i am powerless over alcohol
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Join Date: Jan 2009
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i am powerless over alcohol
i was in and out of A.A. for years.. it took me a long time to finally be comfortable with accepting that i am 100% powerless over booze and drugs.. for me and many of my A.A. friends this simple statement has brought peace.. i ask each morning in prayer for another 24 hours of sobriety.. so far it has worked every time!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,777
I too am powerless over alcohol. And if I let it have power over me again it will do more damage than it's already done. I don't want to go down that road again, too much misery and pain.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
It took me years and years to figure that out!
I never understood that it was the first drink that got me drunk, not the 5th or the 10th!
I finally figured out that once I took that first drink I immediately had no idea if I was going to have 2 drinks, 10, or 20. I had no power over alcohol once I put it in me.
Heck I reached a point where I could not bring up with sufficiant power the ability to remember why I should not drink because of the last time I drank. Alcohol had such a pull on me that even though I had gotten drunk thousands of times before I could always think "It will be different this time!"
Alcohol took me to the point where if I did not have enough money to buy my beer and milk for the family, I would put the milk back and have my wife get the milk claiming I had forgot the milk!
I never understood that it was the first drink that got me drunk, not the 5th or the 10th!
I finally figured out that once I took that first drink I immediately had no idea if I was going to have 2 drinks, 10, or 20. I had no power over alcohol once I put it in me.
Heck I reached a point where I could not bring up with sufficiant power the ability to remember why I should not drink because of the last time I drank. Alcohol had such a pull on me that even though I had gotten drunk thousands of times before I could always think "It will be different this time!"
Alcohol took me to the point where if I did not have enough money to buy my beer and milk for the family, I would put the milk back and have my wife get the milk claiming I had forgot the milk!
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
When I'm drinking, correct. However, I have been the one with the power since the last time I drank. I decide not to, that is in my control, and it's a very powerFUL feeling!
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Tejas
Posts: 192
I agree flutter. After spending an hour and a half at an open bar last week and not drinking, I'm pretty sure I'm not completely powerless. I can say no to that first drink. That way, there is never a second...much less a 20th. 
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
My own experience:
The physical craving: after a drink or two, I could not guarantee how much and for how long I would keep drinking. At the end, 48 to 72 hour benders were the norm.
The mental obsession: Despite years of progressively worse blackout drinking, after each horrible bender I would eventually convince myself that “this time would be different.”
Many times, I was able to resist the temptation to start drinking, usually because the fear & remorse of my last bender were still vivid. This illusion fuelled the fantasy that I could control alcohol. I could go many days without thinking about drinking. I could refuse a drink and I didn’t think about it all the time – how could I be obsessed?
Yet when I look back at my drinking history, it’s so obvious – no sane person would drink again after those experiences. Yet I did – over and over, year after year. If I were in control, I would have quit years ago.
I am so fortunate that I accepted that I am powerless over alcohol and that I reached out for help when I did. I could easily see my drinking progressing beyond 3 day benders and to the point where the mental obsession is 24/7 and completely overwhelming. God, what kind of life would I be living today?
The physical craving: after a drink or two, I could not guarantee how much and for how long I would keep drinking. At the end, 48 to 72 hour benders were the norm.
The mental obsession: Despite years of progressively worse blackout drinking, after each horrible bender I would eventually convince myself that “this time would be different.”
Many times, I was able to resist the temptation to start drinking, usually because the fear & remorse of my last bender were still vivid. This illusion fuelled the fantasy that I could control alcohol. I could go many days without thinking about drinking. I could refuse a drink and I didn’t think about it all the time – how could I be obsessed?
Yet when I look back at my drinking history, it’s so obvious – no sane person would drink again after those experiences. Yet I did – over and over, year after year. If I were in control, I would have quit years ago.
I am so fortunate that I accepted that I am powerless over alcohol and that I reached out for help when I did. I could easily see my drinking progressing beyond 3 day benders and to the point where the mental obsession is 24/7 and completely overwhelming. God, what kind of life would I be living today?
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 812
I speak only for myself, but I remember very clearly at the end of my drinking that I would honestly not want to drink but I would drink anyway. The obsession to drink had become something I just couldn't fight anymore. It felt like my brain was on fire and booze was the only thing that would put it out. It literally exhausted me mentally, physically, and emotionally. Whenever the thought of picking up a drink crosses my mind now, I just think about having the obsession again (because I learned the hard way that it comes back) and the utter torture of not wanting to drink while having the obsession to drink.
