Jackie36

That is how I am feeling today. I am in such a mental negative path right now, the thought of drinking has been with me for 2 days, and its getting stronger. I am coming up this week on 5 months sobriety. I am beating myself up for being me, and the lack of joy I have in my life, my lack of motivation yada yada yada............I am on this site everyday, I may miss a day here and there, and I have been here for 6 years. Do I give advice, any kind of experience, strength or hope to anyone? NO, why not? I don't know, I am feeling bad about that too..................I read and read and read everyones stories, situations daily. Blech............I don't know, I am really afraid of what I am feeling right now, and I feel so selfish on top of it, cause the only time for the most part I have ever posted, is when I need help! I feel selfish. I have the F'its today, and I know where that can leave me, and it isn't subsiding. I am fantasizing about a big ole bottle of something and sleep so I don't have to feel this, and yet, I don't want to cause I know where that will leave me! What a flippin tug-o-war battle going on in my head, I just don't want the wrong side to win. I really don't know what I am looking for here, I feel like I don't even deserve feedback, but I do know when I haven't gotten this feeling "out there" in the past, the wrong side won.

yeahgr8

Hi there

Wow, 5 months sobriety isn't worth that bottle at all! That would suck balls haveing to start from day one again! Hope you don't drinkg today and keep reading:ghug3

readyforhelp

Jackie,

Good job for posting.
This too shall pass. This too shall pass.
I'm glad you are here and you do deserve........

Bamboozle

Hello, Jackie.


I was told by some very wise people here at SR this: when you are really struggling, you need to be here the most.

It's okay that you're posting a lot when you need help. Think about this for a moment...you think you are being selfish by posting only when you need help, but the words that you post and the responses you get are bound to help someone else who happens to read it.

That's the beauty of a community like this.

Please keep posting.

Bamboozle

Congratulations on the 5 months.