Zencat

I'm like that myself. I know there were time in my addiction where my tissue dependence to substances made it extremely hard to choose not to use. However it wasn't until my suffering became far greater when using than the horrid withdraws of not picking that first drink.

Helping myself is it...More appropriately,when I sought help for myself...that is when change became possible for me.

kurtrambis

Agree. Its shocking to think a shrink in this day and age has such a poor understanding of the many treatments available for alcoholism.
I know it probably doesn't fall under negligence but its not far off in my opinion, especially for such a well paid responsible job.

flutter

That's interesting about the shrink..while my counselor would "support" my choice of AA if that's what I wanted, he certainly doesn't encourage it by any means. In fact the first book he threw at me was "How to Quit Drinking Without AA", (which in my mind after reading it just tells you to quit drinking, find new activities, review your excuses to drink, reasons to quit, and just don't drink.. very surface, not in depth). AA wasn't my choice, for many reasons. Carol is right though, if you don't want to stop drinking there's not a program that WILL work, it's most based on what you put into it, WAY more. I just couldn't put much into it when I tried AA, didn't want to, but found what works for me, and my 'work' part is 99% of it. AA works for some, and I'm very glad it does.

jimhere

Hey,

The new mind is something I was promised. When "being restored to sanity" is mentioned, they are talking about not having to think about drinking and not having to think about not drinking. So sanity is a relative thing. In this sense, it is in regards to alcohol.

For me it happened at about six months sober. For the first six months I was sober I fought taking a drink every waking moment. The old see-saw thinking was going on "Drink!" "No don't drink!" Thinking about not drinking is as much an obsession with alcohol as is thinking about drinking. It is a battle I can't win and what happened is I gave up the fight. I simply said "Help! I can't do this alone." I haven't had to fight that fight since. It took me a while to realize that, though.

One day I was sitting at home with no TV or radio going and I realized that my mind was quiet and I had not thought about drinking in a long time.
Peace,
Jim

Roadhunter

Turns out the SMART meetings are full. The company that started the program here works with felony offenders who want an alternative to AA, and they have over 1,000, so no room for the general public.

Roadhunter

Now here's a weird one. The SMART Recovery woman here in town just informed me my dad used to be the head of this program when he was a Probation and Parole Officer. He drinks more beer than I do, and always has. Oh, the irony!

VeritasAequitas

I wanted so badly for AA to help me...I tried at least a dozen AA meetings and a few NA meetings. The meetings were such a trigger for me too. I met some very nice people but I couldn't stand listening to the, "but I didn't drink" over and over.

It's bad enough that alcoholic thoughts are knocking on my front door I don't need a party of folks breaking the door down.

kurtrambis

I don't know your circumstances or anything about you but group meetings with other alcoholics in the end isn't essential for recovery, so if you can't find one so don't despair. Although keep looking

Come on here share your pain, get support from fellow addicts
Read books on overcoming addictions.
Look at life in general, where it needs improving. Getting a hobby, voluntary work might help overall and can offer the same kind of things that people get out of group meetings, such as socialising, helping others.

Be positive. It maybe difficult at first but the world is your oyster when you put down the drink.

TigerLili

I had the same experience when I first came into AA. All the talk of drinking made me want to drink and on a few occasions I did in fact drive straight to the liquor store then sit in my car and cry while I drank a few before I could even get out of my car and into my house!

However, it passed. We have a disease that is cunning, baffling and powerful and will do ANYTHING to get us to drink. For me, it can control what I hear, like it did in these first few months of meetings.

I listened to older sober members who told me to share about how I was feeling, so in those meetings where I wanted to drink, I would say so. They told me never to keep my feelings about wanting to drink to myself, and that early meetings made them want to drink too. I told anyone who would listen that I was new and struggling not to drink. It really helped. There's more to AA than just going to meetings. Talking to other alcoholics is really important. That's why we're all here on SR! If you decide to give AA another go, try getting a sponsor (some meetings offer 'temporary sponsorship' for new people) and starting on the program and getting a few phone numbers. Having people to talk to is the ingredient that makes it work, IMO. I wouldn't still be going if I just went to meetings.

