TheMaster

What makes one an alcoholic? What is the deciding factor that creates this fine line that non-alcoholics do not cross?

When I was younger, I drank every night, either a 12-pack or a 5th of something. I drank because I liked drinking. I wasn't trying to escape any misery. Everytime I stopped, I stopped because of my weight (the 1st time) & medical reasons (diabetes-more recently).

I admit, I was more prone to depression when I drank regularly, even recently, although I did it on weekends/holidays. I haven't felt depressed, since stopping, oddly enough. Haven't lost any weight, either. Been too sick to exercise...

But I have been wondering what it is that makes one an alcoholic. I don't believe it's a disease. I believe it's a choice. I chose to drink heavily and now I choose to not drink at all. I don't think of myself as having a disease. I think of myself as having to choose to not drink, as I know the end result (more weight gain and other potential problems from diabetes).

What is that line? What are you escaping from when you drink, if you are escaping from something? I have never understood that aspect of drinking.

justanothrdrunk

Couple links for you:

Alcoholism: Tests and diagnosis - MayoClinic.com

Alcoholism - MayoClinic.com

Emimily

hm. in the words of jim l., so what? if you don't want to label yourself an alcoholic, don't. if you can quit drinking just like that, maybe you're not an alcoholic. i couldn't. i tried.

there's no one qualifier that makes someone an alcoholic... i am an alcoholic because i cannot control my drinking once i start, i cannot predict the outcome of an evening if i am drinking, and very bad things happen when i drink - maybe not EVERY time, but more often than not.

i don't get what the big deal about this is. the stigmas that alcoholics face are SO much less daunting than they were 73 years ago, when Bill W. said he was an alcoholic. but, that's just me. i hope you find peace.

Pagekeeper

Great post and questions. My replies reflect my experience only. Others may be vastly different.

I call myself an alcoholic because when it comes to drinking my behavior and thoughts are atypical. I can't seem to stop once I pick up a drink and I lose the power of "choice" as a result. I tell myself I'll "just have a few" but after a few my body demands more. It's no longer a decision that my mind can make. It's a physical response, a craving, that overpowers me. I would say the non-alcoholic doesn't experience the "craving," but that's just my opinion. If there's no "craving" then one can easily stop after one or two drinks. Occasionally I have been able to stop after one or two, but 90% of the time I can't stop, don't want to stop, and had no true intentions of stopping once I started. Because I like the effects of alcohol, and one or two drinks simply do not give me the effect I'm looking for. In fact, I'll turn down "a few drinks" if that is all I can have because I know after a few I'm going to get that craving.

findingout

I am an alcoholic because when I take one the many tests titled "Are you an Alcoholic?" , I tend to answer yes to 17 or 18 out of 20 questions. It doesn't seem to matter who makes up the test. I just took one the other day at the Betty Ford Clinic web site. Sure enough, 17 out of 20.

Purpose of the test is to determine if I am an alcoholic.
Result of the test is that I am an alcoholic.
That was simple.

I guess I could argue with the wording of the questions, find ways and means to qualify my yes answers as being different from the yes answers given by actual alcoholics, or just pretend I never took the test. I used those tactics for years, back when there were only 7 or 8 yes answers, and things just continued to get worse.

Or.... I could just surrender the idea that I can somehow prove I am not an alcoholic and get on with the work of recovery. I mean, it's not like being diagnosed as an alcoholic is an automatic death sentence. There are treatment options that do work if I do the work. Personally, A.A. worked for me.

TryingSoHard

I agree 100% with Emimily and Pagekeeper.

I also am not on board with the "disease" theory, but that doesn't mean I have any less of a problem.

There are lots and lots and lots of quizzes and questionnaires and such that will tell you if, by their definition, you qualify as an alcoholic. There's also somewhere on here (help, Carol??) the "definitions" of the stages of alcoholism.

