you'll be back to your young, happy, energetic, commanding self.
But that's just a lie we tell ourselves. The next drink will push you down further, not raise you up higher.
But you have to spend a bit of time walking in the pain of recovery, accepting the rain when you want sunshine. The sunshine will come. But you have to stop the behavior that keeps you under the clouds.
If you convince yourself that you need to keep drinking to keep your job or keep your husband happy, you're just adding more and more layers of confusion to the problem. Where will you be in a year? The same place.
Today is the day to make a committment to your health and future happiness.
You can do it. Just don't run from the short term discomfort.
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Old 05-29-2009, 12:22 PM
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Originally Posted by AcceptingChange View Post
If you convince yourself that you need to keep drinking to keep your job or keep your husband happy, you're just adding more and more layers of confusion to the problem. Where will you be in a year? The same place.
Absolutely! Please take a step back and start asking yourself some serious questions. Is this really the kind of life that you want to have for yourself? Do you really want to rapidly grow old with your husband like this? There are solutions that are out there for EVERYONE. I would seek out meetings and/or therapy to start putting a new step forward to a healthier and more fullfilling way of life.

Yes, it will be hard. It always is - but it is so worth it! Good luck to you and your husband. Keep coming back.
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Old 05-29-2009, 12:40 PM
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I think that it's not about having people to kick your butt. It's about loving yourself enough to do what you need to do to live a sober life.

If you want to stop badly enough, you can do it!
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Old 05-29-2009, 03:51 PM
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I wonder if attending AA is a matter of courage or desire for you. If you want to get sober, then you must take certain steps to do so. It requires action on your part. And you have to start worrying about yourself, not your husband. He has to solve his own problems. By sitting around drinking with him you're doing a disservice to both of you. Life is all about choices. Until you choose to stop drinking, nothing will ever change.
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Old 05-29-2009, 04:48 PM
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hello fight.myself and my partner are both alcoholic.how we are together after 6yrs of alcoholic drinking,lying,cheating,stealing,arguments,,blah blah blah is beyond me.but we made it,and today we are both living happy fullfilling lives free from alcohol,we go on holiday for a month to the states soon,we are both nice to each other,.we respect each other.this is all thanks to AA.i went first and he soon quickly followed after yet another awful binge.we did it for ourselves but in the end it has saved us too.i wish you well in whatever you decide to do,,but ,things will only get worse in all aspects,,im not trying scare tactics,,that is futile.im telling it how it is in active alcoholism.if you really want to get well there is a solution.keep us posted.
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Old 05-29-2009, 08:15 PM
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Originally Posted by charmian View Post
hello fight.myself and my partner are both alcoholic.how we are together after 6yrs of alcoholic drinking,lying,cheating,stealing,arguments,,blah blah blah is beyond me.but we made it,and today we are both living happy fullfilling lives free from alcohol,we go on holiday for a month to the states soon,we are both nice to each other,.we respect each other.this is all thanks to AA.i went first and he soon quickly followed after yet another awful binge.we did it for ourselves but in the end it has saved us too.i wish you well in whatever you decide to do,,but ,things will only get worse in all aspects,,im not trying scare tactics,,that is futile.im telling it how it is in active alcoholism.if you really want to get well there is a solution.keep us posted.
It's funny when you say you respect each other. my husband has friends that i wounder who makes each other more of a dummy. when he hangs with them during the day he has no respect for me and i lose all respect for him. i know life would be so good. it is sad because r 5 yr has nothing to do with him. he will keep saying to her why dont you hug me but u always hug mom. he should see that as a problem. thanks for the feedback
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Old 05-29-2009, 08:18 PM
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You can stop...you just have to want it more than anything else.
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