Bluberry

For those who don't know, i am going to leave for an inpatient rehab the day after tomorrow.

Well, I was sitting in my garage and I started to cry and pray, thinking on how scared I am about sobering up. I said to god; I hate this life. But I don't want to leave it. Why?

Any feelings, comments, would be apprecitated.

thx.

CarolD

I find the Serenity Prayer to be calming

"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I can not change
the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference"

You can not change the past
You are going to learn how to live clean and sober
and you are wise enough to move forward.

Good for you.....

satyricon

It's a frightening thought to change your life in such a profound way.

I'm on day 4 of my second time quitting and I took an hour long walk today just saying to myself "I am an alcoholic and I can never have another drink in my life". It's a scary prospect but I want to do whatever I can to accept this fact.

Zencat

As toxic as addiction is, it becomes a constant in life. Letting go of this constant can be unbelievably frighting...just as frighting as reaming trapped in addiction. Two sides of one feeling only one outcome is disaster the other is a hope for a new and better life. Hang in there your on your way to healing. Please do make your appoint for treatment. You deserve a better life, one free from the grip of addiction

CarolD

satyricon ....Welcome to our SR Alcoholism Forum

Keep in focus...you too can win over alcohol

coffeenut

Change is scary, and when alcohol gets you by the throat, it's even scarier. Please know...being sober is so worth the change. It just is. It just is.

Iamlucy

Its so easy to go to treatment because they usually give you so much support!! If that was your baby in the picture I would go and come back to give them a life they deserve. And even if it wasn't I would still go.

Going to treatment can sound scary but they really are just there to help, thats thier whole focus in their life's work. Just let them help you and I hope the after treatment goes so good for you.

Serenity33

I know how scared you feel. I feel the same way but I know I need to be sober to be a better mom for my son. He deserves a functioning happy healthy sober mom. Thats my main reason.

Iamlucy

It will scare you new things are always scary. Thats why their new, if you already knew it, it wouldnt be such a suprise.

Don't let it be your second suprise. Do it once and work the program. I really havn't done it but if you have children, you don't want them to be like us; it's no way to live.

I grew up in a bar and it was not fun.

Don't continue the disease; I think you can make it!!!

jplcbr

hi bluberry - i completely understand your fear. i was a wreck days before (and the day) i went into rehab. i was there for 30 days. it was a life changing event. its not a fix all solution but it does give you the time and space you need to detox and realize that life is much more than that next bottle of wine or (jack) in my case.
anyhow, keep your family 'top of mind' and realize this is a disease and it will take time to heal. it took us all years to develop this disease...therefore it will take a long time to fully heal. just take it one day at a time and God bless u.

CarolD

jplcbr....Welcome to SR


Good to see a new member in our Alcoholism forum

nelco

Its always scary changing...that's why we pray for the courage to change. Your decision shows great courage. I made that decision once many years ago and it was the best decision of my life. Best of good wishes going your way.

penny74

It is scary !
Because you will be leaving your security blanket behind.
no matter what happened you could always flee in to the arms of alcohol and not feel he pain there...
Now you will have to do without that and do it yourself.
have faith in yourslf.
You are stronger than you think !!
peace .



Never take the advice of someone who has not had your kind of trouble.
- Sidney J. Harris. -

colettely

I felt the exact same way but now that I am sober I never want to go back to that life I'm worth more...ya I miss the drink but I know if I drink again what I have now I'd miss a hell of alot more and I know I'd never get it back...When I went to rehab I took it as a challange and thank God one day at a time I am still going strong. Now I have a new life...one which doesn't include hangovers,regrets just alot of honesty and williness...best of luck...I promise you...it's the best gift you can give yourself,friends and familly...

collinsmi

Maybe on some level you're afraid of losing something you think you'll have to give up. Maybe it's fear of the unknown.

Been in AA and working the steps for a little over 12 years. I can honestly say there's almost nothing I miss from the old life, and most certainly nothing worth all the suffering I went through. The only regret I have is that I didn't start this sooner (much sooner) but it takes what it takes, as they say.

Theresa

I like all of these thoughts/posts. I agree, for me, with Penny's thougths about leaving behind the security blanket. No matter how bad it is, it is known.

With a little distance from the alcohol (or whatever addiction or bad life style) we can a little breathing space that lets us see that letting go was a gift.

Best wishes are sent your way as you begin this journey to a new, better life.

DayWalker

Just like everyone else has already said, it's because it's all you know right now. It may be a very unhappy life but right now it's your life and changing our lives is something that is scary for everyone. Fear of the unknown is just human nature.

When you decide to make a change like this it's normal to have a bunch of fears since you won't have alcohol to deaden your emotions or personality traits. I think we all probably secretly asked ourselves "will people like who I really am?"...."Will I like who I really am?"..."Can I deal with things without something influencing my feelings?".

Right now your asking yourself Why do you want to hang on to your old life, but trust me once you decide to give it up and make a change, that question will be replaced with "why didn't I do this sooner!".

Hang in there and just take it day by day and give it a real effort and you'll see the positive affects quiting drinking will have on not only your life but on your outlook and personality as well.

Steve

freya

Is that you and your child in your avatar photo?

......or just some people you love and care about enough to have their photo as your avatar?

Either way, I'd say you've got some mighty big blessings in your life, and they would probably be a d*mn good place for you to start in answering "why?".

freya

danog

Bluberry

Sounds like you have made an excellent decision!!!!

I too was scared out of my wits before going to inpatient rehab. But I quickly fell at ease as I was surrounded with support and fellow addicts!! You will be too.

Hip hip hooray for your decision!!!

( I've only been sober for 2 days)

Dan

CarolD

danog......
Welcome to SR and our Alcoholism Foprum