As we tend to say a lot around here, it's not how much you drink or how often you drink or what you drink but what happens to you once you take that first drink. Do you lose ability to control your intake? Do you ever promise yourself you won't drink and then you find yourself drinking anyway? Do you wake up with feelings of shame and regret? Do you have blackouts? Just a few things to think about.

Sara9009

I consider myself an alcoholic. I don't want to have one drink, I don't want two drinks, I want the entire bottle and then I want to do completely irrational things. Saying that I don't for myself consider alcoholism a disease for other people and their experience I can completely understand why they feel comfortable or believe in the disease model. (Very technically it does fit the description of a disease and is recognized as one by the AMA).

For me Alcohol was a choice I made. At the end of the day though I don't think it matters what we chose to call ourselves or not call ourselves as long as we aren't drinking. As far as a line, with my family history, I knew it wouldn't take long and sure enough it didn't to get to the point where I was out of control.

Taking5

If you don't like the label, don't apply it to yourself. If you can control your drinking to the point where it does not affect the rest of your life, chances are, you aren't alcoholic.

I will take exception to one thing though:

It is clearly a disease. A disease doesn't have to be communicable like HIV or measles. Every major medical body in the USA recognizes alcoholism (and other addictions) as a disease.

Allergies are diseases too. I can choose not to eat peanuts today, and my allergy is arrested, but I am STILL allergic.

An alcoholic can similarly not drink - even for years - but they are STILL alcoholic. Have you ever been in the rooms of AA and heard of someone relapsing after 10, 15 or 20 years sober? I have, and they all said the same thing, they were out of control and just as bad as they ever were within a week.

Alcoholism is a real disease. You may not have it, but don't deny it's existence.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do with your drinking.

CarolD

With your medical history...sobriety is solidly indicated.
Call yourself whatever you choose...
ibut for a healthy future....stay sober...

tommyk

i am an alcoholic because i cannot control my drinking once i start, i cannot predict the outcome of an evening if i am drinking, and very bad things happen when i drink - maybe not EVERY time, but more often than not.

Me too. Exactly.

But if someone else wants to have the same situation and not believe they are an alcoholic I'm okay with it.

They can just be a 'problem drinker' if it makes them feel better.

(2 + 2 doesn't have to equal 4... 2 + 2 can equal 'four', both are correct, the result is the same.)

navysteve

The Big Book ( which is the book that outlines the program for recovery from alcoholism, and is the only book that does so) only uses the word disease one time in its forst 164 pages. When it refers to resentments being the number one offender, from which stem all forms of spiritual disease...

But the disease concept is a good one that gets twisted by many. Because you can treat alcoholism. I would suggest reading the Big Book as if it were a text book and not a Huck Finn Novel. Start from the Roman Numerals, there is a great deal of information that has stood the test of time regarding whether one is or isn't an alcoholic.

bugsworth

I also don't believe myself to be diseased...especially spiritually diseased. I cultivated myself one hell of an addiction to alcohol and I can never safely drink again, but that is where it ends for me.

I like you, drank caused I really liked it....slowly that changed...eventually I drank cause I didn't remember another way...thankfully that time in my life is over. I don't have to identify myself as an alcoholic ever if I don't want too....I prefer ex-drinker...like an ex-smoker. Anyway you cut it if you remain sober you no longer have a drinking problem.

Dee74

LOL.
We spend so much time debating labels - it's silly really.
I'm just glad I'm where I am and I'm glad I can give back today

