CarolD

Look at it this way Jewels....

What do you have to lose by using AA?
Out the door...into action.

You will find support and understanding.
You will meet others seeking recovery from alcoholism.
It's an awesome adventure in living.

...Why not?

ralph9898

The body, mind, and soul are all interconnected. My belief is that the essence of who I am, the perfect being created by God, my authentic self, resides deep inside of me. But myself and many others have a distorted view of this perfection. We see ourselves through a damaged prism/lens. Kind of like when you go to the house of distorted mirrors at the fair, and you look fatter/skinnier/taller/shorter/etc. in the mirror.

I believe that negative childhood experiences and other negative life experiences distort or damage this prism through which we view ourselves. Even worse, alcohol's effect on the brain and nervous system further distorts and warps this lens/prism that looks into our soul. Until I fix the prism in my mind, so that I have a clear and undistorted view of my authentic self, I will never reach my full capacity and feel true joy and peace in my life.

That's what I believe is meant by "soul sickness." It is a distorted image of self.

masseyman

I haven't been on this particular forum before and was drawn to the alluring topic here...'soul sickness'. Lot's of ideas from such various points of view, very interesting.

Ralph9898 probably sums it up for me in that a human soul is who we are...our essence so to speak. When you numb it with alcohol....it's like trying to speak clearly under water, or looking at yourself or others in a fun house mirror...distorted...unclear...un-'you'. Sick.

Good topic folks.

peace.

CarolD

masseyman...
Welcome to our Alcoholism Forum

Yes...members often use several Forums
glad to see you here.

Boleo

My disease is three-fold. I have a physical allergy, a mental
obsession and a spiritual malady. If I take one drink, I will lose
all control of my liquor consumption (Big Book page 21). If I dwell
on the "good old" drinking days, I will be obsessed with re-living
them. If I attempt to choose not to drink "one day at a time", I will
find that my "so-called willpower becomes practically
nonexistent" (Big Book page 24).

When I gave up nicotine, I simply choose not to smoke "one day at a
time" and it became easier for me each day. When I tried to give up
alcohol by choosing not to drink "one day at a time", it became harder
for me each day. My problem was not just alcohol. For me "not
drinking" did not treat my alcoholism. I was uncomfortable in my own
skin before I took my first drink as a teenager and I returned to
being uncomfortable in my own skin after I took my last drink.
Alcohol was my solution for 30+ years and did not become my problem
until my final years of drinking when it failed to give me comfort
before it made me blackout.

It was not until I recognized and addressed my "real problem" that
sobriety became comfortable. My real problem was in the form of the
"Four Horse-man of the Apocalypse " (Terror, frustration, bewilderment
and despair). Until I found a way of chasing them away, sobriety was
not worth having.

lizw

I couldn't stand myself but I was all I could think about.

Jewels

The "distorted mirror of self" analogy is great! It's just another way of describing "soul sickness". When we connect with the higher power, I guess that's part of the journey or the beginning of the journey to accept and like ourselves. I guess, then the need to "escape" through alcohol, money, or self centerness becomes unnecessary.

Let me know how you overcame your soul sickness?

navysteve

Great question Jewels! The difference between an alcoholic and a problem drinker is:

A problem drinker's problem stops when they stop drinking.

An Alcoholic's problem has just begun when they stop.

The twelve steps are for many many people the solution that booze once was The timing will probably vary from person to person here. I did my first 4th and 5th step at 3-4 months sober, I can't tell you when I started to feel better, for me the magic steps were 9 thru 11. I was an angry young man ( actually a scared one) when I got into AA. As I began the journey thru the steps my resentments towards my Dad became very apparent. The 4th and 5th steps simply illuminated this. As I balked at steps 6-7 ( several years) my resentment grew. My father was a practicing alcoholic who was in his own way, trying to make up for the damage. He would occasionally call me on the phone and I would let him have it!

My sponsor reminded me of my part, and told me how I owed my dad an amends, and after a little resistance and some reflective prayer I did. My resentment was lifted. We buried my dad almost 6 months after that and I was at peace with him and grateful I had followed a suggestion.

That is just an example Jewels. You can experience it for yourself and it will be an overall incredible lifestyle. Did you ever see people getting healed in a fundamental church????

