Experience quitting without AA?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 753
Experience quitting without AA?
Can any of you out there who have quit without AA give me some insight into what tools you used to quit?
I am on day 13, have stopped for periods and tried to moderate but now know that is not for me. I have been to AA, to LifeRing, to Smart Recovery. I also read all kinds of things about sobriety and love the reading. I am interested in hearing from successful sobriety without AA just to get an idea of what has worked for others, other than AA.
Thanks to all of you - I love SR and it has been a great lifeline and resource for me so far.
kindbird
I am on day 13, have stopped for periods and tried to moderate but now know that is not for me. I have been to AA, to LifeRing, to Smart Recovery. I also read all kinds of things about sobriety and love the reading. I am interested in hearing from successful sobriety without AA just to get an idea of what has worked for others, other than AA.
Thanks to all of you - I love SR and it has been a great lifeline and resource for me so far.
kindbird
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: East Coast
Posts: 437
Hi Kindbird,
This is a really good place to start. I do not go to AA for personal reasons but I do think it would have been easier. I have been sober for 6 months but didn't find this site until the 2nd month. You really need to talk to people going through the same thing you are. That is why AA is good but so is this site. If I had the time there is so much to learn. There are oodles of books and they have excerpts from some on this site. You can find many books referenced here. I think the main thing for me was finding others whether here or in readings that are going through the same thing. This site was amazing in helping me get through the holidays when I think everyone but my 1 year old granddaughter was drinking.
Good luck and just keep reading and posting. You should be proud of your 13 days that is an awsome start.
This is a really good place to start. I do not go to AA for personal reasons but I do think it would have been easier. I have been sober for 6 months but didn't find this site until the 2nd month. You really need to talk to people going through the same thing you are. That is why AA is good but so is this site. If I had the time there is so much to learn. There are oodles of books and they have excerpts from some on this site. You can find many books referenced here. I think the main thing for me was finding others whether here or in readings that are going through the same thing. This site was amazing in helping me get through the holidays when I think everyone but my 1 year old granddaughter was drinking.
Good luck and just keep reading and posting. You should be proud of your 13 days that is an awsome start.
I'm just a little unwell
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,219
I'm almost 4 months sober. I don't use AA. I went to 6 or 7 meetings back in September but I haven't gone back.
I bought A TON of recovery books (including the AA Big Book) and I spend a lot of time here. I'd like it a lot if there was a SMART or LifeRing group around me, but there's not. The books help a lot.
I bought A TON of recovery books (including the AA Big Book) and I spend a lot of time here. I'd like it a lot if there was a SMART or LifeRing group around me, but there's not. The books help a lot.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,876
It's funny I am always at a loss of what to say when someone asks what "tools" do you use.
It is hard to compete with go to meetings, call your support group, call your sponsor, read the bb, pray, meditate...etc.
The biggest "tool" I used is my brain. I read as much as I can about addiction..I come to SR...and I have re-taught myself how to live sober.
I lost so much due to drinking...little things came back...the ability to enjoy a good book...follow a recipe...silly I know but that is a part of living I had lost.
Each day presents you a new opportunity to learn about yourself, exactly what you are capable of...collect "tools" along the way that resonate with you. Most of all know that if you want it you are in control of the outcome.
It is hard to compete with go to meetings, call your support group, call your sponsor, read the bb, pray, meditate...etc.
The biggest "tool" I used is my brain. I read as much as I can about addiction..I come to SR...and I have re-taught myself how to live sober.
I lost so much due to drinking...little things came back...the ability to enjoy a good book...follow a recipe...silly I know but that is a part of living I had lost.
Each day presents you a new opportunity to learn about yourself, exactly what you are capable of...collect "tools" along the way that resonate with you. Most of all know that if you want it you are in control of the outcome.
