68 days later
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Rogue River, Oregon
Posts: 3
68 days later
I'm on day 68 of my new found sobriety (knock on wood). I've been drinking every day for 12 years straight until now.
I can deal with the cravings. They really haven't been that bad. I think I mentally associate really bad moments in my life with being drunk or drinking, so that's helped me a lot in not wanting to drink anymore.
What Im struggling with is this friggin roller coaster im on. The days I feel good or normal are far and in between. I keep going through cycles of depression, anxiety, racing thoughts, irritability, anger, and feeling tired all the time to feeling ok for a brief moment before im plunged in again. I haven't wanted to do anything that I normally find fun, I haven't wanted to do anything at all. I cant even get myself to get work projects done.
Im not going to do it, but the desire is there to drink again just so I can feel even and balanced again. I feel like im going crazy sometimes because I cant control this stuff.
Has anyone gone through anything like this? What helped you manage and get things back to normal?
Thanks in advance,
Rand0m411
I can deal with the cravings. They really haven't been that bad. I think I mentally associate really bad moments in my life with being drunk or drinking, so that's helped me a lot in not wanting to drink anymore.
What Im struggling with is this friggin roller coaster im on. The days I feel good or normal are far and in between. I keep going through cycles of depression, anxiety, racing thoughts, irritability, anger, and feeling tired all the time to feeling ok for a brief moment before im plunged in again. I haven't wanted to do anything that I normally find fun, I haven't wanted to do anything at all. I cant even get myself to get work projects done.
Im not going to do it, but the desire is there to drink again just so I can feel even and balanced again. I feel like im going crazy sometimes because I cant control this stuff.
Has anyone gone through anything like this? What helped you manage and get things back to normal?
Thanks in advance,
Rand0m411
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
I have found i am having to change my whole lifestyle and thought process to avoid the problems you are having. It is very hard but without it, for me, i would just be someone who had stopped drinking and not dealing with the reasons why i drank for so long. I go to a counseller and take some meds. Thats just me though.
I think i will end up going to AA though soon as i am struggling to live, if that makes sense to anyone, not that i am going to drink but i am not totally getting it to be honest. I am still thinking in some aspects of my life like when i was drinking and that is not good obviously.
Anyways i am on...wait let me count...day 118, jeez i couldnt even stop for a day last year by myself!
well done on your 68 days, that is one hell of a good start thats for sure!!!!!!!
I think i will end up going to AA though soon as i am struggling to live, if that makes sense to anyone, not that i am going to drink but i am not totally getting it to be honest. I am still thinking in some aspects of my life like when i was drinking and that is not good obviously.
Anyways i am on...wait let me count...day 118, jeez i couldnt even stop for a day last year by myself!
well done on your 68 days, that is one hell of a good start thats for sure!!!!!!!
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,024
I've even heard it described like a heart monitor. If it's flatline, we're dead, right? But if the monitor shows highs, lows, spikes in our activity, that's a sign that life is happening.
That doesn't mean that these things you mentioned are perfectly normal.... cycles of depression, anxiety, racing thoughts, irritability, anger, and feeling tired all the time to feeling ok for a brief moment before im plunged in again. I haven't wanted to do anything that I normally find fun, I haven't wanted to do anything at all. I cant even get myself to get work projects done. It does sound very familiar to me though, it's a perfect description of some of the things I felt in early sobriety.
I learned in AA to deal with these things using the tools I learned from 12-Step recovery. I heard it described in the Big Book this way.......
There is a solution. Almost none of us liked the self-searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for its successful consummation. But we saw that it really worked in others, and we had come to believe in the hopelessness and futility of life as we had been living it. When, therefore, we were approached by those in whom the problem had been solved, there was nothing left for us but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at out feet. We have found much of heaven and we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence of which we had not even dreamed.
It didn't happen right away for me, in fact it took months. I'm the stubborn type and I fought my recovery tooth and nail, looking for an easier way. In time though I learned how to handle my emotions, and to return to the things that I loved doing, but without alcohol in my life.
I hope you find something that works for you, any program or plan for your recovery. Just remember, it all starts with the commitment to never being able to safely drink again.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Here is a link you might find interesting
Post Acute Withdrawl - Relapse Prevention Specialists - TLC The Living Center
I was back in balance mentally and physically by 2 months.
I was also using AA..an eating plan and vitamin supplements.
Congratulations on your sober time
Welcome to our recovery community....
Post Acute Withdrawl - Relapse Prevention Specialists - TLC The Living Center
I was back in balance mentally and physically by 2 months.
I was also using AA..an eating plan and vitamin supplements.
