Alcoholic Seeking Sobriety
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Cocoa, FL
Posts: 18
Alcoholic Seeking Sobriety
I've been fixated on getting sober for a few years but haven't committed to a real recovery yet. I'm 32 years old and have been drinking habitually for about 7 years. Alcoholism runs deep in my blood; so many members of my family have suffered and some have died from it. Growing up I knew that so I always kept it in my mind. I was able to drink and party with my friends without it being a problem. After a divorce and some other stressful issues I developed a panic and anxiety disorder. That was pure HELL. I kept clean while taking the anti-depressants that I was prescribed. But it wasn't enough and I started drinking every night just to get normal and sleep. I dropped the prescriptions and just kept the alcohol every night. As time went on.... I'm an addict to alcohol; which I swore I'd never be.
And now. It is affecting every aspect of my life and my health. I can't have a relationship because I drink every night. I feel sick almost every day. I still maintain all of my responsibilities and I'm very good at my job; but I feel horrible everyday. I can't wait for the day when I'm sober... I've lost so much of myself over the years that I truly hope that I'll get him back one day.
And now. It is affecting every aspect of my life and my health. I can't have a relationship because I drink every night. I feel sick almost every day. I still maintain all of my responsibilities and I'm very good at my job; but I feel horrible everyday. I can't wait for the day when I'm sober... I've lost so much of myself over the years that I truly hope that I'll get him back one day.
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
Welcome, Chris!
SR is a wonderful place to start.
I hope you'll read the stickies at the top of the forum, and maybe pick up a copy of 'Under the Influence'.
That book was key to helping me understand what drinking was doing to me.
And reading posts from others as we all cope with alcoholism is critical for gaining an understanding of alcohol and the disease of alcoholism.
Soberrecovery has been fundamental in helping me to stay sober, I hope you will get as much from it as I have.
Undertanding and admitting there's a problem is an enormous first step.
Congratulations.
Most people figure it out ... in jail.
Or in a detox.
So you're ahead of the game in that regard.
Have you a plan for recovery?
SR is a wonderful place to start.
I hope you'll read the stickies at the top of the forum, and maybe pick up a copy of 'Under the Influence'.
That book was key to helping me understand what drinking was doing to me.
And reading posts from others as we all cope with alcoholism is critical for gaining an understanding of alcohol and the disease of alcoholism.
Soberrecovery has been fundamental in helping me to stay sober, I hope you will get as much from it as I have.
Undertanding and admitting there's a problem is an enormous first step.
Congratulations.
Most people figure it out ... in jail.
Or in a detox.
So you're ahead of the game in that regard.
Have you a plan for recovery?
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,888
I have found that with the caring help of professionals in the treatment of alcoholism that I have recovered from a seemly hopeless disease (of the brain disease that is addiction) of alcoholism. Welcome to recovery and Sober Recovery is a nice addition to ones recovery efforts. May your recovery efforts provide...as you have demonstrated by posting here tonight...the peace and serenity you so deserve.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Cocoa, FL
Posts: 18
Originally Posted by barb dwyer 
Undertanding and admitting there's a problem is an enormous first step.
Congratulations.
Most people figure it out ... in jail.
Or in a detox.
So you're ahead of the game in that regard.
Have you a plan for recovery?
Congratulations.
Most people figure it out ... in jail.
Or in a detox.
So you're ahead of the game in that regard.
Have you a plan for recovery?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: some where / no where
Posts: 1,019
Hi Chris,
Welcome to SR.
Congrats on your decision to consider recovery. It sounds like you might be ready to make a change in your life.
A medical detox is a good idea. Have you considered AA?
chip
Welcome to SR.
Congrats on your decision to consider recovery. It sounds like you might be ready to make a change in your life.
A medical detox is a good idea. Have you considered AA?
chip
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
Stick with it.
When the will is there, and all that.
I've found the solution in Alcoholics Anonymous.
Don't cringe.
It's free.
And now I am, too.
Sometimes your doctor and/or local clinics have ideas as well.
Starting out this way - hell you're smarter than I was.
Welcome aboard!
When the will is there, and all that.
I've found the solution in Alcoholics Anonymous.
Don't cringe.
It's free.
And now I am, too.
