otter

Well, after being sober for over a year I fell off the wagon last week. Actually, I fell off, my boot buckle (I’d imagine if I’m riding a wagon I’m wearing boots) got caught in the side, it drug my for about 100 yards through the dirt then finally let me go.

Some old friends came into town that I haven’t seen since getting out of the service and we wound up going out for steaks and beer. I guess I just didn’t want to make things different than what they used to be so I wound up going round for round with those guys. The only two things I really miss about social drinking is the taste of a good microbrew and a glass of red wine with a steak. Well, that’s exactly what I tried to relive.

That was Wednesday. Woke up Thursday, called off work and spent the whole day drinking. After that two and a half day binge I spent most of Friday, Saturday and Sunday curled up on the couch with the lights off surfing the internet, not answering the phone and experiencing micro symptoms of the withdrawal I went through the first time.

I’m usually a pretty happy go lucky guy but after a binge like that I fall into a deep depression. Don’t want to talk to anyone, do anything or go outside. Just get really anti-social and depressed - just like I did when I signed up here almost two years ago. Imagine that!

Maybe I subconsciously needed a reminder why I quit in the first place. I don’t know but it happened.

Anyway, just felt like sharing with some people who have an idea where I’m coming from, it’s good to let it out sometimes. Now that I have some experience on the dry side of the coin I’ll try to chime in when I feel I can contribute.

Anyway, thanks for listening to me rant and I’ll poke in a lot more often. Soon have a boss to deal with who isn’t going to be happy and still in a bit of a funk. Wish me luck.

Still fighting my demons too
-otter

readyforhelp

Thanks for your post, otter.
I especially love the opening visual, thank you.
I'm glad you are here........

ReneeS

Thanks for reminding me why I can't drink "socially." I'm good about staying within a 2-3 drink limit when I'm out, but as soon as I get home, I'm drinking 8-9 more, and feeling sick like you did afterwards. Thanks for sharing this story. I hope you feel better and can get back on the wagon soon (and that your boss isn't too angry with you!)

tkdan

Welcome back otter. I can relate as can most who come to this site. Keep us posted on how you sre doing.

CarolD

Welcome bac...

I hope you take that earlyer sober time
as the base for yoour new staart.

gmaklay

My troubles exactly.... I don't feel the need to drink everyday, infact I don't even miss it now that I'm not. However, when I try to have a social drink with others it turns in to days of drinking after just one or two. Then, when I decide it's time to go back to my responsibilities, I face the waves of withdrawal death!!!!

Sorry to hear about the wagon fall. Hop back on with us, there is plenty of room!!!

Reading your story helped remind me of why I can have a drink.. Thanks for sharing...

ExNavyInHouston

Your post is a good reminder, there is no time when you have enough sobriety to feel safe.

otter

Thanks for the responses guys.

The boss wasn't mad at all actually. I haven't taken off for months so I guess I had some time coming. Bad part is I consider him a good guy and had to lie to him about being sick and what a stupid reason to use sick time.

Amazing how the problems just snowball to cover up drinking. Bah!

Felt good this morning when I posted this but when I got to work that anxiety, irritability and cloudy head was still there. Just didn't notice it because zoning out on the couch requires much less awareness.

I can't believe how bad it kicks my butt. Again, thanks.

Dude, we have the same version of the problem.

When I was drinking one of the guys I used to hang out with a lot was a heavy smoker who could stop drinking anytime he wanted and used to look at me like I had three heads when I would get a 32 oz beer for lunch and then kept going till 4am after a long night of the same.

Anywho, he tried hypnosis, the patch, pills I forget the name and his wife nagging him to death to get him to quit smoking and nothing worked. But when I was all bombed up I would smoke like a chimney (I must owe him $300 in cigarettes because I never bought any, just wasn't a habit) and it woudln't bother me one bit if I never smoked one again.

It used to **** him off to no end that I could just quit and I hated him for not having cravings for a drink the next day. Just funny how those things work.

Back on the wagon indeed. Just gotta break out of this funk, not let it get me down and get back to feeling good.

gmaklay

It's feels good to hear you're not the only one with the issue sometimes yet you wouldn't wish it on your worst enemy.

Don't sweat the fact that you feel you lied to your boss. You didn't lie.. We are sick. I like how Glenn Beck refers to it. He calls Alcoholism an allergy. I think he's right. Our bodies/minds do not process it like normal people.

Take care bro, we're all in it together!!

...now I gotta go to the gym and sweat my a** off

least

i had six months and fell off, then had two weeks and fell again. now am back trying again and determined to make it this time. my poison is wine, and poison is the right word, as it will kill me if i don't stay away from it.