Bard

Hello folks. Welp I'm happy to say I'm on day 53 right now. This is the absolute longest I've ever been sober since I was 13 years old! Almost hard to believe I've made it this far.

But today was a strange day for me. Nothing to out of the ordinary happened. I woke up feeling real energetic like I was on top of the world. And after doing my usual morning routine of letting the dogs out and getting them fed and eating my own breakfast I sat down to look at my emails. Then for some reason I started to over analyze the most trivial and meaningless ****. I kept telling myself that it was nothing but I kept thinking about it. Then after that I got a nervous feeling in my gut which lead to me getting anxiety which I'm already prone to. So to shrug it off I went to go get a shower which helped me relax for a while. But afterwards I just spent the rest of the day from being calm and relaxed to detached and anxious feeling.

This isin't the first case of it but they have lessen some in frequency and they're not seriously disabling though it does make it tougher to concentrate on other things. More of a anoyance like having a bunch of horse flies buzzing around your head. Anybody else get these and if so how long before it clears up?

gonzo9730

I find myself doing those same things to.. Overanalyzing, talking to myself, thinking confusingly and get anxious. The frequency is definetely much less. When it happens, I think of it as like a little bit of residue from alcohol is floating around and being removed from the system. When these emotions come on, I tend to ackowlegde them, choose to ride them out. They eventually pass

espresso

Maybe try to focus on something else - something physical like running, mow the lawn or cleaning...I find it helps "clear the head". Congrats on 53 days

nelco

Hi Bart, I had all of that in early soberity. I was on "high alert" every nerve in my body seems to be introducing themselves to me. I had numbed any feeling I had for years with alcohol and now here they were all back. If someone said a casual hello on the street my head would start saying "oh my god do they know me ...who are they" if they did not say hello I would think "what is wrong with me..why did they ignore me" I over analized everything...e mails included!! Recovery is more than putting down alcohol. That only brought me back to a place of what made me want to run to drinking in the first place.Part of recovery is about getting "in touch" with what is really going on and thats not always comfie or easy...We have to be very gentle with ourselves in the early days to work through this without our crutch.I needed support.. After a while that 2gut2 feeling gets less and less. I seldom have that today but when I do get it I embrace it , because it is a way of letting me know something is going on. In aa we talk about self honesty and this was a hard journey for me. I had been in denail for years about my feelings amd motives for doing things/ As time moved on and as I became honest with myself I became freer and freer and am not filled with anxiety and dread anymore.
No pain no gain!!
well done on your 53 days I bet your dogs are happy. I have a 12 yr old samyoid husky that seems to be grateful every day I am sober. I never forget to walk or feed him since i got sober . I have time to love him. I used to think the dog was grumpy and damanding (never be me of course) He had a full personality change since I got sober and is so loving........I also have a miniture yorkie who is 10 who never knew me when I was drinking. I often remind her how lucky she is lol.

Bard

Hey thanks for the replies. I know it's just part of recovery, all those feelings I use to drink away are coming back up and saying hi to me. I really hate how I'll think of all the bad things I would do when I was drunk come back to me, even stuff I almost forgot about that was 10 years ago are coming back to my memory like it was fresh and happened only a few days ago. It's a little overwhelming at times but I guess all I can really do is ride these feelings out and as the days, weeks, months and years pass by and I stick to it they'll slowly go away. That's actually a good motivator for me to keep sober, I don't ever want to go through this all over again!

CarolD

Glad your breaking records Brad!
Keep om winning....

jules67

Hey Bard, I struggled with anxiety my whole life.

Recently ,when I felt anxiety coming on, I decided to not react to it. I did not tense my body or get almost fearful of it. I kind of told myself I was going to control "it".

Then Iwent about my daily tasks. The anxiety was still there, but it wasn't so overwhelming. Anyway it seems to be working for me.

I don't mean in anyway to minimize your anxiety because I have felt like jumping out of my skin at times in my life.

Also I am noticing that ,for me, the longer I am sober the less and less I have anxiety.

Great job on 53 days!!

jules

prettypoison

First off congratulations on 53 days...Awesome!!!

I wanted to say I have this happen to me too, weird flashbacks. Not every day, but often enough that it is troubling. I wonder if these memories are things that we actively drank over, therefore supressing them, and now they have to be dealt with. I dunno, but I'm glad I'm not alone in this.
Sobriety is one crazy ride...

LaDita

Hi Bard!

I have had days exactly as you described, flashbacks also that bring forth really debilitating panic and anxiety. I think the only thing to do is accept that it's okay , know that it won't last and ride it out the best way you can.
Thanks so much for sharing and most of all.....

WAY TO GO!!!