D

BP44

There are a couple of things that make me an alcoholic. First, when I take a drink, the drink takes me. I cannot predict the outcome of a drinking episode. That part was pretty easy to see. I had a long list of examples of what happened once I took A drink. None of it was planned, by the way. I never started a night out saying, "gee, this looks like a swell night to go to jail" or " You know, I always wondered what it would be like to wake up in the morning in a strange location two states from where I started with no recall of how I got there". These thoughts never occurred before a drinking episode. Second, I couldn't not take a drink. No matter what happened as a result of drinking alcohol. I would always take the first drink. We consider this a mental obsession, so powerful that it displaces any reason for not drinking. In my case, these two components were so well in place that I had lost the power of choice in what happened once I took a drink, And the power of choice over whether I would drink or not. If you can choose not to drink, great. Just choose not to drink and have a nice life. If you find that you can't not drink, well then, you will find yourself in the hopeless state I found myself in. The Big Book has an excellant couple of paragraphs describing the moderate drinker, a certain type of hard drinker, and the real alcoholic. It was helpful for me to bring my experience to that and see which profile I fit. I am a real alcoholic, I know, it came as a shock to me too.

kduker

I, too, am torn about what makes an alcoholic. I drink every night. Alcohol is like something I deserved cause I work very hard every day. I don't get into trouble. I don't stay out til midnight. I get home at 4:30 everyday, make dinner, do laundry, keep the house clean.

Yet, I know I drink too much, and I know I need to quit. but why? Argh!!!
I can justify with the best of them.

Do I need to hit rock bottom before I quit? and if not, what will make me quit????

I don't really know what I'm saying. or asking. or pleading for. Or do I??

I guess what I'm asking is, what is the difference between a functionial alcoholic and a non-functioning one. And is it harder for a functional alcoholic to quit?

Thanks for any input.

TryingSoHard

I did all those things you just said. I cooked dinner, I chauffeured the kids, I did my household chores, I ran errands, I went to work, I worked out at the gym 3 - 4 times a week... I'd CONSTANTLY say to myself, "Look at me, I'm getting everything done that needs to be done! So what if I want to drink every night? It's not like I'm neglecting anything or hurting anyone."

Yep. That worked, for a long time.

And then I started telling myself, "You know what? Maybe I better lay off the booze tonight. I've been kind of overdoing it lately and that can't be good for me. So no, I won't drink tonight." And then I'd drink anyway.

When that happened again and again and again, I started getting worried. I started paying attention to myself and my drinking habits. I was drunk 5 - 6 nights a week. I couldn't remember the last time I had more sober days than drunk days in any given week. And it was becoming way too frequent that I'd tell myself I wouldn't drink and then I'd give in anyway. And the next morning? Guilt. Shame. Regret. Remorse. PLUS all the physical crap.

Once I started actually paying attention to my drinking habits and how they made me feel, I knew something was very, very wrong. Oh, please believe me, I still spent quite a bit of time after that justifying it to myself. I wasn't ready to give it up. But somewhere deep down in my heart, I knew I had a problem. I knew I needed to stop before something truly awful happened.

I had regular blackouts. I was mean to my husband while I was drunk (but nice to everyone else). I'd start big, huge, ugly fights with him - and then not even remember them the next day. I'd send drunk texts to people and make drunk posts on the internet. And I'd spend the day telling myself, "NO MORE!" only to start it all up a few hours later.

I'm not sure that really counts as being "functional", even if dinner IS on the table. I was miserable.

TryingSoHard

Thanks to CarolD for this one in her previous post in another thread:

Here's how alcoholism typically progresses:

SOCIAL DRINKERS — Most Americans are characterized as social drinkers. Statistics indicate, however, that one of every 16 drinkers will become alcoholic.

WARNING SIGNS — The individual begins to drink more frequently and more than his associates. He drinks for confidence or to tolerate or escape problems. No party or other occasion is complete without a couple of drinks. Driving and drinking become routine.

EARLY ALCOHOLISM — With increasing frequency, the individual drinks too much. "Blackouts," or temporary amnesia, occur during or following drinking episodes. He drinks more rapidly than others, sneaks drinks and in other ways conceals the quantity that he drinks. He resents any reference to his drinking habits.

