rhnorment

As a precursor, this thread DOES NOT relate to detox. Detox is physical withdrawal, and that is an entirely different beast from this thread. This thread is intended for current drinking only.


I have long been fascinated by the psycho-physical change in my hangovers as my drinking progressed over the years. I want to share my personal experience on this topic because I am interested if other serious alcoholics experienced a similar change in their hangovers over time.

I long for the days when I would wake up with a terrible headache and vomit. Let's just start there. I would feel so physically bad that I would not crave any alcohol for weeks at at time.

True alcoholics reach a "tipping point" where their minds and bodies cannot function without alcohol. Even as a sober man, I am at that point now.

Then comes admitting you are an alcoholic and starting your recovery program. Recovery is tough. Odds are that 85% of people that enter the rooms of AA or go to rehab for the first time will relapse. What do the other 15% do that we don't? Were they really alcoholics to begin with?

Let me write to you about my hangovers as a true alcoholic; I went to 4 rehabs in 2 years, lost my job, my career, and my family, and still could not quit drinking.

As a true alcoholic that had attempted recovery so many times...

1. I awoke up with no headache or nausea. No physical hangover at all. I could function like a Swiss Watch all day.

2. However, I awoke with more shame and guilt than I could handle -- simply because I had tried and failed so many times. Once more, I had let down my family and all the people that supported me during yet another attempt at recovery. I had to drink the shame and guilt away because it was MENTALLY unbearable. The Big Book of AA calls this "incomprehensible demoralization," and the authors could not have described it better.

3. As my drinking progressed, whereas I once would vomit because of too much alcohol, I would now vomit and dry heave for 10 minutes every morning because I did not have ENOUGH alcohol the night before. The short chemical half-life of ethanol is the killer for alcoholics. That's why we crave more in order to "survive."

My point is the the alcoholic's hangover becomes much more MENTAL & EMOTIONAL than physical as the drinking progresses. At least, that is my experience. I'd much rather have physical hangovers because it would deter me from the elixir. But, the mind controls the body, and what the mind wants, the mind gets.

I'd love to hear from others who have experienced a similar psycho-physical change.

Thanks, RHN

yeahgr8

I can totally relate to that! I am what would be called a functioning alcoholic, held down jobs with little problem. The hangovers are no longer physical apart from a light head whilst the body kicks out the alcohol...the feelings of dread, fear, guilt and hopelessness are terrible though.

I can see i'm a stones throw from total alcohol dependance though, i am goin into rehab on the 10th May and have all digits and limbs crossed!

flutter

I don't use AA for my recovery, so I can answer part of your question "what do they do?". I quit without AA, and I sought and participate in individual outpatient addictions counseling. I hate labels, and the "real" or "true" alcoholic argument. I think it's a cop out. This isn't a pissing contest.. Alcohol was destroying me as much as it has anyone before or after me. But we've debated that enough on these boards to last a few lifetimes, and as you all have your opinions, I'm only able to express mine.... All I know is that it was killing me, and I became physically and psychologically addicted and dependent on alcohol, and I had to stop, or die.

I did experience 'hangovers' like you describe, and I have always felt that it was because I constantly had a stream of alcohol running in my system, upon waking .. of course I did. Then I would do a shot or 2 and find balance in my system again. And so would start my day. Had I actually let myself sober up for a few days, drank again.. my old "type" of hangover returned.. intense, mind throbbing, gut turning... but once I got to the point to where technically my body never DIDNT have alcohol in it, I felt just like you've described. I am VERY thankful and proud to be done with that part of my life, I have never felt better physically, emotionally, or spiritually.

jhvw2000

I really relate to this. It was when I started getting sick when I DIDN'T drink that I knew I had a problem. Like alot of you here of I kept on drinking for a few more years until my health was so bad I just had to stop, no matter how scared I was to put it down.

electrickery

I really am not sure if I am an alcoholic or a problem drinker or what anymore but my experience runs like this.



