routine...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 14
routine...
i told myself i wouldn't drink...and sure as **** i did....how do you get past that...i posted earlier and i really felt like I wouldn't drink tonight..but then some **** came up personally where I ****** over a friend a while back, and i decided i wanted to drink so I wouldn't care...
now what? i hate drniking to deal with my problems...but it seems like the only way to cope and sleep any more.
now what? i hate drniking to deal with my problems...but it seems like the only way to cope and sleep any more.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: East Bay, California
Posts: 22
Keep things in perspective. Keep trying. You will not always succeed. Quitting the drink is just as much about routine as succombing to it. Just promise yourself you'll do better in time. Relapses are natural. But you're commitment to stopping will always overcome in time. Good luck.
I'm just a little unwell
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,219
Well, the first step to not drinking is to not take that first drink. The hard part is figuring out how to do that. As you said, you wanted to drink so that you wouldn't care, to take your mind off what was going on.
So you have to find new ways to do that. Start by changing your routine, especially where drinking is concerned. If you drank at home, make yourself get out of the house at your normal drinking time. If you drank at bars/restaurants, avoid them for a while - stay home instead. Go to the gym. Take a walk. Read a book. Take a long shower or bath. Call a friend. Play a video game. SOMETHING. ANYthing, just don't pick up that first drink.
Coming here and reading or posting when you think about drinking really helps a lot, too.
Good luck.
So you have to find new ways to do that. Start by changing your routine, especially where drinking is concerned. If you drank at home, make yourself get out of the house at your normal drinking time. If you drank at bars/restaurants, avoid them for a while - stay home instead. Go to the gym. Take a walk. Read a book. Take a long shower or bath. Call a friend. Play a video game. SOMETHING. ANYthing, just don't pick up that first drink.
Coming here and reading or posting when you think about drinking really helps a lot, too.
Good luck.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Many of us had false starts before we finally quit drinking.
I had to change a lot of things to protect my early sobriety.
Action...
for me that meant a daily AA meeting before work.
I declared my apartment an alcohol free zone
I did not accept invitations from drinking friends.
I quit my stressful job...took an office position ..less money no stress.
Yes...you too can take action and stop drinking...
Hope you will because recovery really rocks!
I had to change a lot of things to protect my early sobriety.
Action...
for me that meant a daily AA meeting before work.
I declared my apartment an alcohol free zone
I did not accept invitations from drinking friends.
I quit my stressful job...took an office position ..less money no stress.
Yes...you too can take action and stop drinking...
Hope you will because recovery really rocks!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
I had to go to a counselor and get on antabuse and anti depressants to give me a head start! Still doing counselor, stopped antabuse, and coming off anti depressants now. It's given me 5 months of sobriety when i could not do 1 day last year. AA is excellent too!
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
This might sound blunt but.. did it solve the problem?
I bet not. I think for those of us who don't drink anymore, it's been a hard road to find some other way to cope with life.. life still happens, and as bad as it's been before, it could likely get that way again, and we just need new ways to deal with it. Sometimes when I'm pissed off, sad, whatever.. times I would have drank, I just push through it, it's so much better to actually feel emotions than to numb them, in the end. I had a rough time with this, I could find plenty to do to fill my time, but when it came to the emotional piece I can be a wreck, but I just don't drink. Sounds simple.. but it works!
I also see a counselor 2x a week, for the record. I couldn't do this without support, and I don't know anyone personally who has.
I bet not. I think for those of us who don't drink anymore, it's been a hard road to find some other way to cope with life.. life still happens, and as bad as it's been before, it could likely get that way again, and we just need new ways to deal with it. Sometimes when I'm pissed off, sad, whatever.. times I would have drank, I just push through it, it's so much better to actually feel emotions than to numb them, in the end. I had a rough time with this, I could find plenty to do to fill my time, but when it came to the emotional piece I can be a wreck, but I just don't drink. Sounds simple.. but it works!
I also see a counselor 2x a week, for the record. I couldn't do this without support, and I don't know anyone personally who has.
Retired Pro Drunk
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Saint Paul, MN
Posts: 901
Early recovery is sooooo tough! Putting together 30 days straight was something I couldn't do by myself and I had to hire professional help (read: check into rehab).
Do you have alcohol in the house? It helps me at night when there's nothing readily available. There have been times when if I had something to drink right there, I probably would have. But I didn't, so I didn't.
And sometimes I just had to gut it out. Not the best way to go maybe, but it worked. Those first several nights are ugly and uncomfortable. Whatever it takes, deal with it in any way you can.
Do you have alcohol in the house? It helps me at night when there's nothing readily available. There have been times when if I had something to drink right there, I probably would have. But I didn't, so I didn't.
And sometimes I just had to gut it out. Not the best way to go maybe, but it worked. Those first several nights are ugly and uncomfortable. Whatever it takes, deal with it in any way you can.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Michigan
Posts: 758
petiot I can totally understand your feelings about it, as I'm sure everyone else here does as well. I don't have the right answer for you, or I wouldn't be having the same issues myself, but I can tell you about what I did last week real quick and maybe you can take something helpful from that.
