I need help, and you all are what I need...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Dixon, Illinois
Posts: 1
Welcome, I extend my hand in a virtual handshake and want you to know you're in the right place if you have the desire to stop drinking, you are not alone. By the grace of what I believe is a power greater than myself and the help of the AA Big Book, sober and recovering members of Alcoholics Anonymous here and elsewhere, I'm clean and sober and can honestly say you can recover from your present condition if you determine you are one of us.
When it comes to the program of Alcoholic Anonymous I can do it now or I can do it if I make it back. It's a big if for me, one I care not to have to wrestle with this 24 hours. You've made it back here so I would very politely but firmly suggest you open your phone book and call Alcoholics Anonymous. It's only too late if you're dead. With prayer & fellowship I wish you the best.
When it comes to the program of Alcoholic Anonymous I can do it now or I can do it if I make it back. It's a big if for me, one I care not to have to wrestle with this 24 hours. You've made it back here so I would very politely but firmly suggest you open your phone book and call Alcoholics Anonymous. It's only too late if you're dead. With prayer & fellowship I wish you the best.
it's a movie, you're the star
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 355
first, welcome back to SR. I've been a lurking poster, also too ashamed and dishonest to completely commit myself to sobriety, yet you had the great idea to come back, so kudos to you.
when you've had enough, you've had enough. maybe consider surrendering? in the military, surrendering means you put down your weapon, sit down, and wait for further instructions. maybe it's time to put down the bottle, sit in a meeting, and wait for further instructions.
i think this is absolutely amazing advice! i'm in the process of doing this, too. Don't feel alone. Try to appreciate the small things and focus on taking care of yourself one day (or hour/minute) at a time.
Rachel
when you've had enough, you've had enough. maybe consider surrendering? in the military, surrendering means you put down your weapon, sit down, and wait for further instructions. maybe it's time to put down the bottle, sit in a meeting, and wait for further instructions.
i think this is absolutely amazing advice! i'm in the process of doing this, too. Don't feel alone. Try to appreciate the small things and focus on taking care of yourself one day (or hour/minute) at a time.
Rachel
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
Ok, I read your story, and most of the responses. I'm stuck on the driving thing too, if you aren't drunk when you're driving... you were sober when the hamburger mutilated in the car? Anyway.. quit that 
It is a choice, and I don't believe when people say it's not. There's no supernatural forces here causing you to drink, you're not a victim. You are strong, and you can make different choices about your drinking, when you're done drinking. I only say this from experience.. and I feel very blessed that I chose sobriety when I did, I wouldn't be married or employed right now if I hadn't.. probably not even alive. My drinking was very very similar to yours, minus the drinking in the car thing.. but the pre-partying, drinking as soon as I got home, before hubby got home so I was buzzed.. on and on. I just stopped, I was done, no drink in this world is worth my life, my love, my financial security. I retired from that career, and now I'm done. I hope you get there soon.
It is a choice, and I don't believe when people say it's not. There's no supernatural forces here causing you to drink, you're not a victim. You are strong, and you can make different choices about your drinking, when you're done drinking. I only say this from experience.. and I feel very blessed that I chose sobriety when I did, I wouldn't be married or employed right now if I hadn't.. probably not even alive. My drinking was very very similar to yours, minus the drinking in the car thing.. but the pre-partying, drinking as soon as I got home, before hubby got home so I was buzzed.. on and on. I just stopped, I was done, no drink in this world is worth my life, my love, my financial security. I retired from that career, and now I'm done. I hope you get there soon.
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
My first experience with AA was back in the fall of 1980, four months after I graduated from high school. I put myself into treatment, not for alcohol, but for drugs. Over the years, I developed a tolerance for alcohol, but it was a love for the feeling it gave me that soon made the taste tolerable.
Between the drugs and alcohol, I spent 25 years in and out of treatment centers, detox, prison twice, more jobs than I can begin to count, two marriages and then two divorces, . . . all the while hanging my head, going to Meetings here and there, thinking that this place is just not for me.
Finally, when I had hit my bottom, when I realized the only thing that was left for me was death, I went back to AA. This time when I walked in, I might as well have just crawled into the door. . . I felt defeated, embarressed, ashamed, some of these people had seen me bounce in and out of the Rooms over the years, they had stayed, worked a Program, did the Steps, grew in the Fellowship. I, on the other hand, kept going back out thinking that sooner or later, I could control my drinking, I thought I was different than the millions of other alcoholics out there. I didn't need AA, these people were nuts. I couldn't understand how spending the first 10 - 12 minutes reading these same things at the beginning of every Meeting was going to help me. How would listening to stories of others drinking and hitting their bottoms help me? I don't need this. . . I just need to be able to control my drinking. I could figure out how to do this thing my way.
That was in July of 2005. I've heard many suggest 90 Meetings in 90 days. . . well, being the type of person who "over does" everything, I went to about 120 Meetings in the first 90 days. Sure, there were days that the last thing I wanted to do was drag myself outside on a horrible, rainy, windy day, stand at a bus stop, take 2 or 3 buses to a Meeting and back. But each time I asked myself, "Did I ever let the weather stop me from drinking?" Nope! So off to the bus I went.
I believe with all of my heart that you know that you are an alcoholic, that you need to go to Meetings, build up relationships with other alcoholics in the Fellowship, work the Steps, get a Sponsor . . . but something inside of you is just trying to convince yourself that you don't. This is your disease trying to keep you safely drinking and destroying hamburgers.
You've given the drinking well over 90 days, give Sobriety and everything that goes with it 90 days . . . I imagine you won't go back to drinking, driving, hiding alcohol all over the house, in the car . . . this life is truly happy, joyous and free.
God Bless,
Judy
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Ok...
Please go to the sticky post at the top of this Forum.
1. Has info on de toxing and some of our experiences
2. Excerpts from the book that convinced me to quit
3. A list of various recovery programs for you to explore.
I'm glad you are staying here with us...we do understand.
Please go to the sticky post at the top of this Forum.
1. Has info on de toxing and some of our experiences
2. Excerpts from the book that convinced me to quit
3. A list of various recovery programs for you to explore.
I'm glad you are staying here with us...we do understand.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
