question.
 

hey guys, i'm eeb and i'm an alcoholic. i have five months withouth booze. i don't do other drugs, although i have in the past definetly partaken in my share of illegal substances. on new years eve, i was at my friends party. the drinking around me was getting too much, so i decided to leave. i went to the room to change my clothes and grap a book for the subway. as i reached for the book, there was a mound of cocaine on it. i touched it and put it to my lips. then i realized this was wrong, and i left immediately sans reading material. does this one action mean that i am on day one again? i didn't drink, don't consider myself a drug addict. and i wanted to be really honest with myself, why did i do that? because my program is lacking, my disease was sitting on top of me. i'm so grateful i didn't drink, and have been going to at least one meeting a day. honesty is what i need and i thought i'd start on here. thanks for listening.

This is what I would ask myself: did you get high or intend to get high?

Peace & Love,
Sugah

i did not get high in the slightest. and honestly, i didn't intend to get high. it was something that really illuminated for me the idea of constantly being aware of where you are, your current state in recovery. and i had not been to a meeting in four days, a bad move for me, something i do not plan to do again. i need meetings. i need this forum. i need the support of others in recovery. and i need to be honest with who i am, an alcoholic.

Sounds like you got lucky, then, eeb. Talk to your sponsor about it, and if I were in your shoes, I think I'd accept it as a wake up call and move on.

Glad you're okay.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

I would say no, you didn't do it with the intent of getting wasted.

thank you guys so much for being here, i just really needed a place to come and get really honest.

I agree with Sugah. And good for you for staying true to yourself and keeping yourself honest. I'm glad you left there when you did. You can get a new book, you can't get a new you.

I would not worry about it and move on.Let it be a learning experience.I appreciate your honesty.

thanks for commenting, i get nervous posting on here cause i feel like i may get no response...

It was a wake up call. Some would call it a blessing. You didn't use, now learn from it.

Welcome to sr!

How come things like that never happened to me before I got sober!?!?

Coffeenut, you summed it up well! eeb look at it as a wake up call, reality check, however you want...it was a good learning experience, a gift. You didn't relapse.......be grateful for the reminder!:abcp:

i think really the thing is, i wasn't putting sobriety first. i was putting new people, a fun new me, a party first, everything, the cold weather won out over going to a meeting. i have to keep it number one on my list. i want to work a better program, i don't know what would help though, i go to meetings and talk to my sponsor every day. and i don't drink. i don't know what i think is missing. but i'm so grateful to be sober today.

Eve...:hug:
Please read the final paragraph in our BB-page 43.
Also..."The Doctors Opinion"
and the last of "Bill's Story"

Hope they help ...:)
Well done on your sober time!