Congratulations on your sober time
Welcome to our recovery community....
sounds about right to me too. I too felt all those feelings. Just started to feel feelings basically .....because I was numb for a long time and didnt allow myself feel anything.I took vitimans for my nervous system which was shot....A trip to the doc for a check up might be a good idea to have bloods done etc...........It gets better
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 57
What Im struggling with is this friggin roller coaster im on. The days I feel good or normal are far and in between. I keep going through cycles of depression, anxiety, racing thoughts, irritability, anger, and feeling tired all the time to feeling ok for a brief moment before im plunged in again. I haven't wanted to do anything that I normally find fun, I haven't wanted to do anything at all. I cant even get myself to get work projects done.
Im not going to do it, but the desire is there to drink again just so I can feel even and balanced again. I feel like im going crazy sometimes because I cant control this stuff.
Has anyone gone through anything like this? What helped you manage and get things back to normal?
Thanks in advance,
Rand0m411
Im not going to do it, but the desire is there to drink again just so I can feel even and balanced again. I feel like im going crazy sometimes because I cant control this stuff.
Has anyone gone through anything like this? What helped you manage and get things back to normal?
Thanks in advance,
Rand0m411
The only real cure is abstinence over time. If you want to try and speed things up a little, you may want to try some alternative medicine--like acupuncture, biofeedback, meditation, deep breathing exercises, muscle tension/relaxation, yoga, and prayer. Your nervous system is slowly rebalancing itself to a normal state, and doing some or all of those activities on a regular basis will help speed up the process and provide some immediate relief to your anxiety/depression/racing mind. Good nutrition and avoiding caffeine, processed sugars, etc. also helps. There are lots of books on natural remedies for anxiety. There is also a forum on here for anxiety symptoms.
Here is a link you might find interesting
Post Acute Withdrawl - Relapse Prevention Specialists - TLC The Living Center
I was back in balance mentally and physically by 2 months.
I was also using AA..an eating plan and vitamin supplements.
Congratulations on your sober time
Welcome to our recovery community....
Post Acute Withdrawl - Relapse Prevention Specialists - TLC The Living Center
I was back in balance mentally and physically by 2 months.
I was also using AA..an eating plan and vitamin supplements.
Congratulations on your sober time
Welcome to our recovery community....
That link is probably one of the most important pieces of information you can read right now, and that goes for everyone else in early sobriety. I'm still in early sobriety at 8 weeks right now and I get those exact same feelings you're getting still. But they have been getting lesser and lesser and to a more manageable level. In those 12 years you've done a lot of damage to your mind and body. Quitting drinking was the first big major step but theirs some repair work that needs to be done. And making some lifestyle changes will help in that reapir and getting you to start feeling better!
Hang in their trooper, you have plenty of other people in this same trench with you!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Rogue River, Oregon
Posts: 3
I appreciate all the replies. I have been seeing a counselor on a regular weekly basis since I quit and it has helped some. I have an appointment to see my medical doctor tomorrow morning. Im wondering if any medication can help me transition into this new lifestyle (fingers are crossed). I'm not going to do AA though, as I'm not really big on support groups. I am willing to try any steps or methods for self sobriety.
I do have a good diet and I exercise regularly. Since my sobriety I have invested in a bunch of exercise equipment, which I put to good use. Vitamins so far are making me lethargic so I've stopped taking them for now (weird huh?). But im still getting tons of anxiety, especially at night. I do try a little bit of meditation, but I will have to admit to giving it up quickly if its not helping.
I will have to say after reading about PAW im a little freaked out. I really really really dont want to be going through that long term. I already have alot of the symptoms, and I just cant see myself going like this long term because thats whats going to make me want to drink again ugh! Hopefully my doctor will be able to help me tomorrow.
Thanks again for all the advice, I'm glad I found these forums. Gives me a lot of food for thought.
Thank you,
Rand0m411
I do have a good diet and I exercise regularly. Since my sobriety I have invested in a bunch of exercise equipment, which I put to good use. Vitamins so far are making me lethargic so I've stopped taking them for now (weird huh?). But im still getting tons of anxiety, especially at night. I do try a little bit of meditation, but I will have to admit to giving it up quickly if its not helping.
I will have to say after reading about PAW im a little freaked out. I really really really dont want to be going through that long term. I already have alot of the symptoms, and I just cant see myself going like this long term because thats whats going to make me want to drink again ugh! Hopefully my doctor will be able to help me tomorrow.
Thanks again for all the advice, I'm glad I found these forums. Gives me a lot of food for thought.
Thank you,
Rand0m411
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 57
I appreciate all the replies. I have been seeing a counselor on a regular weekly basis since I quit and it has helped some. I have an appointment to see my medical doctor tomorrow morning. Im wondering if any medication can help me transition into this new lifestyle (fingers are crossed). I'm not going to do AA though, as I'm not really big on support groups. I am willing to try any steps or methods for self sobriety.
I do have a good diet and I exercise regularly. Since my sobriety I have invested in a bunch of exercise equipment, which I put to good use. Vitamins so far are making me lethargic so I've stopped taking them for now (weird huh?). But im still getting tons of anxiety, especially at night. I do try a little bit of meditation, but I will have to admit to giving it up quickly if its not helping.
