jazpoppy

I'm quick to admit I'm a drug addict, but not so quick to admit to being an alcoholic who can NEVER drink again. I'm sick of my ins and outs with booze. I haven't posted here for a while due to not having a computer. I just got a new laptop. So here goes, "Hi my name is Jazpoppy and I'm an alcoholic." My mom, her mom and my great grandmother were all alcoholics and it goes back further than that. I cannot trust myself around people who like to drink. If I'm living with someone who drinks a case of beer a day, I'll at least drink 15 beers a day, which is alcoholic drinking. I have even had withdrawals. I started drinking during the work day too. I finally quit drinking last February 10th, 2008, and quit smoking crack and snorting coke December of 2007. I also don't take pain medication recreationally anymore either. I live with a sober person, but I still get cocaine cravings and alcohol cravings that I keep to myself. I have not been to meetings. My sober boyfriend (he's a drug addict) wants to go back to meetings, so I'm going with him, I need AA and Alanon, and possibly NA (NA around here is not really well established so that's why my bf and I prefer AA, there's more sobriety in AA around here. I'm going to get a sponsor and really work the steps this time. I LOVE workbooks so I'm going to purchase a workbook that my sponsor and I can go through together. Do you think I'm doing the right thing? People from my home town thought that less than a case of beer a day was a "light drinker" and nothing to go to AA over. I think they're NUTZ! I felt AWFUL, I got sweaty by noontime, had to drink one or two beers or wine coolers just to stop sweating so I could go back work after lunch. It didn't help my work performance. I lost my second job because of drinking on the job, granted it was working from home, but I was irresponsible and forgot to call clients that I was supposed to do work for! I may not have blacked out, but I was headed down the wrong path. I did daily drinking for about 3 years and weekend drinking before that for a total of 8 years of daily or binge drinking in my life. I feel better not drinking! I broke free, but the cravings still hit me and i crave a bottle of wine of a 6-pak of hard cider or beer every once in the while. Any advice is welcome.

JAZ

sfgirl

Sounds like a really good plan to me! And sounds like the people in your home town are sort of nuts. I really like A Woman's Way Through the Twelve Steps Workbook by Stephanie Covington, PhD. I love workbooks too. Even though I procrastinate actually going through them and doing the work. I haven't done AA though so may want to wait for the more experienced folk for better advice on that but seems like you are on a great track.

CarolD

Yes! a very good plan....

Welcome back to SR!

Bamboozle

Hello, jazpoppy!


You know what you need to do and you have a good plan.

Posting at SR helps me to deal with the cravings when they pop up.

jazpoppy

Thanks for the replies Bamboozle, SFGirl, and CarolID. Its nice to hear from people going through the same things I'm going through. Its either stay sober or end up in jail, an institution, or in a casket. Not good places to go if an alcoholic keeps drinking. I have to take medication for a severe pain condition and I don't abuse my medication EVER, and since I've been on the medication I had to quit drinking because the side effects where worse than if I was just drinking and not on medication. I'd become more incoherent, violent, and have more blackouts being on medication and drinking. So my choices were to keep drinking and have my doctor remove me from my pain meds (which would have left me almost bed-ridden) or quit drinking and get a good quality of life from my medication regiment. I chose the later, sticking to my medication, exercise, and meditation regiment has worked wonders for my pain. Now I'm doing even more, I'm going to do aqua therapy, get some surgery that I've put off, and get back into a good workout program to lose more weight (I lost 45lbs just from not drinking for 1 year!!!) and be as healthy as I can be! I will check out that workbook, I love workbooks too. I need structure, and a workbook would be perfect. Thanks again!

Jaz

Bard

That sounds familiar. Some of the people I use to hang around thought that if you didn't polish off a full case every night and for every 1 month you spent drinking you took a few days off in between you were fine! Funny how it works. Wanna quit smoking? Go for it! Wanna give up drugs? You bet! Wanna give up drinking? Well hold on lets think about this.....