Astro

BTW Larry, that Montego Bay rum sounds really, really, really delicious. But the consequences of drinking it would suck for me. After 4 years sober, the last thing I want is to die an alcoholic death. My life's much better than that, my kids, fiance, family, and friends deserve more than that. Think about how this affects other people too, OK?

Dean62

This was supposed to show everyone how strong I am against all odds.

Odds won.

The few of you I tryed to help please accept the message.

I believe the harder I hit the bottom the better my chances are of seeing. I think now it is possible there is no bottom. They were right. It does get worse.

This s h i t is real.

bugsworth

Dean...it's not to late to turn this around...please do not give up on yourself.

Lenina

Dean,

I'm glad to see you back!

Love,

Lenina

least

:ghug3

DaveBB164

Sysiphus was a king punished in Tartarus by being cursed to roll a huge boulder up a hill, only to watch it roll down again, and to repeat this throughout eternity,
each day he struggled and fought and scraped to push the boulder up the hill, each night while he slept it rolled back down, next morning he would get up and have to start his unending, unrewarding, painful task, pushing it up the hill one miserable day at a time,

thats what my sobriety was like, fighting the obsession and wrestling the malady one miserable day at a time in my pointless life until the inevitable happened,

but its not like that today, I am a free man I can go any where I want to go free from my alcoholic mind, I live my life one day at a time but I don't not drink one day at a time, the problem for me was removed, I don't suffer anymore,

you don't have to suffer either Dean, it does not have to be the way it is for you, there is a solution

if I can be of service to you please ask.

Dave

Dee74

Im gonna call you Larry from here on.

Larry I really believe we can decide our bottom.
Do what you did last time Larry - stop drinking. Now.

Like someone else said I think there's more than alcoholism going on here mate.
You sound at the end of your tether.

Go get some help.

There is a way out. A better way. We're all testament to that.
It's not rocket science, and it's open to absolutely everyone.

First step is to put down the bottle. The second step is to reach out.

Good luck
D

suki44883

I also believe it's more than just alcohol. It's just something I sensed about you. You seemed so happy when we'd post old you tube songs. That's the most animated I'd ever seen you. The rest of the time, you were mostly quiet. It hurts me to think of you being unhappy. I hope you will find the desire to stop drinking and then do whatever it is you need to do to find happiness in your life. My thoughts are with you, Larry, and I truly mean that.

vegibean

Dean, I'm so sorry. Thank you for sharing and I will be thinking of you. I do hope that this means you will not leave here. I think you still deserve support if that is what you still desire. Tons of hugs and the very best wishes-Caitlin xo

SteveK

If you came here and drank, I suggest you try something different, because it didn't work for you....

Amazonqueen522

Dean,

Reach for my hand I want to help pick you up, I will be here waiting on your return,

God Bless you my friend,

we are all thinking about you......................

chris1959

Hey Larry,
You can have my old spot under the bridge, I cleaned it up before I left.

suki44883

Steve and Chris... I'm sure you mean well, but, in my opinion, that was uncalled for. Dean has been a member here a long time and has helped many, many people.

gravity

You don't really believe this do you? Isn't it about living life on life's terms without drinking? Nothing to do with shows of strength or hitting bottom as hard as we can.

I don’t know if you have stopped drinking yet. If you have, I believe that you know what you have to do. You have helped many people over the past year including me. It’s time to walk the walk.

If you’re not done drinking yet, I understand that too. Nobody can tell you what to do (been there way too many times) and it’s something that will just take its predictable course. But the sooner you stop, the “easier” it will be…for everyone.

There are people everywhere ready to help you…just like you helped them. Do what you gotta do.

Just like me, Larry. Some things we just have to find out for ourselves. My last bender convinced me, without any doubt, that I am an alcoholic. Fact: Alcoholism is progressive in nature. I’m done with that s h i t.

We are all in this together. If there is anyway I can help you as a friend or an AA member, let me know. There are some good people on this site and in the AA program.

My sincere best and take good care of yourself.