I found this site back in Jan and I made a real effort to stop drinking again. And I did pretty good for about 42-43 days. Then a couple weeks ago I went through some real hard things to deal with. My uncle passed away, best friend was told he has MS, another friend went in the hospital for heart problems, and a few other things which were really taxing on my mind. I fought the urge hard for a week or so and then last week I gave in and drank to numb the emotions. I drank hard trying to kill the feelings with over a fifth a day for about 3 days in a row. After those three days were over guess what......My uncle was still gone and my friends were still sick, and on top of all that I felt terriable about myself for drinking and put myself mentally and physically right back to where I was back in January.
In other words all that going back to drinking did for me was create more problems on top of the problems I already was dealing with. Trust me I'm not someone whom should be trying to give any advice right now, but hopefully you can understand why I'm telling you this and maybe take something useful from it that will help you get through today without drinking. Then when tomorrow gets here deal with tomorrow at that point.
Hang in there. We're all going through the same thing and letting your feelings out goes a long way to understanding them and dealing with them.
Steve
I found this site back in Jan and I made a real effort to stop drinking again. And I did pretty good for about 42-43 days. Then a couple weeks ago I went through some real hard things to deal with. My uncle passed away, best friend was told he has MS, another friend went in the hospital for heart problems, and a few other things which were really taxing on my mind. I fought the urge hard for a week or so and then last week I gave in and drank to numb the emotions. I drank hard trying to kill the feelings with over a fifth a day for about 3 days in a row. After those three days were over guess what......My uncle was still gone and my friends were still sick, and on top of all that I felt terriable about myself for drinking and put myself mentally and physically right back to where I was back in January.
In other words all that going back to drinking did for me was create more problems on top of the problems I already was dealing with. Trust me I'm not someone whom should be trying to give any advice right now, but hopefully you can understand why I'm telling you this and maybe take something useful from it that will help you get through today without drinking. Then when tomorrow gets here deal with tomorrow at that point.
Hang in there. We're all going through the same thing and letting your feelings out goes a long way to understanding them and dealing with them.
Steve
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Fort Worth
Posts: 7
Originally Posted by CarolD 
Many of us had false starts before we finally quit drinking.
I had to change a lot of things to protect my early sobriety.
Action...
for me that meant a daily AA meeting before work.
I declared my apartment an alcohol free zone
I did not accept invitations from drinking friends.
I quit my stressful job...took an office position ..less money no stress.
Yes...you too can take action and stop drinking...
Hope you will because recovery really rocks!
I had to change a lot of things to protect my early sobriety.
Action...
for me that meant a daily AA meeting before work.
I declared my apartment an alcohol free zone
I did not accept invitations from drinking friends.
I quit my stressful job...took an office position ..less money no stress.
Yes...you too can take action and stop drinking...
Hope you will because recovery really rocks!
anyways
Carol thats the hardest thing for me. Turning down invites from friends. Its so hard to just stop answering the phone when you were known as the party animal. Even when i do go out and say im not gonna do drugs its so hard because all of my friends do them too. It hurts me to think that i have to find myself a new group of friends.
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
Originally Posted by Tidd
Turning down invites from friends. Its so hard to just stop answering the phone when you were known as the party animal. Even when i do go out and say im not gonna do drugs its so hard because all of my friends do them too. It hurts me to think that i have to find myself a new group of friends.
I had to end some of my friendships.
It was one of those difficult (and painful) choices I had to make. I could not quit drinking and hang around with hard core drinkers at the same time. For me, it would have been impossible. I had to accept this reality.
I strengthened my relationships with my friends and family members who do not abuse alcohol and made new friends in AA.
Took time but it was necessary - and my sobriety is worth it. It's all a part of recovery - making those tough decisions.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Fort Worth
Posts: 7
Originally Posted by gravity
Welcome Tidd!
I had to end some of my friendships.
It was one of those difficult (and painful) choices I had to make. I could not quit drinking and hang around with hard core drinkers at the same time. For me, it would have been impossible. I had to accept this reality.
I strengthened my relationships with my friends and family members who do not abuse alcohol and made new friends in AA.
Took time but it was necessary - and my sobriety is worth it. It's all a part of recovery - making those tough decisions.
I had to end some of my friendships.
It was one of those difficult (and painful) choices I had to make. I could not quit drinking and hang around with hard core drinkers at the same time. For me, it would have been impossible. I had to accept this reality.
I strengthened my relationships with my friends and family members who do not abuse alcohol and made new friends in AA.
Took time but it was necessary - and my sobriety is worth it. It's all a part of recovery - making those tough decisions.
I want to get my self together and then hopefully help my friends too but at the same time i dont want to be judgmental. To each its own you know?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 196
Originally Posted by petiot
i told myself i wouldn't drink...and sure as **** i did....how do you get past that...i posted earlier and i really felt like I wouldn't drink tonight..but then some **** came up personally where I ****** over a friend a while back, and i decided i wanted to drink so I wouldn't care...
now what? i hate drniking to deal with my problems...but it seems like the only way to cope and sleep any more.
now what? i hate drniking to deal with my problems...but it seems like the only way to cope and sleep any more.
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