Sometimes your doctor and/or local clinics have ideas as well.
Starting out this way - hell you're smarter than I was.
Welcome aboard!
To Thine Own Self Be True
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: So Cal
Posts: 1,946
Hi Chris,
Welcome to SR!
You are in a good place. I was where you are a little over a year ago.
I could not (I thought) spend the money or take the time off from my job and my family to get help so I dove into AA head first. I went to a meeting almost every day, I got a sponsor right away, started working the steps and doing service work. I am a miracle.
The difference in my life today is nothing short of phenomenal.
You can do this and it is SOOOOOOO worth it!
Keep posting with us and let us know how you are and what we can do to help.
Welcome to SR!
You are in a good place. I was where you are a little over a year ago.
I could not (I thought) spend the money or take the time off from my job and my family to get help so I dove into AA head first. I went to a meeting almost every day, I got a sponsor right away, started working the steps and doing service work. I am a miracle.
The difference in my life today is nothing short of phenomenal.
You can do this and it is SOOOOOOO worth it!
Keep posting with us and let us know how you are and what we can do to help.
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,942
"I can't wait for the day when I'm sober..."
Good news! You can start today!
Not so good news - you and only you can make the choice and do what is necessary.
Good news! It CAN be done.
In my opinion, based on my own ES&H, when I rely on anti-depressants ALONE to manage my depression, I am on the road to failure... therapy and other behavioral tools are also necessary... and the combination can be MARVELOUSLY effective. I have found the 'therapy' of AA/NA meetings to be a crucial key to my well-being.
Keep coming back.
Good news! You can start today!
Not so good news - you and only you can make the choice and do what is necessary.
Good news! It CAN be done.
In my opinion, based on my own ES&H, when I rely on anti-depressants ALONE to manage my depression, I am on the road to failure... therapy and other behavioral tools are also necessary... and the combination can be MARVELOUSLY effective. I have found the 'therapy' of AA/NA meetings to be a crucial key to my well-being.
Keep coming back.
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
Hello again, Chris -
Just checking in to see if you'd come back to the thread - I hope you do.
I know there's a good many of us here who talk about AA, and I hope you don't get intimidated by that right off the bat . Hopefully, those with other success stories will step forward as well.
For me personally there was no ther alternative.
But they do exist.
And some of them are right here on this site.
Hoping the best for you!
Just checking in to see if you'd come back to the thread - I hope you do.
I know there's a good many of us here who talk about AA, and I hope you don't get intimidated by that right off the bat . Hopefully, those with other success stories will step forward as well.
For me personally there was no ther alternative.
But they do exist.
And some of them are right here on this site.
Hoping the best for you!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 525
Congrats on recognizing a habit that isn't helping you, and is starting to harm you. It's tough to give up what used to feel so good. But tens of millions of us came to the same conclusion you did.
So you have two impulses: 1) "Fixated on getting sober for a few years."
(2) Drinking again.
You and I both know that Option (2): Drinking Again, will only make you more unhappy, more miserable.
So, explore Option 1: Getting sober for a few years.
I understand what you're saying. But i disagree a bit with your language. You said "I drank every night just to get normal". If you're drinking, you're not getting 'normal'. You're getting buzzed. Many hours of most days, our bodies do not tingle with euphoria.
If you've been drinking daily for 7 years, then your definition of normal is going to be different than other people. So, you'll need to redefine normal as you adjust.
If the anti-depressants worked, go back to that. Call your doc, get the meds, and use them to get through the first few months.
You found a way that worked for a while. If it worked for a couple weeks, you can make it work for a couple months, maybe 6 months, maybe longer.
Don't expect it to be easy, but take mental joy in your accomplishment as you succeed at your goal.
I hope you have the courage to dig deep within yourself and follow your impulse to 'get clean for a few years'. No one ever said "God, my life sucks since i quit drinking a few years ago."
So you have two impulses: 1) "Fixated on getting sober for a few years."
(2) Drinking again.
You and I both know that Option (2): Drinking Again, will only make you more unhappy, more miserable.
So, explore Option 1: Getting sober for a few years.
Originally Posted by ChrisBojangles
I kept clean while taking the anti-depressants that I was prescribed. But it wasn't enough and I started drinking every night just to get normal and sleep. I dropped the prescriptions and just kept the alcohol every night. As time went on.... I'm an addict to alcohol; which I swore I'd never be.