At some point REMORSE and GUILT became the most strong characteristic of my hangovers even when I had set out the night before happily, 100% set to get drunk, hadn't made a fool of myself, insulted anyone or done anything foolish other than getting drunk. Sometimes (often) there were blackouts but not always. So i am also intrigued by this question because I often sat around feeling thoroughly remorsefull, guilty, depressed and as if I had made a huge mistake, like my life was a mess even though nothing bad had happened and in fact my life was fairly functional.

My problem was always the once I start I cant stop issue so somehow I had managed to reduce the episodes between binging significantly but even then when i did drink and had set out to drink a lot remorse and guilt were there.
I cant remember when this started though. I know it was not something i started feeling until i had been drinking for maybe 4-5 years? But I am not sure about that.

I cant imagine how much that intrinsic hangover remorse and guilt would be amplified if I had actually really ruined a marriage, lost a dream job, crashed a car or whatever else happens to so many people when they cant stop drinking.

I think it must be a neurotransmitter change that happens after a while of drinking.... anyone?

CarolD

I considered myself an alcoholic when I was diagnosed
with situational depression ...and my doctor suggested AA.
And was shocked to find I continued my drinking
despite all the remorse and guilt described by everyone above.

I knew how to stop the physical withdrawals....I too kept
x ammount of alcohol in my blood stream.

It was the terrible obcession and cold dark depression
that had me on the edge of insanity. However....
I really never considered that a hang over.....

Some of you might find this article interesting
it's about addiction and the brain.

http://www.time.com/time/health

Tom67

I agree. I remember hearing this at the few AA meetings I went to initially. I was turned off by it.... I also didn't like the idea of embracing powerlessness and declaring oneself as having a disease like it were a real disease like diabetes or cancer, and then arguing who was worse or who really had it. I decided instead to try CBT based therapy and learned that as long as I choose not to drink alcohol, I have no problems with alcohol. For me the thing to work on was choosing not to drink by countering the pleasant associations that would trigger drinking, and they would always precede a binge, with the reality of what always resulted.

An interesting site:

Stop Drinking free - Non AA - Non 12 step - The 12-Step Approach
Stop Drinking free - Non AA - Non 12 step - Destroy Your Desire to Drink


I uses to get really bad hangovers.... they would last 7 days. I'd get the hypoglycemic shakes for 3 days. The worst of it was the hopeless paranoid depression which would kick in on the second or third day after the binge. After a week I would recover, become productive again, and then start to crave the intensely happy high that for me was the alcohol buzz/drunk when I would get reminded of the fleeting happy high through something associated with it. I would totally forget or not value the intense mental and physical pain and destructive effect it had on me getting anything of value done. The way for me was creating a new mental association with the idea of drinking, one that more closely mirrored reality. For me, alcohol sucks and it is as simple as that.

rhnorment

Thanks for the responses thus far. I really enjoyed reading electrickery's response. I think he/she is spot on.

The strange thing is that we feel all this guilt and shame, yet we never did anything illegal. Alcohol is available everywhere these days and it's socially accepted. I would never drink and drive. Instead, I would isolate, shut everyone out, and drink alone. In doing that, I never broke the law, yet the next morning I felt completely demoralized -- like I had committed a huge crime.

There really is some truth when people tell you that once you attempt recovery and relapse, you will never enjoy the alcohol again.

/RHN

CarolD

I totally agree......

Let's not turn this thread into yet another
"My way is the only way"

Here is a list ...posted as a sticky...top of this forum
of verious recovery programs for you to explore

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-programs.html

And some SR members are happily sober not using a structured program.

Find something that benefits you...
Yes! you too can quit and stay quit
:ghug

rhnorment

I apologize to this group for using the phrases "real alcoholic" and "true alcoholic." I did so because MY personal recovery is based on AA and the Big Book of AA has an entire section dedicated to this topic and uses those same phrases.

I apologize if I offended anyone.

I appreciate those of you who have made me aware of the many non-AA recovery programs. I did not intend for this thread to be so close-minded. My bad.

/RHN