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Old 05-17-2009, 07:22 PM   #1 (permalink)

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5 days sober. What a mess

Hey everyone, I'm a newcomer here and I just wanted to share my experience with everyone and hopefully get some advice.

As of today I am 23 years old and my drinking endeavors started way back when I was 15 when my cousin and I found a hidden stash of scotch in my grandma's basement. We dared each other to take a shot with the sole intention of just rebelling. My cousin did not take, however I was hooked.

Since that day hardly a week went by without getting drunk. I would go with my hoodlum friends into a store and yank a bottle of vodka from the shelf only to be found inside an empty dumper the next morning, hidden from authorities.

I've never been a happy person. I joined the Marine Corps when I was eligible and the longest period I've been able to stay sober was for 3 months while I was in basic training. Back then I weighed in at a healthy 160lbs at 8% body fat.

But that was a while ago.

Today I've gained over 50lbs of disgusting fat. I've lost all of my relationships in the process because of my inappropriate behavior and I've made several attempts to quit drinking, but they never lasted for more than 3 days at a time. Just this week I've made yet another attempt at ending the infinite cycle of self pity and anger but now I'm more miserable than ever.

It's been 5 days since I've last drank, but every morning when I wake up I stumble to the bathroom as if I drank my normal 1/5 gallon of vodka. Every day I am feeling more pissed off and fog-headed than the day before, and every day I feel like I could sleep for another year. I cannot concentrate on my work and I keep having recurring memories of happier times in my dreams, only to awaken to this horror I call sobriety.

It seems like the only time I am ever "happy" is when I'm drunk, but all logic would dictate the opposite. I don't want to be seen in public any more, not like this. I cannot hold a meaningful conversation other than saying "uh huh..yeah" because I cannot think clearly

The list goes on and on, and my misery is getting exponentially worse each sober day... What a mess
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Old 05-17-2009, 07:43 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Congrats on 5 days of sobriety! That's a big accomplishment. Glad to have you here at SR.

Love must be learned, and learned again and again; there is no end to it. Hate needs no instruction, but only waits to be provoked.
--Katherine Anne Porter
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Old 05-17-2009, 10:06 PM   #3 (permalink)
Forward we go...side by side
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Welcome to our Alcoholism Forum.....

Early sobriety is very difficult...and you are just now
coming off a medical issue....de toxing from alcohol.
The next few days should improve considerably.

Drink a lot of water...eat small healthy meals...walk
A multi-vitamin + a B Complex each day is also good.

Congratulations on the beginning of your new sober life

Please let us know how you are doing
Each Day Sober Is A Victory!!
Joy In AA Recovery!

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Old 05-17-2009, 10:12 PM   #4 (permalink)

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You will definitely start feeling better. The nice thing about not drinking is that you are never hung over.
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Old 05-17-2009, 10:53 PM   #5 (permalink)
problem with authority
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Sobriety is horrible for an alcoholic. That's why we have to recover and change?

Have you tried going to an A.A, meeting?
"Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness."
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Old 05-18-2009, 01:23 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Your story isn't much different than any of ours. I think that you're very fortunate to have realized the problem at such an early age. I wish I had. Early sobriety is a b***h. If you've made it 5 days, at least you've safely detoxed. Now you need to get involved with a recovery program and the best one I've found is AA. I know it saved my life. Look up AA in the phone book. The number is manned 24/7. They'll be able to direct you to the nearest meeting. You'll find a lot of support and help there from folks who've been through what you're going through now. Best of luck and please keep us posted on how it's going.
God, Please set aside all I think I know about myself, my disease, the Big Book, the 12 Steps, the Program, the people in the fellowship, spiritual terms, and especially about you God so I may have an open mind and a new experience with these things. Amen
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Old 05-18-2009, 02:10 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Welcome, unknown.

As it's been said, early sobriety isn't much fun. It will get better. "this too shall pass".

I hope you can find some strength from knowing that you are not alone. SR is a great place to meet others who have the same struggle. AA helps many people as well.

If you stay sober, at some point, you will begin to reap the rewards of sobriety. There will be pain and suffering....but it is better than dying. Life is life, and it can be both crappy and wonderful. The rewards of sobriety can be subtle. Gaining the ability to live life on life's terms, with no mind altering subtances, requires growth that will benifit other parts of your life as well. Alcoholism lead to death if you keep drinking. I hope you can continue to live in the solution, and find life after drinking.

Finding others who have the same struggle, and sticking with them, will help you. I encourage you to try going to an AA meeting. AA isn't for everyone, but it does help millions of people. Just being in a room full of sober alcoholics can provide encouragement and inspiration when things are tough. It's good to find others who understand.

Many of us went through hell when we stopped drinking. When I stopped, drinking was the focus of my life. I felt empty and crappy all the time when I first stopped. It was tough to let go of my only coping mechanism. Through AA, I was able to find new tools to cope with and deal with life. I hope you can find a new way of living as well.

Congrats on 5 days of sobriety. I hope you will stick with it. One day at a time, it will get better if you keep working at it.
One Day At A Time.....
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Old 05-18-2009, 04:29 PM   #8 (permalink)

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Thanks for the support guys! It really means alot to me. Today is day 6 and I feel worse than yesterday. Not only physically, but emotionally as well.

I havent eaten anything today, and since I don't have any food at all, much less that could spoil, I feel this is a prime time for a 14 day water fast to help expedite my detox.

