gravity

Your experience will serve you and others well.

In addition to my sober time, I have found that there is great value in my last, horrific bender (it likely doesn't feel like this for you right now). It revealed the truth: I am an alcoholic and alcoholism is progressive in nature. I share about it in meetings: what it was like, how it finally gave me my step 1, how I am no different than others in the room. It has also served to help the oldtimers (they told me): brings them back to their first day sober, reinforces how critical it is to not get complacent.

Be strong, my friend. I am so happy that you are getting help, the same kind of help I am getting.

Dean62

Insanity comes, Insanity goes, what you gonna do about it that's what I want know.
--------------------
For this sick mofo:
--------------------

Here he comes

Walking down the street

Gettin Funny looks from

everyone he meets

Hey Hey he's a thumper

Gonna thump Deano down

He's old shcool generation

Gonna take Deano to town
-----------------------------

I pray that I may accept God's will through you Pete.

Lets do this thing.

Astro

Here's another tune for ya Larry..... YouTube - Gettin' Better (Mechanical Resonance 1986 Geffen)

Dean62

Thank you for the song and thank you for hanging in here with me Scott. I haven't asked anything from you and yet here you are. You know I first posted this thread because I didn't really think I would drink. Then I continued because I thought I would show everyone what a great strong man I am. I did stop for 3 days. So you see I am a great strong man. 3 days worth

Now I am posting because........This is a serious situation. I see myself going crazy. Can you see it? I hope this thread doesn't turn out bad. I had an idea if it does that might help someone but that isn't really what I want. I did find something worth staying here on earth for. I actually found it inside of me. Not me being big hero man. It was just there. It doesn't belong to me. I wonder if this is the tiny reed.

I had gone to my Doctor to get some help to stop. I lost them, it's like trying to find a lighter. I know I can't just cold turkey but I don't want to run up another huge bill just when I finally got out from under all of that with this wonderful economy.

I have no idea what is about to happen.

Astro

I don't see you going crazy Larry, I see the disease at work in an alcoholic. We help people by leading with our example, with our strength in recovery. You have that strength, you're using it here every time you post.

I've been sharing alot lately about an experience I had in early recovery, maybe my HP wants me to keep sharing about this, there must be a lesson in it somewhere.

After a week of sobriety I was having so much anxiety that I hadn't been able to sleep the entire time, I too thought I was going crazy and wanted life to end. So I checked into the emergency room with suicidal ideations, from there I took an ambulance ride to Desert Vista Maricopa Integrated Health System - Facilities They were out of beds in their substance abuse ward, so I spent a few days with the "mildly insane", and I felt right at home with them. I was evaluated, poked, prodded, medicated, & tested. I went to recovery meetings there too. It was a great experience, but I begged them to release me because I couldn't stand being away from my children.

I was walked out of that hospital by a male nurse who'd been sober for quite some time. He got to fill me in on the bad news, my diagnosis......I was an alcoholic, and what he suggested were meetings, sponsorship, the 12 Steps. He told me to come back after a year of sobriety to let him know how I was doing.

I still need to go back and thank that man, his name is Steve. His advice saved my life. It's been over 4 years since I left that place.

I don't know what's about to happen to you either Larry, but you won't ring up a huge bill going to AA meetings, just put a buck in the basket if you can afford it. Please seek medical help if you need it, but remember that having an HP and working a 12-Step program isn't going cold turkey.

Dean62

Well It is the day. I'm not even close to ready.

Thy will be done.

RufusACanal

Larry, I was never close to being ready, but I had to make the decision that I had all of the booze I would ever need. So can you...

Julesy

Dean,

The love and support shown here for you is incredible. You cannot let the side down. Pour that toxic "s--t" down the drain. You think you feel bad now? You'll feel ten times worse if you open that bottle. I'm so sorry that the issues you face in life are so unbearable, but drinking won't make them go away. You have given so much support to others you must not undo that now in one rash moment. Please, please don't do it.

Dean62

Thanks Ron

Half an hour.

withdawls are big, just want to drink
x

Dean62

I called 3 times and left left messages. Guess I will go on with blan B.

Um.........didn't have a plan B.

I guess I wll go to a meeting. What day is it? Guess that is not important. They have meetings at the clubs

Astro

Meetings are good Larry, please use them for support. If you can, reach out for more phone numbers. Never hurts to have some backups when people aren't answering.

coffeenut

Hey, Dean....just checking in to see how you are doing.

gravity

Hi Larry,

As tough as it gets, know that you are loved.

I have faith that you will get through this.

Be safe.

Don

littlebrr

Hi Larry,

I wanted you to know that I've been praying for you and you're in my thoughts. Stay strong! You CAN do this. YOU CAN! I hope you find some inner peace during this tough journey.

Peace, love and HUGS!

Britt

Astro

TGIF Larry! I love Fridays, it's good to be with people in recovery in the afternoon, rather than Happy Hour somewhere!

Dean62

I called Pete3 times. Then I called my sponsor twice, no aswers

I am taking the next wave. oh no here it comes.good bye.

thank you lord.

Rob B

Try calling God, his phone is never busy.

DaveBB164

God is always on call our sponsors and AA buddies sleep and have other lives, it makes sense to place our reliance upon God, like Rob said he is always available.

Dean62

Ok Rob

GrouchoTheCat

Hi Larry,

I have not posted here in quite a while. I have been somewhat restless and dis-contented and generally emotionally ill-at-ease. I have arranged to meet with my sponsor in two days, and I'm pretty sure I'll be ok. Yes, I have been entertaining the idea of a drink.

I have read this entire thread very carefully and it hits me emotionally like a freight train.

You see, I am still thinking that I just might give in, that it won't be too bad, etc, etc, etc.

I do remember my last drunk rather well and I don't ever want to go back there but my ego tells me it just might be different this time... I know deep down that this is a lie, but it is one I seem to want to believe.

I just want you to know Larry, that I feel deeply for you, and I will pray for you.

I can only hope that you will become well again.

One thing that I wish to say is, yeah, I'm not in a great space right now but please don't reply to my issues here. I do not want this thread to become de-railed.

Larry, I don't know you but I love you like a brother.

Hang in there my friend. You are NOT alone!

Ted