Crashed

I need to stop. Been drinking daily since I was 14... i'm now 20.

Started going a dodgy shade of yellow.

Got £10 in my pocket, dont get paid for two weeks.

Met a really nice guy, been seeing him for 5 weeks... he's questioned it... guess being me im good at making excuses. Dont wanna loose him.

I admitted I was an alcaholic about two years ago when I was 18, I told my family while crying my eyes out. They told me I wasn't.

I went to the doctors, they offered no help.

I live in a shared house in hampshire, all my family are back in manchester, theres little support for me here. I looked down on my bedroom floor yesterday at the 3 empty beer cans and thought 'how pathetic drinking like this on your own.' I usually drink when I get home from work, but if I have some lieu hours an go in work late Ill have a couple before and I dont want to loose my job.

I don't know why I cant just say no. I do like the feeling of being drunk, but I also convince myself that I need to drink to be able to conversate, but then at the same time I know this isn't true.

I don't want to die before i'm 25.

CarolD

Welcome to SR and our Alcoholism Forum....

As you are turning yellow...you definately need to see a doctor
and be totally honest about your drinking. A simple blood
test will determine what damage ..if any...has been done.

I found a lot of understanding and support when I started
using my recovery program....Alcoholics Anonymous.
You might want to consider finding a local meeting and go.

Good to see a new member
Please keep posting.....many of us have quit drinking
So can you....

least

Welcome to the family! Please do see a doctor, if not yours, find another one. One who knows about addictions. I was finally able to stop drinking but I had to want to be sober MORE than I wanted to drink. It is possible to stay sober but it takes time and effort. Start with today. Don't drink today. Repeat tomorrow. You can do this.

Fletch2468

Hi Crashed, firstly welcome to SR its good to have you here, there is so much support and love here it is a great place to come and read and post, I think you will find it a great help to you.
I agree with carol go see a doctor and be brutally honest about your drinking they will be able to help you. Also look for local AA meetings in your area and attend as many and as often as you can, I was terrified the first time I went to a meeting but everyone was so kind and welcoming to me, made me feel so much better and more relaxed about my problem.
I had a couple of relapses and am now on day 8 of not drinking and feel great for it.

So please keep coming back and good luck on your road to sobriety.

shaun00

crashed...i wanted to take the time to tell you...IT IS POSSIBLE.

For years i thought it wasnt possible....

ive been where you are....yellow...lost...desperate....couldnt live with it couldnt live without it..

Get to the docs...........and be totally honest.

He or she will be able to suggest a safe way to stop....sometimes we alcoholics need medical assistance....ie meds to stop safely.

I found the answers in the 12 steps of aa as suggest in the book "alcoholics anonymous"....

I lived in sandhurst for years and worked in farnborough for a while.

Now living in the west country.........and havent felt the need to drink for 8.5 years.

Can you get to an AA meeting??...i happen to know a few in your area.

You can also ring AA for advice on the helpline......they will come to see you if you ask.....and they are all alcoholics helping others find sobriety.

AA is my only experience of getting and staying sober so that all i can share.

Pm me anytime....and god be with you.................trucker

Crashed

Thanks for replyin guys, I dodnt expect so many so quick!

trucker, I would love to know if theres some places to go in my area, i cant send private messages untill i have posted 5times (a set back which isn't needed right now) but if you can post them here that would be great... it really would.

I know I should go doctors, but it was a massive kick in the teeth last time I went, im at a new doctors now, but im more scared of bein shown i cant get help, then not having it at all (if that makes sence?)

As for stoping today, I try everyday, everyday is my last. On the way to the show I say to myself dont do it, the moment I see the shop I forget all that, walk in and dont feel bad for doing it. I dont feel bad until the next morning, thats when I realise it wasnt all that fun drinking, and not worth the money. By the evening its all happening again.

Im drinking now writing this, obviously I know I shouldnt be drinking, but at the same time I dont feel bad at all, you know what i mean?

Thankyou again guys for replyin, this is the first time for about a year iver even said anythin about drinking to anyone, more replys are very welcome.

shaun00

crashed did you get the pm?

TigerLili

Crashed when I started posting here at SR I was still drinking too. Don't worry. There's help if you want it. You can go to AA and you don't need to stop drinking before you walk in the door. Plenty of people are still drinking when they are new.

I'm glad you are here asking for help.

shaun00

yeah sounds about right......if i had a drink i always talked about stopping.

once i had none ..i was consumed with getting the money for more..

Id talk about stopping all day long happily drinking...and then the morning..oh the morning....where did all that resolve go.

i have three meetings here in front of me...all in farnborough.

Farnborough Wednesday 2000 British Gurkha Welfare Society, 119 Wren Way 1 GU11
Farnborough Friday 2000 St Marks Hall, Alexandra Road GU11
Farnborough Sunday 2000 Methodist Church, Hawley Lane..

i hope you can get this message...

Keep posting....let us know how your doing....drinking or not.

Remember...it is possible...not easy but possible..

take good care of yourself.........shaun.