I think the steps are that way, just not instant. I feel clean inside

Kallista

I went to AA. I'm not a God person, but I learned a ton about being an adult from going to AA and spending time with other AA members. I quit drinking. I did the Steps. I got rid of some sick relationships and got healthier ones. I changed my behaviors, learned how to be responsible, and take care of myself. I learned to let go of some things that were making me very sad. I learned to stop recreating the same situation over and over again in my life. I worked on being less self-destructive. I stopped "fighting everyone and everything."

AA saved my life.

Jewels

Navysteve, it sounds like you are a success story. I've heard so often about the anger and resentments that people have. The alcohol can mask it for a while, but sooner or later the mask falls off. That's when one admits that their "lives have become unmanageable". It takes courage to admit this and seek help. You did it and now you have peace...or serenity. Sounds so easy, but it isn't. Some never realize that the mask is hiding their "unmanageable life". I pray that two loved ones in my life seek help and get better like you did!!! See, I'm going to Alanon and I learned I have to let go and let God. It's so hard for me.

navysteve

The only hard parts are seeing the problem and accepting spiritual help. AA is a spiritual program, folks who come into AA and want a psychological-peer mediated, mentorship cognitive therapy program are missing the point of this. Its like going to church and talking about football and wondering why you don't know the Bible. The solution is simple when faced with alcoholic destruction. I am only successful because the message of AA was carried to me. We have sobriety, I have problems

Kallista

Just because I said I'm not a God person, it doesn't mean I'm not spiritual. I spent years working on the God thing in AA and ended up as an atheist. That still doesn't mean that I'm not spiritual. I don't believe in a personal Higher Power, that monitors my well-being or failures and is waiting to take me into Heaven when I die. I do believe that there are things in this world that are sacred, including human life. I also believe whole-heartedly that I am not the highest power in the world, and that there are many things that I cannot accomplish alone.

I would have preferred to go a secular recovery program or support group but Lifering and WFS aren't available in my area.

I took what I could from AA and left the rest. Whatever the purpose of AA is, it had a lot to teach me about just living.

navysteve

Kallista I never suggested that you were anything. I do not believe in a deity either. I do believe in an energy that I can connect with. And I never said that you can't get something from AA even if you don't buy into the whole deal. AA never claims to be all things. None of the philosophies in AA are original. They are borrowed and are open to all.

Jewels

Whatever one believes in, whether they call it spirit, higher power, or energy, acknowledging that we, are not the center of the universe is a positive step. Faith is accepting something without "seeing" it. Our spirit somehow feels the presence of a higher entity if we allow it to to. With this acceptance there comes serenity and that's what AA I think is about. I waver and that's when I get in trouble. I get anxious. I want to take control. I get angry and resentful.

FightingIrish

It occured to me today that, if someone were to prove to me tomorrow that God does not exist, I would still maintain that my recovery requires that I come to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity.

FightingIrish

It occured to me today that, if someone were to prove to me tomorrow that God does not exist, I would still maintain that my recovery requires that I come to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity.

Jewels

Fighting Irish, what you say is very powerful for me. It reaffirms, for me, how important a "higher power" (or whatever one wants to call it) is. My sponsor, in Alaonon, has often whispered to me, when I've been at my lowest, "trust and pray to your higher power". Sometimes that's all I could do because I really couldn't help those that I loved the most. They had to help themselves! I could only change myself. I had to "let go and let God". It hasn't been easy, but like you have written, without that higher power I think I would be helpless. It's so hard to see the alcoholic destroy themseves....I want to reach out and pull them out of their spiral. It isn't for me to do, but I have to have faith that the higher spirit is also there for them. Oh...it's been so hard for me. Thank you for your response.

Serenidad

Agreed!!! Alcoholism and addiction are just a SYMPTOM of my problem. My problem is I have a void that I am trying to fill. If I am truly an alcoholic (which I am) programs like Rational Recovery or simply just trying to quit by myself will never work!

That empty hole (that I believe I was born with) will always need to be filled. Alcoholism, for me, is a soul sickness. AA and the 12-steps helped me stay sober for almost 6 years (and happy). I stopped going to meetings, the emptiness came back, I relapsed, I was in hell again :-( and now I am back in AA.

For people who can quit on their own....great! For me I have tried for a long time.....it's extremely hard and lonely.

My 2 cents. Praying for y'all! Xo

Grungehead

Wow an oldie but goody thread.

For me "soul sickness" was when I reached the point that I could not live with or without alcohol. I had a hole in my soul and I could no longer find anything that could fill the void -- not even alcohol worked anymore. Through the steps I found a way to fill that void which has allowed me to live happily without alcohol in my life.