Don

chris1959

I've been around a long time and have lost many people to drugs and alcohol.
It's always sad but it's always gonna' happen. I'm very careful about giving advice or saying anything that isn't a direct quote from the big book or from the bible. Pg. 35-BB, "All went well for a time, but he failed to enlarge his spiritual life."

Dee74

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” Dalai Lama.

Amazing what you get from books
D

FightingIrish

I love this old Detroit manual:

Why Does An Alcoholic Drink?

Having decided that we are alcoholics, it is well to consider what competent mental doctors consider as the reasons why an alcoholic drinks:

• As an escape from situations of life which he cannot face.
• As evidence of a maladjusted personality (including sexual maladjustments).
• As a development from social drinking to pathological drinking.
• As a symptom of a major abnormal mental state.
• As an escape from incurable physical pain.
• As a symptom of constitutional inferiority - - a psychopathic personality.

For example, an individual who drinks because he likes alcohol, knows he cannot handle it, but does not care. [This was me for about five years.]

Many times one cannot determine any great and glaring mechanism as the basis of why the drinker drinks, but the revealing fact may be elicited:

That alcohol is taken to relieve a certain vague restlessness in the individual, incident to friction between his biological and emotional makeup and the ordinary strains of life.

The above reasons are general reasons. Where the individuality or personality of the alcoholic is concerned these reasons may be divided as follows:

• A self-pampering tendency which manifests itself in refusal to tolerate, even temporarily, unpleasant states of mind such as boredom, sorrow, anger, disappointment, worry, depression, dissatisfaction, and feelings of inferiority and inadequacy."I want what I want when I want it" seems to express the attitude of many alcoholics toward life. [Me again...hate to work for things.]
• An instinctive urge for self-expression, unaccompanied by determination to translate the urge into creative action.
• An abnormal craving for emotional experience which calls for removal of intellectual restraint.
• Powerful hidden ambitions, without the necessary resolve to take practical steps to attain them, and with resultant discontent, irritability, depression, disgruntledness, and general restlessness.
• A tendency to flinch from the worries of life and to seek escape from reality by the easiest means available.
• An unreasonable demand for continuous happiness or excitement.
• An insistent craving for the feeling of self-confidence, calm, and poise that some obtain temporarily from alcohol.

We Admit

If after carefully considering the foregoing, we admit we are alcoholics, we must realize that, once a person becomes a pathological drinker, he can never again become a controlled drinker, and from that point on, is limited to just two alternatives:

• Total permanent abstinence.
• Chronic alcoholism with all of the handicaps and penalties it implies.

In other words, we have gone past the point where we had a choice. All we have left is a decision to make.

We Resolve to Do Something About It

• We must change our way of thinking. (This is such an important matter that it will have to be discussed more fully in a later discussion).
• We must realize that each morning when we wake, we are potential drunkards for that day.
• We resolve that we will practice A.A. for the 24 hours of that day.
• We must study the other eleven steps of the program and practice each and every one.
• Attend the regular group meeting each week without fail.
• Firmly believe that by practicing A.A. faithfully each day, we will achieve sobriety.
• Believe that we can be free from alcohol as a problem.
• Contact another member before taking a drink, not after. Tell him what bothers you - - talk it over with him freely.
• Work the program for ourselves alone - - not for our wife, children, friends, or for our job.
• Be absolutely honest and sincere.
• Be fully openminded - - no mental reservations.
• Be fully willing to work the program. Nothing good in life comes without work.

Conclusion

Alcoholics are suffering from a threefold disease, not only a physical illness. Fortunately, we in A.A. have learned how it may be controlled. (This will be shown in the next eleven steps of the program.)
We can also learn to be free from alcohol as a problem.
We can achieve a full and happy life without recourse to alcohol.

CarolD

Dean....
please stay as safe as possible and quit again quickly.
(+) (+) (+)
Hugs and Prayers

Photonic

Hey Dean, Pick yourself up and dust yourself off and get going again. It happens to the best of us. And before we talk about leaving spots vacant and such, it is always careful to talk about such things, any of us can end up there.

tellus

((((Dean))))