)
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,900
Unlike A.A.'s treatment guidelines 
, I have supportive people in recovery that honor and respect my treatment plan and beliefs. That right there is a great resource of 
satisfaction and comfort. learning that addiction is a brain disease has helped me understand the cognitive and emotional factors that propel addiction. That understanding helps me cope with the triggers that can lead to a relapse. Also CBT/REBT offers effective living skill that can bring about healthy functioning and living, especially during times of great stress.
, I have supportive people in recovery that honor and respect my treatment plan and beliefs. That right there is a great resource of satisfaction and comfort. learning that addiction is a brain disease has helped me understand the cognitive and emotional factors that propel addiction. That understanding helps me cope with the triggers that can lead to a relapse. Also CBT/REBT offers effective living skill that can bring about healthy functioning and living, especially during times of great stress.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,386
I agree with Bugs. I don't do AA and I use SR.
The biggest tool I have is me (
TSH) lol.
I know now I can't safely drink - ever.
I know for a fact I will put everything I love and hold dear at severe risk if I do.
So when the urge hits, or things get too much, I do anything and everything I can do - anything other than drink.
Posting here is good.
Riding the cravings out if I can't get to SR, trying to relax, distracting myself, talking with someone I trust, or even trying to solve whatever's bothering me are also good things to try.
Ultimately, I think it's down to me - no matter what programme I use...ultimately I believe it's me who raises the glass to my lips.
I figure it's up to me to be ready for rough moments and have some plans, or at least some ideas, in place - be ready.
D
The biggest tool I have is me (
TSH) lol.I know now I can't safely drink - ever.
I know for a fact I will put everything I love and hold dear at severe risk if I do.
So when the urge hits, or things get too much, I do anything and everything I can do - anything other than drink.
Posting here is good.
Riding the cravings out if I can't get to SR, trying to relax, distracting myself, talking with someone I trust, or even trying to solve whatever's bothering me are also good things to try.
Ultimately, I think it's down to me - no matter what programme I use...ultimately I believe it's me who raises the glass to my lips.
I figure it's up to me to be ready for rough moments and have some plans, or at least some ideas, in place - be ready.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 753
Thank you all of you. I agree with bugsworth's comment about it being hard to compete with the "tools" of AA. But I think that I am getting from all of you that you do have things you do personally that work in your non-drinking life.
TSH - thanks for the recommendation about books. I have some and really get a lot out of reading them - will get more.
Philly - thanks for your insights. So far for me this site has also been a real source of feeling like I have a community of people with similar experiences around me.
Allport - thanks for the recommendation to post on the secular thread.
Thank you to all of you.. Still working at it and need all the insights I can get!
TSH - thanks for the recommendation about books. I have some and really get a lot out of reading them - will get more.
Philly - thanks for your insights. So far for me this site has also been a real source of feeling like I have a community of people with similar experiences around me.
Allport - thanks for the recommendation to post on the secular thread.
Thank you to all of you.. Still working at it and need all the insights I can get!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,385
The main thing that keeps me from drinking is SR.
I have been coming here everyday for only a short time. I'm a newbie. I have made a couple of close friends who I communicate with on a regular basis. I don't do AA but have read a lot of their literature. I have attended online AA meetings. AA was the first place I looked for help. However, I found this site and fell in love with it. I can be myself on my own terms and on my own time.
I do believe that AA is still probably the best thing out there for alcoholics in spite of its drawbacks. It's just not for me. I am a religious person too. I use my faith to help with my sobriety in addition to SR. To me, the people on SR are "my people." A "family of addicts" who can rely on each other without being shamed and judged.
I have been coming here everyday for only a short time. I'm a newbie. I have made a couple of close friends who I communicate with on a regular basis. I don't do AA but have read a lot of their literature. I have attended online AA meetings. AA was the first place I looked for help. However, I found this site and fell in love with it. I can be myself on my own terms and on my own time.
I do believe that AA is still probably the best thing out there for alcoholics in spite of its drawbacks. It's just not for me. I am a religious person too. I use my faith to help with my sobriety in addition to SR. To me, the people on SR are "my people." A "family of addicts" who can rely on each other without being shamed and judged.