I find it rather sad that I am getting more help from you guy here, complete strangers, than I do my own family. Earlier today I got in a fight with my mother because I blew up when I was trying to explain to her my symptoms and she just said "get over it"
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Old 05-18-2009, 04:34 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Unknown03 View Post
I find it rather sad that I am getting more help from you guy here, complete strangers, than I do my own family. Earlier today I got in a fight with my mother because I blew up when I was trying to explain to her my symptoms and she just said "get over it"
Exact same support i had from mine when i tried to quit cocaine and booze altogether - ten years ago! I took it really hard and really did not realized that it was a mix of her overall bad attitude towards me and not knowing what an addict has to go through. So you are in a great place, here, SR - were people know exactly what you are going through.

Keep posting and keep reading around.

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Old 05-18-2009, 05:54 PM   #10 (permalink)

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Hi unkown, you are doing great, one day at a time, that's what they say, that's what we can do. i'm 6 'nights' sober now. when i decided that it was time to do something about my drinking, i chose to go to an AA meeting, i didn't drink the night before my first meeting, and it was very hard. i am taking sleeping pills, my doc is supportive, he says we'll conquer the drinking first, then worry about any possible pill addiction later. My plan is to get to as many meetings as i can. i came away from the meeting with some leaflets, one is 'just for today' i read it often. Hang in there and keep posting.
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Old 05-18-2009, 08:22 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Hi again,
In additon to Carol's advice about eating healthy....

Get yourself something sweet to eat, assuming you can eat sweets. In early sobriety, many of us found that eating some candies helped us feel better.

Some of us found that it was a good idea to eat whenever we had a craving. Food fills the stomach.

Let us know how it's going.
One Day At A Time.....
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Old 05-18-2009, 10:34 PM   #12 (permalink)

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Unknown, you can beat this man! I know what you're going through, when booze is such an integral part of your life for so long it can be extremely difficult to change that. What I've found is the mental aspect of it all has been the toughest for me... fighting those constant battles with myself to want to get a beer. If you can overcome that first week or so (and it seems like you have) you will begin to remember how wonderful life is sober. Believe me when I say this will feel extremely good.
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Old 05-20-2009, 06:36 AM   #13 (permalink)

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i have tried to stop drinking so many times and each time i promise myself that i will succeed, but guess what yet again i have failed. i am sat at work drinking cos i am going thru withdrawal. i am now worried that i may never be able to give up the drink.
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Old 05-20-2009, 06:57 AM   #14 (permalink)
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a program of recovery will helped me immensely... the physical craving still hit, and it took quite some time before i was back on track with my health, but i had friends and face to face support, and steps to work and meetings to go to... i had things to do, to get busy and stay busy in recovery. it's been 3 years (today!) since my last drink, and now i'm a triathlete (i only did one, but it counts!) who runs with friends and does yoga and is happy, joyous, and free... on most days.

i'm an AAer and i credit AA with saving my life, but AA certainly doesn't have the monopoly on recovery. i think it's worth it to at least give it a shot, but whatever you end up doing, know that life without alcohol is not only possible, but it can be as beautiful as you're willing to make it.

good luck, congrats on day 6!
"To take for permanent
That which is only transitory
Is like the delusion of a madman."
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Old 05-20-2009, 07:00 AM   #15 (permalink)
Living in sobriety
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Hi unkown.....I hope your still sober ....I find AA a great support, It works if you work it and has done for me for quite a while now. Keep posting
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Old 05-20-2009, 11:41 AM   #16 (permalink)

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Hey everyone, thanks for the support. I'm glad to see people are still cheering me on. Today is day number 8 of being sober and I feel a little better. However, my head still feels like I'm out of body, and I can't seem to sleep throughout the night.

I have only had the desire to drink twice this week and to be honest, I am literally SHOCKED that I was able to quickly get over it.

I absolutely DON'T like candy, but I've just rediscovered how sweet strawberries actually are and am quite amazed how something so pure could come from nothing/out of the dirt and mud.

I rode my motorcycle today and although I usually have a good time, today I found it surprisingly more pleasant than usual
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Old 05-20-2009, 02:46 PM   #17 (permalink)
Another Day in Paradise
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Keep up the good work!

I found that any fruits that have natural sugars and honey were very helpful. The other activity that got me through some very severe post drinking days was long walks. This allowed me to set a pace that was apropos with my state of physical well being. Ultimately I converted these walks into runs, but all things in time.

The act of walking, particularly when I would have been drinking, gave me time to clear my thoughts as well as my body. I dropped 65lbs over the first three months of sobriety and the feeling of physical and mental rejuvenation allowed me to stay sober these past several years.

OH YEA, AA saved my life and continues to do so.

Good luck,

Moderation in all things, INCLUDING MODERATION!
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Old 05-20-2009, 04:04 PM   #18 (permalink)

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hello unknown,nice to meet you and welcome to sr.i put down the drink earlier in the year and took myself to AA.i had experince of AA from before (wasnt ready to quit!) so i sort of knew what to expect,,my life has changed dramatically since then in a very short time.i remeber only too well what those first few days feel like,,it gets better.as someone said before AA is not for everyone but what the heck? nothing to loose and maybe everything to gain..ie a life! this is what it has given me,,i have to work at it but its a pleasure after the complete h*ll of active alcoholism,,please keep us posted and i wish you well.congrats on your 8 days.every day without drink for an alki is a miracle!
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Old 05-20-2009, 05:38 PM   #19 (permalink)

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congrats on urdays im on day 26 it gets easier after some time.i,,had 27,28,72 days b

but now I have a sponsor from aa. I yhink u should get one also.lets count days together
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