Amazonqueen522

To think i was so happy yesterday when I was celebrating my 30 days sober and today for the first time I feel like escaping. I know its not the right thing to do but it feels like the best thing to do at the moment. I don't want to go back to drinking to avoid feeling the way I do right now. Everytime I'm around my family I get these urges to drink they seem to be triggers for me.

I want to stay strong and I know that this moment will pass but it has such a strong hold on me, I am praying that this moment passes quickly. All I can do right now is cry and sit here in front of computer until this feeling goes away. I will not move until I fall asleep or the craving goes away.

I needed to get this out, I'm going crazy...

gravity

I went through this. SR saved my arse more than once! Keep reading and posting - it WILL pass.

Think about how you will feel tomorrow morning - well rested, at peace, 31 days sober!

Bard

unfourtantly this is part of the recovery process. i had two rough days recently but coming here posting and reading helped me out as well as keeping my mind and body busy with other things. just hang in there, it will pass.

CarolD

Cry....post...yell....pray
Just don't drink tonight.....

CarolD

Have you eaten recently?
Ice cream is sooo tasty and you can eat it and cry too.

I've done it many times.

bodey29

Hang in there, keep chatting, posting, reading whatever you feel you need to do AQ. The satisfaction that you have felt the past 30 days, will be even sweeter tomorrow. Hang in there Queen.

serenityqueen

mamabin

I'm so sorry you're having one of THOSE nights. Getting it all out will mean it's gone in the morning, right???

geekorunique

Just keep doing what you did when you first felt crap - come on here and let it all out!

You will have a racing brain for a long time - you used alcohol as an anasthetic and a way to take you away from yourself. You take alcohol out of alcoholism and you're left with I See Me...and that's not an easy thing to cope with. I can absolutely promise you 100% that if you keep going with your sobriety and if you get to AA meetings...things will get better. It's not easy but you know what - nothing in life that was ever worth getting was easy to get.

In 8 months sobriety I have had my heart broken twice - coz I'm a fool and didn't listen to my sponsor...what I did do though was get to the rooms of alcoholics anonymous and shared how I felt. And it pulled me through it. Somedays I was demented and wanting a drink. I was going into pubs with my mates and not drinking just because I didn't want to change my lifestyle - I stopped doing that though as it was driving me crazy! I didn't know what I wanted but I did know that I couldn't drink. I'm allergic to alcohol - I'm also allergic to penicillin but I didn't throw that down my neck for 10+ years...

....it will pass...and you will step into the sunlight once more for sure.

And we will all be here with you every step of the way...that's another promise

:ghug2

Amazonqueen522

Good Morning all, it is 9:29am and I have remained sober, thanks for your support and allowing me:ghug2 the opportunity to pour my heart out. I am so grateful that I have you all as my SR friends without you I would be lost.

I truly want to remained sober and live a happier life and I'm going to fight this one through no matter what I am confronted with.

Thanks again,:ghug3

SelfSeeking

Amazon, I didn't see this thread until now- congratulations, well done!!! Enjoy your beautiful hangover-free Sunday morning. You earned it.

Bard

Hangover free mornings. The gift of not giving in and drinking. No matter how bad of a day it could be and how tempting it is to want to drink to make it all better for a while. It wont be nearly as bad feeling as waking up the next day hungover and back at square one.

Congrats on toughing it out!

Bamboozle

Hello, AQ.

Keep on keeping on.

gmaklay

Great to hear you were able to make it through!! I had the same situation yesterday. My whole family had a big cook out yesterday and they are all big drinkers. So I had to fight off all the large ice chests filled with cold beverages and all the pressure of "why are you drinking coke"? "You too good to drink with us any more"?? Blah Blah Blah...

I can't say I couldn't have sucked the bottom out of one of those cans, but I was able to hold up. However, I bet I drank about 8 caffine free cokes!!!

Still was able to have a good time. We can do it!!!!

24hrsAday

ONE day at a time AND asking my higher power for a day of sobriety.. been doing it for over 2years now!
my WORST day sober is better than my BEST day drunk..

flutter

Good job! Feels great huh? I think sometimes when we hit milestones, chunks of sober time, etc.. we start to think "well if I could do XX days, then certainly I can do this if I just drink tonight, and start again tomorrow" or.. "what's just one night, I can do another XX days again no problem!". That's the part that scares me, my next drink is not 50some days behind me, it's right in front of me, and I have to be diligent in my intentions and choices to keep it out of my hands.

Good job.. I know exactly how you feel.

oh, and gmak, thank goodness they were caffiene free! lol

mamabin

I was just going to ask how you are doing. Glad you made it through a tough night!

CarolD

Thanks for the update...

Keep moving forward!

gmaklay

HHAHAHAH.... No doubt I'm already a VERY tightly wound person with loads of energy. They tried to label me as ADHD in school. I'm just a guy with alot of energy. It's way worse with caffiene. I would have been crawling on the ceilin'!!!

ReneeS

Wow, this is strange that you posted this. I hit my 30 day anniversary on Wednesday, and the past two days have been very difficult for me, too, in terms of cravings! Part of the reason for me is that I'm off for a few days and am not used to not drinking on days off...The temptation to get a bottle was strong last nite, so I made myself remember how crappy I felt coming off a binge, and how much my stomach had hurt me, and how much the alcohol controlled my life.. that helped me to not drink and put things back into perspective. Today has been much easier. I hope your day has been easier, too!