I will have to say after reading about PAW im a little freaked out. I really really really dont want to be going through that long term. I already have alot of the symptoms, and I just cant see myself going like this long term because thats whats going to make me want to drink again ugh! Hopefully my doctor will be able to help me tomorrow.
Thanks again for all the advice, I'm glad I found these forums. Gives me a lot of food for thought.
Thank you,
Rand0m411
I do have a good diet and I exercise regularly. Since my sobriety I have invested in a bunch of exercise equipment, which I put to good use. Vitamins so far are making me lethargic so I've stopped taking them for now (weird huh?). But im still getting tons of anxiety, especially at night. I do try a little bit of meditation, but I will have to admit to giving it up quickly if its not helping.
I will have to say after reading about PAW im a little freaked out. I really really really dont want to be going through that long term. I already have alot of the symptoms, and I just cant see myself going like this long term because thats whats going to make me want to drink again ugh! Hopefully my doctor will be able to help me tomorrow.
Thanks again for all the advice, I'm glad I found these forums. Gives me a lot of food for thought.
Thank you,
Rand0m411
Patience, time, and the things mentioned in this thread (exercise, relaxation techniques, spirituality, nutrition, etc.) are generally the best permanent long term cure. Unless you have degenerative PAWS, your symptoms should continue to improve over time, and hopefully will be gone completely a year from now or less. That is not a life sentence. You drank for many years, you need to give it more than 2 months to feel better.
When I first got sober....things were okay. Then after about 50 days, I found myself finding interest in things I used to love and do when drinking wasn't occupying my life.
Some of it is out of your control, but I found that staying positive and doing things I truly enjoy and being myself while doing it....feels good. I too went through a tired phase...for about a week. But....this too will pass. I for one never want to go back to where I was 3 months ago, and I have not even gone that far Doing anything for 12 years and then stopping will make anyone feel weird, for a little bit anyway. But with quitting drinking or using.....your body is thanking you.
Some of it is out of your control, but I found that staying positive and doing things I truly enjoy and being myself while doing it....feels good. I too went through a tired phase...for about a week. But....this too will pass. I for one never want to go back to where I was 3 months ago, and I have not even gone that far Doing anything for 12 years and then stopping will make anyone feel weird, for a little bit anyway. But with quitting drinking or using.....your body is thanking you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Rogue River, Oregon
Posts: 3
Things are going good. Thank you all for all the advice. I read each post and take it to heart. Still sober.
I keep having dreams in which I give in and drink, only to wake up the next day (in my dream) kicking myself and thinking I have to start all over again, and being really bummed out that I drank.
After im awake (for real) Im so thankful it was only a dream and not something I really did. Just crazy the stuff our minds do in our sub-conscious. Mine's been very busy.
I keep having dreams in which I give in and drink, only to wake up the next day (in my dream) kicking myself and thinking I have to start all over again, and being really bummed out that I drank.
After im awake (for real) Im so thankful it was only a dream and not something I really did. Just crazy the stuff our minds do in our sub-conscious. Mine's been very busy.
RandOm411, like Ralph9898 said in his response you are still pretty early on in recovery and it does get better as time goes on. My first 2 months were rough with anxiety, depression and insomnia. The racing thoughts were scary, I thought I was going off the deep end for a while but that was all part of the anxiety that is very common in early recovery. I'm now at 5 months and all of those symptoms are gone but getting through the early part was not easy.
If you read about the Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome symptoms you'll see that there is a kindling effect whereby the withdrawal symptoms get worse and worse the longer you drink and go through withdrawal episodes. After 12 years you can expect it to take a while but just keep in mind that this to shall pass. Just knowing that I wouldn't feel that way forever is what got me through it. So stay strong Random and all of those bad times will eventually be just another page in the history books.
If you read about the Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome symptoms you'll see that there is a kindling effect whereby the withdrawal symptoms get worse and worse the longer you drink and go through withdrawal episodes. After 12 years you can expect it to take a while but just keep in mind that this to shall pass. Just knowing that I wouldn't feel that way forever is what got me through it. So stay strong Random and all of those bad times will eventually be just another page in the history books.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 32
I was wondering how your doctor's appointment went? Mood swings, depression, and racing thoughts can also be symptoms of a mood disorder (which people frequently self-medicate with alcohol). If these symptoms continue over the next few months, you might want to see a mental health physician just to rule out any problems in this area, esp if you have a family history of mood disorders. Hopefully it's nothing serious, and these symptoms will pass soon! I can relate to the irritability problem. I'm finding that aerobic exercise helps me alot, along with frequent small snacks during the day to keep the blood sugar level. I notice that after about 4-5 hours, I start getting snappy, and an apple or handful of pretzels really helps! 72 days is awesome--you have a lot of strength to keep persevering despite these challenges! It's an inspiration to me.
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