do your spouses drink infront of you?
It`s ok to stay sober
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Central NC
Posts: 20,902
my wife drinks a little but not on a regular basis.When we are at home,she usually does it when I go to a meeting.When we go out,she just drinks one or two.It don`t bother me except I do not like the smell.She don`t leave the bottle out where I can see it.I don`t know what she does with it really,usually I just don`t think about it.
I'm just a little unwell
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,219
No. My husband quit drinking when I told him I had a problem and needed to quit. He even went through the liquor cabinet 2 weeks ago and dumped what was left at my request (it was freaking me out knowing it was there even though it was locked up).
I'm pretty sure that he still has a drink or two when I'm not around (when he's out of town or when I'm out of town - therefore not too often and when I'm not even in the same city) but otherwise, nope. He's even started telling friends of ours that we BOTH quit.
I'm kind of shocked, to be honest. I didn't expect that level of commitment from him.
I'm pretty sure that he still has a drink or two when I'm not around (when he's out of town or when I'm out of town - therefore not too often and when I'm not even in the same city) but otherwise, nope. He's even started telling friends of ours that we BOTH quit.
I'm kind of shocked, to be honest. I didn't expect that level of commitment from him.
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
Not around me, no. There's no liquor/beer/wine in this house, it has to be a safe zone for me. About once or twice a week he'll have a beer or 2 with friends, or out with dinner by himself, but not in front of me.
I don't think I'd mind him having a beer or 2 if we were out, but there will not be alcohol in this house, and I'm not going to encourage it when we're out if he's made up his mind not to torture me.
I don't think I'd mind him having a beer or 2 if we were out, but there will not be alcohol in this house, and I'm not going to encourage it when we're out if he's made up his mind not to torture me.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Hey -
My wife has a nightly tall white wine spritzer, late. Like bballdad, she doesn't keep the bottle out, I'm not sure where it goes, I could probably find it, but I'm committed to not drinking.
It has been an issue with me. I am 4 months clean and sober. When I first got back from my two month rehab stay, it caused me great resentment. I posted on it a few times. My resentment is now gone, it bothers me only a little most nights. If I've had a tough day of early sobriety, it bothers me a little more. If it's too much for me, I'll go in another room, or to bed (that's hard).
She's non-A. She's very supportive. We love each other a great deal, married 24 years. If she wants a drink at the end of her very long days, well, that's fine. If she didn't, I would have to honestly say, it would be more fine...
Mark
My wife has a nightly tall white wine spritzer, late. Like bballdad, she doesn't keep the bottle out, I'm not sure where it goes, I could probably find it, but I'm committed to not drinking.
It has been an issue with me. I am 4 months clean and sober. When I first got back from my two month rehab stay, it caused me great resentment. I posted on it a few times. My resentment is now gone, it bothers me only a little most nights. If I've had a tough day of early sobriety, it bothers me a little more. If it's too much for me, I'll go in another room, or to bed (that's hard).
She's non-A. She's very supportive. We love each other a great deal, married 24 years. If she wants a drink at the end of her very long days, well, that's fine. If she didn't, I would have to honestly say, it would be more fine...
Mark
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Nope she would go out with friends and do it there away from me. I would not like it at all, I would compare it to me trying to quit smoking and her lighting up in fromt of me, i would ask her to go outside. It's almost just a common courtesy IMO
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: England
Posts: 1,733
My wife goes out with her friends every few weeks and has a drink with them.
At home she might have the odd glass of wine every now and then, but less than when I was drinking. I never was a wine drinker and don't find it to be any sort of temptation.
At home she might have the odd glass of wine every now and then, but less than when I was drinking. I never was a wine drinker and don't find it to be any sort of temptation.
Serenity today
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: The Commonwealth
Posts: 135
No, she doesn't. After I'd been sober for a year or so, I told her that she didn't need to abstain because of me. She said that she really didn't care about it one way or the other, that alcohol has never been important to her. It sometimes surprises me how the normal, non-alcoholic mind thinks.
Another Day in Paradise
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Upland, CA
Posts: 900
My current lady, as well as past female friends, are all wine drinkers, and my grown children are as well. In my case I keep several different wines in the house for them and they do “drink the fruit of the vine” when they are in my home. I do not keep "hard" liquor in the house, but do on certain occasions buy and serve cocktails to guests when I entertain, which is quite frequently. However after the evening has ended I send the bottles home with them.
Blended whiskey and scotch were my poison of choice. Wine was never a big issue and if I decide to destroy my life I won't start with wine. I am funny in that I am more uncomfortable when my guests don't drink because of who I am and what MY problem is.
That being said it is a very personal and important choice that each one of us must decide and in my opinion, face based on our comfort and safety in regard to alcohol being used around us. I am in NO WAY suggesting my path as one others should follow.
Jon
Blended whiskey and scotch were my poison of choice. Wine was never a big issue and if I decide to destroy my life I won't start with wine. I am funny in that I am more uncomfortable when my guests don't drink because of who I am and what MY problem is.
That being said it is a very personal and important choice that each one of us must decide and in my opinion, face based on our comfort and safety in regard to alcohol being used around us. I am in NO WAY suggesting my path as one others should follow.
Jon
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,697
Sometimes she does..usually not. She definitely can take it or leave it and I would never expect or want anyone to quit drinking because I have alcoholism. There are probably some bottles of wine here in the house - I have not noticed nor sought them out.
If I was living with an active alcoholic, or someone who got drunk (I have seen her have that 3rd glass of wine and get sleepy and kind of giggly)..it would probably be a different story.
I don't understand the way she drinks when she does - it's never to get drunk. That was almost always my intention---the effect. She saw me drink once - and was horrified at the way I drank myself into passing out, just to get up 3 hours later and pour myself another drink.
We are definitely different in the effect that alcohol has on us...no doubt about it.
If I was living with an active alcoholic, or someone who got drunk (I have seen her have that 3rd glass of wine and get sleepy and kind of giggly)..it would probably be a different story.
I don't understand the way she drinks when she does - it's never to get drunk. That was almost always my intention---the effect. She saw me drink once - and was horrified at the way I drank myself into passing out, just to get up 3 hours later and pour myself another drink.
We are definitely different in the effect that alcohol has on us...no doubt about it.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Righthere, Rightnow
Posts: 1,424
Yes, but she is pathetic about it – alanon, you know. Can’t finish two drinks before wanting to sleep. Two drinks? Cheese! That’s barely enough to motivate me to go to the liquor store. LOL. Does it bother me? Not in the slightest. But I've thoroughly followed a path.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Righthere, Rightnow
Posts: 1,424
Originally Posted by drained22 
wow, Im astonished on your responses. during recovery and recovered alcoholics responses compared to my experience with one.. its astonishing...
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
Ditto on Barto..
huh?
Mind telling us a bit more about you? We have no context.. I'm not getting what was so astonishing either.
Are you a spouse of an alcoholic? a person in recovery? are you asking cuz you think it shouldn't be an issue if you drink? Or are you someone in recovery, frustrated that your spouse drinks around you?
confused... but sometimes I just get that way lol
huh?
Mind telling us a bit more about you? We have no context.. I'm not getting what was so astonishing either.
Are you a spouse of an alcoholic? a person in recovery? are you asking cuz you think it shouldn't be an issue if you drink? Or are you someone in recovery, frustrated that your spouse drinks around you?
confused... but sometimes I just get that way lol
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
