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4 days, and I am back at 0

Old 04-13-2009, 06:22 PM
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4 days, and I am back at 0

We all know what that means. Over the past 2 1/2 years, I can not stay sober for more then two weeks. 14 days i sactually my record, and its hard stayingsober for 3 or 4 days...

Please, give me some advice, i am struggling....
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Old 04-13-2009, 06:42 PM
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Just don't give up....I'm kinda struggling myself. I have 27 days...but did have over a year sober. Are you working the 12 Steps with a sponsor? Hang on! You are not alone.
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Old 04-13-2009, 07:30 PM
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You know, in those early weeks and months of recovery, I RAN to AA Meetings. Oh, not for any "Program". Nope. But there sure were a lot of them, at lots of times of the day and night, and .............................................. there were lots of folks at them that had gone through or were going through what I was.

I would go to one right after work. Then something to eat, then another one. Even hit some on my lunch hour, or in the morning before work.

Why?

Well, I felt SAFE there. I got HOPE there, if these other folks from all walks of life could make it, then maybe I could too. I met people that when they smiled the smile went all the way to their eyes, and when they laughed or cried it came from their very sole, nothing fake about it.

Tried all sorts of 'different' meetings and found some folks, that I could identify with. Started to find some new friends, and ..................................... it kept me from going back to the booze long enough for my head to start to get clear of the fog and mush.

You might give the meetings a try, they do help.

J M H O

Love and hugs,
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Old 04-13-2009, 07:33 PM
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Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
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changes ....to protect my early sobriety I found I needed
to make many changes.
Perhaps you need to make some too.

Try something different until you find your way....
Yes! you too can make changes and quit.
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Old 04-13-2009, 07:49 PM
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Hey Stick, Get to an AA meeting. Get to lots of them. If you feel uncomfortable in one, find another. This alcoholic thing can't be cured but it can be controlled. Get yourself a home group and a sponsor, even if it's only a tempory one.There are a lot of folks out there that are going through what you are and thus your problems are not unique. We've all been there and done that and we're all willing to help in any way we can.

Keep in mind that drinking is a choice. You have to decide whether you want to stop drinking more than you want to continue. If you decide to continue be advised that you're killing yourself as Alcoholism is fatal. So I pray that you choose wisely. The solution is there, you just have to go for it. Please keep us posted.
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Old 04-13-2009, 09:19 PM
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Hi,
I can tell you what worked for me. The only way I could stay sober was to totally immerse myself with an activity that reinforced staying sober. So I went to a lot of AA meetings and keep my mind busy working the steps. If I had stayed in the house I never would have made it. It's kinda uncomfortable drinking at an AA meeting.
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Old 04-14-2009, 07:07 AM
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as a chronic relapser, i know the frustration. the alcoholic's hangover is emotional rather than physical. the guilt, shame, etc. i know exactly how you feel.

i find that i have to force myself to do an activity -- any activity -- at the time of day i would normally start to drink. then that activity -- mine happens to be walking -- becomes a habit that keeps me from the bottle. it's working so far.

best of luck to you.
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Old 04-14-2009, 10:26 AM
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Yeah, I can relate too. I'm what they called a chronic slipper. But not anymore. I have over 5 years now. Something's working. something's changed.

But I'm different than you. I could get and stay sober in AA for something like 2 years, then back out. I did this for a long period of time and when I was headed out the door the last time, people told me what I was gonna do. I didn't want to hear it.

I was. I didn't care. Nobody could stop me and nobody tried to. I had to go.

Then I came back and was at that place where I couldn't go on drinking, but I couldn't "accept spiritual help". I didn't want to face the music and raise my hand one more time. I considered arranging my life around booze, but that would have meant leaving my wife. She wanted no part of it. I was lying to her anyway and hiding my drinking... best I could. Then one day I called up the guys and asked if I could go to their meeting and they said, "Sure. Come on over."

I don't know why I did that. Maybe I was prayed in. But when I showed up, I was a whooped dog and I didn't care what they thought. But I wanted help. I said, "Here I am. I don't know what to do. What can I do? Can I give this thing one more shot?"

They knew I meant it. I was serious. I was out of ideas. They said, "It's up to you, Bud. Either you're gonna do this or you're not."

They said, "Get in. You need God and you need God fast. Do a 4th step and have it done in 21 days." I had it done in 22. A world record for me! I've been sober ever since. I made every meeting in that home group which was/is once per Monday night. I went to other meetings too, but I just flat out went to that meeting no matter what. And on Friday they do lunch together. I did that too. The whole while, I didn't want to drink and I didn't. But for something like a whole year, I didn't say much and I did what they asked me to do.

I had to decide for myself that I was gonna do AA no matter what. It worked for me. Remembering back, all I did to attain my 1st step was looked back at my exact experience with booze. I talked about how I drank and hardly anything else. As I went along and did the 12 steps, I started to gain experience about what I'd done in that step. I hardly even read the book except as it pertained to the step I was on. I didn't talk much about what I thought of the step, just what I did and what was true for me. It was a great year.
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Old 04-14-2009, 07:19 PM
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The best I could achieve in the past 2 years were 9 days max, I definately want to make it better.
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Old 04-14-2009, 08:06 PM
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flavinho....
Welcome back to SR
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Old 04-14-2009, 08:08 PM
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Flavin, mine has been 14 over the past two years, so I know how you feel.
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Old 04-15-2009, 04:45 PM
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You don't have to live like that SCS! I once did, but not any more, thank God!
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Old 04-15-2009, 11:40 PM
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Originally Posted by SexyCeloryStick View Post
Please, give me some advice, i am struggling....
It's easy for me to look back at my last "relapse" and see what I did wrong. I have only 20 days of sobriety today and it's easy for me to respond to your thread. What's hard for me is often seeing what I need to do right now. My short term immediate desires, what I want, what I would like to be doing often collide with what I should be doing which is actually what I want but I just can't always see it.

Others can see what you need to do SexyCelorStick.

My answer to your question is to listen and then follow the objective responses of people who understand and are you by giving you the very advice you are asking for.

I have found with time the hard way that asking for advice does no good without listening to it and then accepting the truth in it and doing it.

Drinking gets worse never better.
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