The urge to drink because of what I was hearing really did pass. Sometimes when people share what they drank or make something sound particularly appealing, yeah, I want to pick up. For me the answer is to tell someone that I'm feeling that way.

Give AA a shot. Go to diffrent types of meetings, try and talk to people and share how you are feeling. Chances are, almost everyone will feel exactly the same way. Tell people you are new and struggling.

I've been sober four months I go to AA because I need to, not because I want to. One day I am sure I'll be there because I want to be. It It's the only thing that helped me not pick up despite a somewhat shaky start with the cravings getting triggered. It does pass. I know other things work for people too so don't give up and you'll find something that works.

bob_sapp

if a meeting usually has people telling war stories, going on long-winded self-pity trips, or discussing the same outside issues every week, then I avoid it. Yes I have left meetings wanting to drink too... There are good meetings out there though, it just takes awhile to find out which ones are. Picking and choosing your meetings is part of growing in sobriety and being healthy. "Stick with the winners" as they say. Don't get down on AA, you're going to find these people everywhere, it's part of the condition of addiction.

DaveBB164

Try and find a solution based meeting, I go to Big Book meetings in my area but occasionally attend a discussion meeting where they just talk about war stories and what a bad day they are having,

I know how to drink thats how I ended up in AA, what I needed was a solution to my problem,

meetings are important but they are not an effective means of maintaining sobriety,

Finding and having a relationship with the God of my understanding through the 12 steps of AA is,

if I have an alcoholic mind it does not matter how many or what type of meeting I attend the day will come when I drink,

I had to experience an entire physic change and find God through the steps,
when the obsession was removed I no longer stayed sober one day at a time, if I don't have an obsession there is no need, I live my life on day at a time and live life on Gods terms.

mumbai78

interesting post and i can say that the few meetings i atteneded i felt like that for afew of them. I havent attended meetings for 2 years now and i have recently started sharing on an online forum(not this one).

In my experience i feel that the less i mingle with alcoholics the easier it is for me to not think about booze. I dont mean to sound unappreciative but with me, the mroe i talk about my drinking days or listen to others talk about their drinkning, the more i start to think about booze. I think balance is important. It's not always good to get too immersed into the AA thing. It may work for most but there are always exceptions.

kevinv

Time for me to stop lurking and post, I suppose.

I spent YEARS hanging out at awful first step tables that were nothing but puke stories. I didn't get it until I found some people that were hanging out in the solution -- active, hard-fought stepwork.

(the fact that I took my will back for a year and a half and almost blew up my liver, resulting in me counting days again is a story for another thread and I won't hijack..)

The majority of the meetings I go to are solutions-based Big Book meetings. I'll usually hit one first step meeting at a treatment center a week to share my experience, because most (including myself) in that situation don't hear what the program is really about in those meetings.

Ah well. Back to lurking.

Tazman53

Roadhunter I highly reccommend seeking out meeting that focus on the solution and not the problem. I have been to meetings that the group seemed to focus on the problem with no one offering a solution.

My area fortunantly has very few meetings like this. Even our newcomers meetings are not like that, generally a newcomer will come up with the topic which is usually a problem they are having and the rest of the meeting is people sharing the solution that works for them.

A problem will always stay a problem until a solution is offered, one of the great things I love about a good AA meeting, if you are going through a problem that is AA/Alcohol related and bring it up at a meeting as the topic, you will here numerous solutions from different folks generally related to the program, for more personal problems generally I can find someone before or after a meeting that has experience in the area and a solution as well, or of course I will call my sponsor and he will get me with someone who does have a solution.

jimhere

I haven't to any AA meetings lately that make me want to drink, but I have been to a few that make me want to puke.