BASIC ALCOHOLISM — The individual begins to lose control as to the time, place and amount of his drinking. He gets drunk unintentionally. He hides and protects his liquor supply. He drinks to overcome the hangover from his prior drinking. He tries new patterns of drinking as to time and place of drinking. He attempts cures by moving to new locations or by changing his drinking companions.

CHRONIC ALCOHOLISM — The individual becomes a loner in his drinking. He develops alibis, excuses and rationalizations to cover up or explain his drinking. Personality and behavior changes occur that affect all relationships — family, employment, community. Extended binges, physical tremors, hallucinations and delirium, complete rejection of social reality, malnutrition with accompanying illness and disease and early death all occur as chronic alcoholism progresses.


Source: American Medical Association

coffeenut

Drunk is drunk. We all know if we have a problem, no matter what we call it.

I knew yeaaaaaaaaaaars ago, I just refused to face it.

Facing it was easier than living it. Sure wish I could have learned that a long time ago.

BackToSquareOne

What's interesting about the stages of alcoholism is that many people are able to live out their lives without ever making it to the really advanced end stage. Most functional drunks would probably fit somewhere in the middle stages and some never advance past that. It does affect every organ in the body so most alcoholics are shortening their lives and the quality of life is greatly diminished even if you don't ride the train to the end of the line.

TheMaster

Me compared to the stats...

SOCIAL DRINKERS — Most Americans are characterized as social drinkers. Statistics indicate, however, that one of every 16 drinkers will become alcoholic.

- I never was too into the social drinking. I wasn't a frequent bar or club go-er, except a breif period in the mid-90s...

WARNING SIGNS — The individual begins to drink more frequently and more than his associates. He drinks for confidence or to tolerate or escape problems. No party or other occasion is complete without a couple of drinks. Driving and drinking become routine.

- I drank more frequently (when younger) and in larger quantities (then & recently). I always attributed it to because I was a big boy. I weigh 250, now. Almost my entire adult life, I have been over 230... So more mass calls for more booze.

EARLY ALCOHOLISM — With increasing frequency, the individual drinks too much. "Blackouts," or temporary amnesia, occur during or following drinking episodes. He drinks more rapidly than others, sneaks drinks and in other ways conceals the quantity that he drinks. He resents any reference to his drinking habits.

- I had blackouts from the get-go. I never really gradually got in that stage. My friends and I always drank to get drunk. Whatever we had would be finished before crashing... I did conceal it a bit. I live in my brother's house, who does not drink or wants it in his house. So I concealed it, slightly. All I did was keep it in my room and not on the counter in the kitchen. But I'd have done that, anyway...

BASIC ALCOHOLISM — The individual begins to lose control as to the time, place and amount of his drinking. He gets drunk unintentionally. He hides and protects his liquor supply. He drinks to overcome the hangover from his prior drinking. He tries new patterns of drinking as to time and place of drinking. He attempts cures by moving to new locations or by changing his drinking companions.

- Never really did these things... I'm not one to hide much (except above (brother's house), out of necessity although I have talked to him drunk enough times for him to figure it out...). I don't broadcast it, either...

CHRONIC ALCOHOLISM — The individual becomes a loner in his drinking. He develops alibis, excuses and rationalizations to cover up or explain his drinking. Personality and behavior changes occur that affect all relationships — family, employment, community. Extended binges, physical tremors, hallucinations and delirium, complete rejection of social reality, malnutrition with accompanying illness and disease and early death all occur as chronic alcoholism progresses.

- I became a loner, period. I am what some consider "eccentric". I do not make friends, easily. I don't hate everyone, but it takes a bit of time to become "friends". I don't think alcohol caused that. Life did. Personality & behavior, I think it did get affected. I was a lot more depressed with systematic drinking. I had way more outbursts of anger. All that seems to have just vanished in the last few weeks. I don't think it really affected anyone, though. No one that mattered, anyway... No extended binges (only the regular night-time sessions that never got longer), no tremors or the rest of that stuff, except diabetes.

That's the sole reason I quit.