If you've been drinking daily for 7 years, then your definition of normal is going to be different than other people. So, you'll need to redefine normal as you adjust.
If the anti-depressants worked, go back to that. Call your doc, get the meds, and use them to get through the first few months.
You found a way that worked for a while. If it worked for a couple weeks, you can make it work for a couple months, maybe 6 months, maybe longer.
Don't expect it to be easy, but take mental joy in your accomplishment as you succeed at your goal.
I hope you have the courage to dig deep within yourself and follow your impulse to 'get clean for a few years'. No one ever said "God, my life sucks since i quit drinking a few years ago."
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 88
Chris, if you cannot afford an in-patient detox, there are addiction specialists in most major metro areas that can help you detox from home. They'll prescribe meds to keep you safe. I've taken that approach for the majority of my detoxes because it's a lot less expensive.
Good luck and keep us posted!
/rhn
Good luck and keep us posted!
/rhn
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: scotland
Posts: 1,493
hello chris and welcome,i too am an alcoholic,as somebody said it can be a little daunting thinking of going to AA.but my little bit of ESH so far is this,,,i went to AA begining of the year,got a sponsor, etc and already my life is changing beyond belief.i was drinking all day every day and i was scared about what i would do without my crutch,,but i wanted to stop! so,i went,sat,listened as much my brain would allow at that time and it started to rub off.i dont have the obsession for booze anymore and i dont have cravings! miracle.im now planning trip to the states shortly aswell,,6 months ago i would have laughed at somebody if they had of told me i would have all this plus peace and contentment (MOST of the time!) ever,,let alone in such a short time,we are all different folk but all with the same illness,recovery is possible if you want it.i wish you well,please keep posting and let us know how you are getting on.i hope you get the detox.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 818
Chris, I you have a Community Service Center close by then I'd check with them. They often run IOC (intensive outpatient care) programs. If there's no CSB nearby, then check with your local Health Department. They might be able to helo you. And try a few AA meetings. That's a great program and it saved my life.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Cocoa, FL
Posts: 18
Thank you all so much for the support! This is the first time I've been to share my problem with those who understand. It's really great. I think I've been battling fear and procrastination to get help. I'm very much a closet drinker; only a couple people know the truth. Nobody else knows what I do to myself on a nightly basis and I'm scared for the truth to get out.
I won't drive if I've had more than 2-3 drinks, so when I rarely go out with friends I'll drink socially and usually leave early to get home and finish the job. One reason I'm determined to get clean is because I've become a very anti-social and lonely person; I prefer the company of the bottle over friends.
I've got mixed feelings about AA but I'm not at all against it; especially since I haven't tried it. I've looked into meetings but it's impractical with the hours I work to make it to meetings on a regular basis. I have good insurance now, I just need to figure out how to get help with detox. My local mental health organization would be an obvious first choice; however they have a very poor track record. Not making excuses there, just know from personal experience with other people that have gone there for help.
I won't drive if I've had more than 2-3 drinks, so when I rarely go out with friends I'll drink socially and usually leave early to get home and finish the job. One reason I'm determined to get clean is because I've become a very anti-social and lonely person; I prefer the company of the bottle over friends.
I've got mixed feelings about AA but I'm not at all against it; especially since I haven't tried it. I've looked into meetings but it's impractical with the hours I work to make it to meetings on a regular basis. I have good insurance now, I just need to figure out how to get help with detox. My local mental health organization would be an obvious first choice; however they have a very poor track record. Not making excuses there, just know from personal experience with other people that have gone there for help.
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
One reason I'm determined to get clean is because I've become a very anti-social and lonely person; I prefer the company of the bottle over friends.
About the Big Book - it's online at AA.org. There's a TON of info on that site, too. It's one of those 'bottomless' (pardon the put) websites.
There may even be a linnk to it over on the 12 step forum up top in the stickies.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: scotland
Posts: 1,493
the book depositary is a good place to go aswell chris,,although i dont know if i should be saying this,,it may be advertising! sorry if i shouldnt be posting this! it is free delivery and very cheap.look for the similarities in the book chris,,not the differences!!!!!!
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