I have thoughts about drinking now, but not the obsession. The obsession left me after 6 weeks or so--maybe when the booze finally gets out of the system? I don't know. I've heard others say they had the obsession for years, and still more who say it was gone after a day or a week. Guess it's different for everyone.
I have thoughts about drinking now, but not the obsession. The obsession left me after 6 weeks or so--maybe when the booze finally gets out of the system? I don't know. I've heard others say they had the obsession for years, and still more who say it was gone after a day or a week. Guess it's different for everyone.
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,876
I agree with you page...my drinking at the end was pure torture...hard to believe sometimes what I had done to myself. In a moment of clarity I realized that my self-induced hell was entirely within my control to change so I changed....powerlessness was just an illusion.
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Originally Posted by doorknob 
If my powerlessness over alcohol was absolute, I'd have a beer in my hand. 
I respect your views but just because you are sober now does not mean you are not powerless. My powerlessness manifests itself when I take the first drink.
If I continue to avoid that first drink, then one might say I have power over alcohol, but I don't see it that way. I think alcoholics with 10, 20, 30 or more years without a drink are just as powerless as me or as the most hungover newcomer.
With all respect,
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 812
I know this isn't the 12 step forum, but since we're talking about powerlessness, which is clearly a prerequisite for AA, the first step states:
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.
Nowhere does this step say that as a sober/recovering alcoholic that we are still powerless over alcohol. It says we were powerless.
When I am drinking, or when I am in the "cycle" of my drinking, yes, I'm powerless. I take a drink and lose the ability to stop or moderate. However, when I make a conscious decision to stop drinking, and I put some action behind that decision (whatever my plan of recovery may be), and I am no longer drunk or in withdrawal, my power to choose is restored. I only speak from my own experience, but when I'm in withdrawals, I'm also powerless because I'm not sane (and anyone who has had DT's knows what I am talking about).
Now, I have read some studies that withdrawals can last for weeks. This may be why so many relapse in those first few weeks. Alcohol effects brain chemistry, which means it effects thoughts and the ability to make decisions. If my decision making ability is off-kilter, than I would have to say my ability to make choices is also at a disadvantage.
But after having been sober for several months now, it is my choice to drink. As long as I don't pick up and start that cycle all over again, I am not "powerless."
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.
Nowhere does this step say that as a sober/recovering alcoholic that we are still powerless over alcohol. It says we were powerless.
When I am drinking, or when I am in the "cycle" of my drinking, yes, I'm powerless. I take a drink and lose the ability to stop or moderate. However, when I make a conscious decision to stop drinking, and I put some action behind that decision (whatever my plan of recovery may be), and I am no longer drunk or in withdrawal, my power to choose is restored. I only speak from my own experience, but when I'm in withdrawals, I'm also powerless because I'm not sane (and anyone who has had DT's knows what I am talking about).
Now, I have read some studies that withdrawals can last for weeks. This may be why so many relapse in those first few weeks. Alcohol effects brain chemistry, which means it effects thoughts and the ability to make decisions. If my decision making ability is off-kilter, than I would have to say my ability to make choices is also at a disadvantage.
But after having been sober for several months now, it is my choice to drink. As long as I don't pick up and start that cycle all over again, I am not "powerless."
Knucklehead
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Davenport, WA
Posts: 4,005
Originally Posted by dgillz
I respect your views but just because you are sober now does not mean you are not powerless. My powerlessness manifests itself when I take the first drink.
If I continue to avoid that first drink, then one might say I have power over alcohol, but I don't see it that way. I think alcoholics with 10, 20, 30 or more years without a drink are just as powerless as me or as the most hungover newcomer.
If I continue to avoid that first drink, then one might say I have power over alcohol, but I don't see it that way. I think alcoholics with 10, 20, 30 or more years without a drink are just as powerless as me or as the most hungover newcomer.
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Living in Today!
Posts: 3,945
thank you everyone.. alcoholism is progressive as i continued to drink year after year.. it got worse. i started drinking much more whiskey the last few years. it took me about 18 years to get there and i never want to go back!
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
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SR doesn't view addicted individuals as helpless or powerless in the face of their addiction. Unless they're physically tied down and then intoxicated by force, it's precisely their power, more specifically the power of their beliefs, ideas, and commands to themselves, which starts them using, gets them addicted, and maintains their habit.
Source: SMART Recovery
Source: SMART Recovery
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