Time does not heal alcoholism
Computer Surgeon
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 124
Time does not heal alcoholism
I gave the bottle another test after many months of sobriety and guess what guys? I'm still an alcoholic. I blacked out for probably a good 4 hours before passing out. Said a bunch of mean things to my GF that I don't remember...even missed work the next day.
This happened a few weeks ago, but only now have I mustered up the guts to post about it. The scary thing is I only had 4 beers and 1/2 a pint of whiskey.
So whether you're in AA, out of AA, working some other program, or are just a drunk like me who does his own thing... If you're toying with the notion that time somehow heals us: I'm proof that it doesn't.
So I'm back to the sober me. Working out daily, praying, reading, and living life to it's fullest with a BAC of .000.
This happened a few weeks ago, but only now have I mustered up the guts to post about it. The scary thing is I only had 4 beers and 1/2 a pint of whiskey.
So whether you're in AA, out of AA, working some other program, or are just a drunk like me who does his own thing... If you're toying with the notion that time somehow heals us: I'm proof that it doesn't.
So I'm back to the sober me. Working out daily, praying, reading, and living life to it's fullest with a BAC of .000.
Computer Surgeon
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 124
Amen to that. I don't want to say relapsing was good for me, but if I can gain anything out of it, it's a sense of how much I have to lose if I ever go back to that lifestyle.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: here
Posts: 65
I hear you loud and clear.
I stopped drinking for a long time during pregnancy and until my child was a year old.
Once i started again not only was it as though i never stopped it was actually worse than before. Blackouts, behaviour, remorse, self hatred etc.
It makes me wonder if the disease actually keeps progressing even while we are not drinking?
Anyways its been over a month now. But i have played that game many times before of thinking after a period of time i could just have "the one".
Never worked for me. As my old grandad used to say " A bird never flew on one wing". I seemed to be drinking for each feather
:
I stopped drinking for a long time during pregnancy and until my child was a year old.
Once i started again not only was it as though i never stopped it was actually worse than before. Blackouts, behaviour, remorse, self hatred etc.
It makes me wonder if the disease actually keeps progressing even while we are not drinking?
Anyways its been over a month now. But i have played that game many times before of thinking after a period of time i could just have "the one".
Never worked for me. As my old grandad used to say " A bird never flew on one wing". I seemed to be drinking for each feather
:
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 235
So true...I'm always like...WHEN IS IT GOING TO HIT ME? When will I simply just accept the fact that I cannot drink?
It does seem to get worse with each attempt at "controlled drinking." I hope this is my final try too.
It does seem to get worse with each attempt at "controlled drinking." I hope this is my final try too.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Originally Posted by verity29 
It makes me wonder if the disease actually keeps progressing even while we are not drinking?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 617
Sorry for your relapse, thanks for your post. Sometimes I think I would just soon knell over & die than start drinking again. Reading of your experience reminds me that being a drunk is 24/7, sober or not, and that the term "former Alcholic" is a oxymoron if there ever is one.
Good luck my friend, and again, THANKS.
Good luck my friend, and again, THANKS.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Originally Posted by mikefreak
Sometimes I think I would just soon knell over & die than start drinking again.
Computer Surgeon
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 124
It just doesn’t make sense for me to even try to drink! That’s what’s so insane. I went through residential treatment a year ago and completely turned my life around. I was promoted @ work; I’m now in an awesome relationship; financially things are getting sorted; nothing’s wrong. It’s like I wanted to celebrate my sobriety by…DRINKING! What the %&*#? Insanity.
Some of you with experience in competition of some sort might relate to this. I was a scholarship soccer player in college. One of the things that always stuck with me that our coaches drilled into us was to “have a short memory”; that is, forget your mistakes. If you get beat on one play or make a silly mistake on another, forget it. Don’t dwell on it. Well with recovery it doesn’t work that way. At least not for me. If I forget the pain I’m doomed to repeat it again.
I’m feeling good these days I just needed to get this out there to help me remember the pain.
Hope everyone has a great weekend.
Some of you with experience in competition of some sort might relate to this. I was a scholarship soccer player in college. One of the things that always stuck with me that our coaches drilled into us was to “have a short memory”; that is, forget your mistakes. If you get beat on one play or make a silly mistake on another, forget it. Don’t dwell on it. Well with recovery it doesn’t work that way. At least not for me. If I forget the pain I’m doomed to repeat it again.
I’m feeling good these days I just needed to get this out there to help me remember the pain.
Hope everyone has a great weekend.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 652
l thought l could have 3 beers and stop one fine fryday evening a few weeks ago.
It took me 3 weeks and a lot of medical help to stop again.
Can't remember anything after the 2nd beer.
Hope it never happens again.
Wish you wisedom and good luck.
Never take the advice of someone who has not had your kind of trouble.
- Sidney J. Harris. -
It took me 3 weeks and a lot of medical help to stop again.
Can't remember anything after the 2nd beer.
Hope it never happens again.
Wish you wisedom and good luck.
Never take the advice of someone who has not had your kind of trouble.
- Sidney J. Harris. -
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 729
"Instead of that drink just put a gun to my head and pull the trigger, to me it's the same outcome"-Ozzy Ozbourne
It's the only sentence from him that rings true for me and that I understood without replaying the clip 400000 times.
It's the only sentence from him that rings true for me and that I understood without replaying the clip 400000 times.
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