sally785

I need some advice - I have my own problems, but this isn't about me. During Christmas, a few members of my family got together to talk to my Aunt about her drinking. I was supposed to be there, but it was postponed a day for various reasons and I had already bought my ticket home. I honestly believe that if she doesn't stop, she could be dead within a year or two...even if she doesn't die, her quality of life has deteriorated to the point that I can barely see the person she used to be. Apparently, she didn't freak out, but agreed that she needed some counseling...though I don't know whether she's gone yet. I haven't communicated with her since XMas - I'm no good on the phone and the last time I tried to talk to her about it that way I just about had a $%&^ nervous breakdown. Should I write her a letter? I'd feel weird about not saying anything, but I'm having trouble trying to figure out exactly what to say and how. Any advice would be appreciated.

AnthonyV

What was said to me that hit me: "I love you and it's tearing me up inside that you are slowly killing yourself with alcohol."

Jomey

Hi Sally - I am sorry that your aunt is in such a situation. If I were in your shoes, I would tell her pretty much what you told us..that you are worried for her health and life, that her drinking is negatively affecting her and you. Ask her to get help. You can list some suggestions, like AA or a rehab.

Just remember, she is the only person who can make the choice to get well, no matter what you say. If she doesn't respond, please don't feel bad because you can't force her to change.

Dee74

Welcome

^ I agree with Jomey, Sally

Tell her what you told us - but its her choice to do something, not yours - and it wouldn't be your fault if she doesn't

D

CarolD

I think it's a good sign she didn't leave when the subject
came up. A letter from you is a good idea....
but please don't expect her to change quickly.

....Welcome to sR!

Tommyh

Sally,I believe a letter is a good place to start.Good idea.

sally785

Well, I'm glad you all think that a letter is a good idea. I don't expect her to change quickly, but at this point it's change or die so we're all a little freaked out. I'd personally rather see her in detox than trying to quit on her own because I'm afraid that going cold turkey might have some really awful consequences - and I know that cutting down won't work in the long term. On the other hand, I don't want to come off like I'm telling her what to do. Maybe it's best not to mention that part of it at all...