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I'm sitting here knowing I need to do something, help!

Old 04-12-2009, 03:55 PM
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Question I'm sitting here knowing I need to do something, help!

I've been drinking on and off (pretty heavily if I admit it) since I was about 21, I’m 28 now.

It used to be the odd bottle of wine at my ex boyfriend’s house on a Friday night, and a few drinks in the pub on a Thursday and a Saturday night.

My fiancé is more or less tee total, he only drinks on a proper night out and although he likes to have a good time, he can only manage a few of pints.

When we met, I was drinking a couple of bottles of wine several nights a week, but I was really unhappy with my ex (no excuse I know) and I can’t believe how I held down a job at the time.

In the first year of being with my fiancé, I’d only drink when we went out.

Then I slipped a bit and would start buying wine to drink at home, but nothing too bad.

Then I got a new job, knocked the drinking in the week on the head almost completely, but slowly fell back into it.

To give you an idea; I’ve drunk for the past four evenings. On average, a bottle and a half of wine a night, maybe a bit more. I don’t drink when my fiancé’s son is here, but that’s only two nights a week.

Up until recently, I didn’t drink if I was on an early shift at work the next day but I’m also failing on that most weeks. I’m even making the rotas at work mean that I work an early the morning after my fiancé’s son stays over, so I can work later in the day after the nights I can drink.

I know it’s getting out of hand. I joined another alcohol website several years back, when I was with my ex and I couldn’t wait to get home to have a drink.

We even went to an AA New Years Party (he was working there, not by my choice), and I had a bottle of wine in the car for on the way home.

It’s not quite like that now, but I can see things are getting out of hand again. My fiancé doesn’t often say much about my drinking, he will comment a couple of times a week though that I’m drunk or my eyes have gone all “piggy and small”. On occasion we do fall out about it.

I’m not often really drunk, a bit tipsy maybe. I don’t fall over or anything. Doesn’t make it any better, I know.

I feel bored if I don’t drink in the evening. I don’t get shaky or sick, though sometimes I do have a bit of a headache the next day. I suppose I just want someone to tell me what I should do.
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Old 04-12-2009, 04:07 PM
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Hi and welcome to SR. Boredom is one of the reasons I drank as well. I need to find things to occupy my mind and replace the drinking. I go to AA meetings and have a sponor and am working the steps and if nothing else it does take my mind off of wanting to drink cause Im doing actual work on not drinking. I hope you stick around and read and post there are many of us in the same boat or have been there.
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Old 04-12-2009, 04:11 PM
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Thank you so much. Can I ask where you got your username from? I think I know but I'm not sure!

Thanks again, I will stick around and keep reading here.
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Old 04-12-2009, 04:42 PM
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I would just suggest being honest with somebody face to face such as an AA member or a alcohol counselor like you have today with us and see where it goes from there. The greatest thing I learned at first when I "discovered" my drinking problem is that there are millions of people just like me. That really broke the ice, because up until that point, I thought everybody had fun drinking except me. Thank you for posting and I hope you find what you need out there!
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Old 04-12-2009, 04:48 PM
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Thanks Todd. I feel a bit uncomfortable talking about it, but I'm thinking of changing doctors and will think about this.

It might sound like a bit of a strange request, but I have a huge curiosity about what and how much people drink or used to drink who find themselves on this website.

I'm in England. You can buy a cheap bottle of wine for around 2.50GBP or three bottles of decent wine for 10GBP (less than 15US dollars).

I drink rose wine with soda water. I don't know whether it is wrong to ask/post about what people drink or did drink, I'm sorry if anyone takes offence. I suppose I just want to compare how bad my drinking is, sorry.
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Old 04-12-2009, 04:54 PM
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Welcome to SR and our Alcoholism Forum

Yes...your drinking is causing problems for you.

The fact is alcohol is a toxin for everyone who drinks it.
It causes all sorts of damage ...physically and mentally.

Good to see you here ...
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Old 04-12-2009, 06:25 PM
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It sounds like you have discovered you may have an issue with drinking before it has gotten too far out of control. That is good. Alcoholism is progressive, so if you are an alcoholic, it will keep getting worse. So what may seem reasonable/tolerable now may become uncontrollable if you keep doing what you are doing. Why not try and give up alcohol for 30 days or so? If you are concerned about it enough to post on here, you probably are on to something.
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Old 04-12-2009, 06:33 PM
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Jessie, It doesn't matter how much or how often the rest of us drank. What matters is how alcohol is affecting your life. Everone is different except for the fact that we are all powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanageable.
I suggest you go to a few AA meetings. You'll be suprised at how much you have in common with other problem drinkers. And going to meetings is a sure cure for boredom, especially if you join a home group and get actively involved. And work on quitting drinking. It doesn't matter if it's wine or whiskey, it will end up killing you.
Keep us posted. We're all rooting for you.
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Old 04-12-2009, 06:59 PM
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welcome!!!

Keep coming back, you'll find a lot of support here.
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Old 04-12-2009, 07:37 PM
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Alcoholics Anonymous | AA | in England, Scotland and Wales, UK
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Old 04-12-2009, 08:24 PM
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Old 04-12-2009, 09:56 PM
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You really can't compare drinking because all of us are different weights, heights, tolerances. What got you completely wasted might not even register for someone else.

Like joedris said, it can be a whole lot of factors. How your drinking affects your life, are you experiencing any withdrawal symptoms, are you physically addicted? These are all things that will guide your path to recovery and makes you, you. We are all different.

Welcome! Keep coming back posting and stop into chat sometime. Lots of people who have first hand knowledge around here.
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Old 04-15-2009, 12:16 AM
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Welcome to SR-I agree with everyone above it doesn't matter what I kind of alcohol I drank because it all had the same effect--The disease of Alcoholism is an allergy of the body which causes an obsession to control the drinking(which worked for a SHORT time then I lost all control and became obsessed with finding ways to make the alcohol work for me--It is a progressive disease--After seeking treatment I learned many things about the disease and I go to many meetings(AA) to replace the time I spent drinking and I got a sponsor to take me thru the steps-THERE IS HOPE-I celebrated 2 years sober Feb.25-It wasn't easy but simple suggestions from people who have been thru it too gave me hope. I am free of the obsession to drink.THANK GOD!
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