flutter

Ditto on Dk's post. I became dependent on alcohol at some point, I don't know when, still trying to figure out why.. but I'm glad I'm done.

SelfSeeking

The gene/s that predispose you to alcoholism do depend on one thing to trigger the disease and that's _alcohol_. You can be screwed genetically but if you're adopted by, say, Mormons and never touch a drop, you're never gonna be an alcoholic. My guess is you might have other addictive behaviors, but if you never take the first drink, alcoholism is not going to be one of them.

SelfSeeking

The very first time I drank I woke up the "MOREMOREMORE" voice! I was only four! Dad was giving me drinks from his beer can. I had one and drove him up the wall begging for another. Then nothing for 11 years... then as a 15yr ol, my first time sneaking mom and dad's tequila, I tried and failed at "moderation management" That afternoon I climbed up to the shelf with the bottle, climbed down, did a shot, climbed back up, and put it back, determined that I was just trying it. I kept climbing up, doing a shot, and climbing back to put it away, oh who knows how many times that day. The fear of getting my arse kicked by my parents was not nearly enough to stop me from grasping for more of that good feeling (and I was a good girl at that point).

For the most part, it only progressed from there. I wish I hadn't pickled my brain while it was still forming.

Philly

Wow thanks for the thread. As I read some of the responses I so relate to alot. I drank socially ( a few glasses of wine maybe every other month ) till I was 40. Didn't really enjoy it - only did it to be social. Then my children grew up and I thought it was my turn to party. I then started drinking and enjoying it. That is where the progression started. Then I was drinking maybe one night a weekend. Started with the wine but eventually needed too much and it was too many calories so I went for the vodka- big mistake. By the time I was done I drank every weekend all weekend long. I never did drink every day except if on vacation but the last year I had so many nevers broken that I can only assume that was the next step.

So I do think the beginning was when I started to enjoy it and look forward to it. From there it just progressed. I do have alcoholism in my family but I'm not real sure if it is in my genes because I think the habit of drinking drove me to alcoholism more than the genes.

Againg thanks for the thread it was very enlightening.

Tommyh

people used to talk about that invisible line alcoholics cross,into the land of no return.I crossed over into it while I was a teenager,16-18 years old
I went from controlled drinking to where I could not control it.There is no going back for me.
It is also a progressive illness which can be arrested but not cured,thats my experience.

CD-RUN

I agree with the genetic component of alcoholism. I also believe that anyone who abuses a substance often enough can fall into addiction. In my case, I was addicted from the beginning. I used alcohol as a crutch in any possible situation. To make everything fun. At first it wasn't a problem but it I knew what I was doing wasn't normal. Normal drinkers don't need to drink before going to work, or to go shopping. It wasn't until years later that I was willing to admit I had a problem.

coffeenut

Wow.

Okay, I realized that alcoholism is progressive, but I seriously thought Most alcoholics were probably life time drinkers. I didn't really understand how it can come upon you midlife...I know that sounds silly, but that is what I thought. To me....that's even scarier than being a lifetime drinker.....no one is safe from this disease, really.

Dee....didn't mean to offend with the 'stupid' word in my OP. I just think of my alcoholic drinking as incredibly stupid.

TryingSoHard

Yep, it was scary to me, too. It was weird because part of me could SEE it happening and could notice the changes in my drinking habits, but I shrugged it off, telling myself that SURELY *I* wasn't becoming alcoholic. I mean come on, I drink normally, I've just been overdoing it a few too many times. I just need to back off a bit.

When my drunk days started outnumbering my sober days, I stopped and thought, "Huh. This probably isn't good." And then I poured myself a drink and said I'd worry about it tomorrow. Months passed and I started keeping a stash and I thought, "Huh. This CERTAINLY can't be good." But it was better (in my f*ed up mind) than having people realize how much I was drinking and hounding me about it, so I rationalized it.

2 years is all it took. 2 years changed EVERYTHING.

I had normal habits. I would even, on occasion, leave a restaurant with beer or wine still in my glass. I didn't LIKE doing that, but because I felt like I was wasting money - not because I felt like I was wasting alcohol! We used to belong to a Wine of the Month club and our 42-bottle wine fridge would get FULL because we'd not open bottles often enough to keep up with the shipments! Two people + 1 bottle of wine used to = a darn good night!

I had to go and screw it all up. It happened so quickly!! It still honestly boggles my mind when I think about it, and I still feel kind of cheated out of some things that I used to really enjoy. We had plans to take a vacation to the California wine country, too. Guess that won't happen now. I know it's no big deal in the grand scheme of things - there are other vacations that I will love - but the injustice of it all just PISSES ME OFF sometimes, ya know?

I try not to think about that part of it too much and focus on why it's so much better this way.

Sara9009

This is kind of an interesting question for me. I always felt if I drank I would become an alcoholic because I grew up with alcoholics and my grandparents were. In retrospect, I think this may have been a self-fulfilling prophecy. I agree with DK that it is a myriad of components that causes someone to become an alcoholic.

I drank very normally and very occassionally until I was about 27. I never really enjoyed alcohol, I didn't like the way it made me feel, and I hated being around people that drank a lot. It just didn't do anything for me and wasn't a love at first sight.

Also, like TSH said I had a lot of moments when I started drinking more heavily that I said to myself if I don't stop now I am going to be an alcoholic but I kept right on doing it. All in all, I would say it took me about 6 months to become an alcoholic and kept drinking for 2-3 years before I pressed the stop button. In a sick kind of way I think I did it on purpose. I was really self-destructive.