I'm just a little unwell
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,219
Are ya ready for this? LOL
Ok, here's the list of the recovery books I own, with my comments in italics after the author's name:
Under the Influence: A Guide to the Myths and Realities of Alcoholism by James R. Milam and Katherine Ketcham I read this entire book in about 3 or 4 hours the day I bought it. I couldn't stop reading once I started. Very interesting stuff. Some people say it's outdated since it's more than 20 years old, which is why I bought...
Beyond the Influence: Understanding and Defeating Alcoholism by Katherine Ketcham and William Asbury I just started reading this. I'm only on the second chapter. Will update you later with my opinion, but I've heard excellent things about it from everyone who's read it.
Alcoholics Anonymous, also called The Big Book. I tried AA and liked the fellowship and face-to-face support but the program itself is not for me. While the book is very dated and can be a bit condescending, it still has quite a bit of useful information in it. I think it's a great resource if you use AA's tenet of "take what you need and leave the rest".
Sober for Good: New Solutions for Drinking Problems - Advice from Those Who Have Succeeded by Anne M. Fletcher I really loved this book. I also read it all in one sitting in one day. I could relate to an awful lot of the information included in the book, which does not promote any one particular recovery method. It's more of a compilation of what worked for the group of over 2,000 "masters" she interviewed. The term "masters" is kind of creepy, but if you can get past that I think you'll like it.
Rational Recovery: The New Cure for Substance Addiction by Jack Trimpey I have to say, when I read this book (2 days after my last drinking episode, when I felt like the world would be a better place if I just died), it was the first glimmer of hope that I had that everything would honestly be ok. Here is a program that tells me it is COMPLETELY possible for me to quit on my own, without the religion, without AA, and be successful. Trimpey is INCREDIBLY anti-AA and that's kind of a pain in the butt to suffer through - he seems to spend as much time bashing AA as he does teaching you the RR techniques - but for me it was worth it. It really did give me HOPE when I very desperately needed it.
The small book by Jack Trimpey. Rational Recovery's answer to the Big Book. I haven't read it yet.
Understanding the Alcoholic's Mind: The Nature of Craving and How to Control It by Arnold M. Ludwig, M.D. I'm only about 1/4 way through this - and it's not a very long book - but it has potential to be my favorite of the bunch so far. I don't know why I haven't dedicated the time to sit down and read it yet... I really want to. It's dead-on so far.
Keep Coming Back: Humor and Wisdom for Living and Loving Recovery This is just a small little pocket-book style book with common phrases and tidbits of encouragement.
I also have Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life by Martin E.P. Seligman. I think this is more of a true self-help book as it's not specific to recovery, but teaches techniques for improving your life and outlook overall. I bought it years and years ago and have not re-read it to put it in the context of recovery, but I know of people who say it's a good read for recovery purposes.
Ok, I think that's it.
Oh, and I'm going to buy I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell by Tucker Max this weekend. If you missed my thread on him in Newcomer's, good gosh - google him. His writings are hysterical, and we have GOT to have something to laugh at through all of this, and if nothing else he gives some VERY GOOD REMINDERS of why we should never, ever, EVER drink again!! Good gosh, go to his website and read the story called 21st Birthday. ACK.
Under the Influence: A Guide to the Myths and Realities of Alcoholism by James R. Milam and Katherine Ketcham I read this entire book in about 3 or 4 hours the day I bought it. I couldn't stop reading once I started. Very interesting stuff. Some people say it's outdated since it's more than 20 years old, which is why I bought...
Beyond the Influence: Understanding and Defeating Alcoholism by Katherine Ketcham and William Asbury I just started reading this. I'm only on the second chapter. Will update you later with my opinion, but I've heard excellent things about it from everyone who's read it.
Alcoholics Anonymous, also called The Big Book. I tried AA and liked the fellowship and face-to-face support but the program itself is not for me. While the book is very dated and can be a bit condescending, it still has quite a bit of useful information in it. I think it's a great resource if you use AA's tenet of "take what you need and leave the rest".
Sober for Good: New Solutions for Drinking Problems - Advice from Those Who Have Succeeded by Anne M. Fletcher I really loved this book. I also read it all in one sitting in one day. I could relate to an awful lot of the information included in the book, which does not promote any one particular recovery method. It's more of a compilation of what worked for the group of over 2,000 "masters" she interviewed. The term "masters" is kind of creepy, but if you can get past that I think you'll like it.
Rational Recovery: The New Cure for Substance Addiction by Jack Trimpey I have to say, when I read this book (2 days after my last drinking episode, when I felt like the world would be a better place if I just died), it was the first glimmer of hope that I had that everything would honestly be ok. Here is a program that tells me it is COMPLETELY possible for me to quit on my own, without the religion, without AA, and be successful. Trimpey is INCREDIBLY anti-AA and that's kind of a pain in the butt to suffer through - he seems to spend as much time bashing AA as he does teaching you the RR techniques - but for me it was worth it. It really did give me HOPE when I very desperately needed it.
The small book by Jack Trimpey. Rational Recovery's answer to the Big Book. I haven't read it yet.
Understanding the Alcoholic's Mind: The Nature of Craving and How to Control It by Arnold M. Ludwig, M.D. I'm only about 1/4 way through this - and it's not a very long book - but it has potential to be my favorite of the bunch so far. I don't know why I haven't dedicated the time to sit down and read it yet... I really want to. It's dead-on so far.
Keep Coming Back: Humor and Wisdom for Living and Loving Recovery This is just a small little pocket-book style book with common phrases and tidbits of encouragement.
I also have Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life by Martin E.P. Seligman. I think this is more of a true self-help book as it's not specific to recovery, but teaches techniques for improving your life and outlook overall. I bought it years and years ago and have not re-read it to put it in the context of recovery, but I know of people who say it's a good read for recovery purposes.
Ok, I think that's it.
Oh, and I'm going to buy I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell by Tucker Max this weekend. If you missed my thread on him in Newcomer's, good gosh - google him. His writings are hysterical, and we have GOT to have something to laugh at through all of this, and if nothing else he gives some VERY GOOD REMINDERS of why we should never, ever, EVER drink again!! Good gosh, go to his website and read the story called 21st Birthday. ACK.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,385
Thanks TSH. I have read the top thred on your list. Each one has helped me but the top two are the best. Here are a few more that I've read but they come from an AA way of doing things more or less, which is fine for some but not me.
Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp
20 Good Reasons To Stay Sober by David Eugene
First Year Sobriety: When All That Changes is Everything by Guy Kettelbach
Living Sober: Some Methods AA Members Have Used for NOt Drinking by AA World Srvs.
Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp
20 Good Reasons To Stay Sober by David Eugene
First Year Sobriety: When All That Changes is Everything by Guy Kettelbach
Living Sober: Some Methods AA Members Have Used for NOt Drinking by AA World Srvs.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,385
I've also read The Easy Way to Stop Drinking by Alan Carr. His book is not geared to AAs way of thinking. Rather he attempts to get the reader to think of alcohol as gross and foul etc, (which it is). And that the alcohol industry tries to suck you in so don't be fooled kind of thing. It actually did help a little for me. I stopped for 7 days in 2007 but started back up. Some of the terms I use to describe alcohol were inspired by this book. Terms like sewer sludge, gorilla snot and fermented bat pee.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: San Antonio, TX
Posts: 645
Currently reading 'The Alcoholism and Addiction Cure' by Chris Prentis. Chris opened Passages Addiction Cure Center in Malibu, California after his son had fallen into heroin, cocaine and alcohol addiction for 10yrs.
Great read, gets into healing the underlying conditions that are responsible for our dependency in the first place.
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Great read, gets into healing the underlying conditions that are responsible for our dependency in the first place.
<><
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