tommy79

Hey all,

Been on here before (have posted on and off for a few years now). About 2 years ago I went sober for about 2 1/2 months without any problem, immediately after New Year's 2006. Thought I'd try the same thing this New Year's but have got drunk again...after just 5 days!! I just can't seem to get sober now. I'm in a weird place. I've been to AA on and off...I feel like it's too extreme for me at the moment. I'm not ready for a big spiritual conversion (although I see its attractions). Is there some way to get sober without going through all that stuff? If not, do I just have to drink my way into such despair that I need it?...

T

Rouxballs

the best way for you to get sober is to dig deep down inside yourself and really want to get sober. You have to really set your mind to it and just do it. Thats how I did it so I am speaking with experience. I drank damn near everyday(whiskey) and decided enough is enough. But only you can decide that for yourself.
Good Luck--you can do it.

By the way, welcome back to sr

yeahgr8

I went to alcohol counseller 11 weeks ago, been counselling 2 times a week and on anti depressents and antabuse. Thats kep me sober for 11 weeks from drinking everyday.

Hope you find something that works for you:-)

Bamboozle

Hello, tommy. There are plenty of sober folks on SR who have done it without group help. Some of them hang around the Secular section of SR.

I don't do groups and I'm sober, but I wouldn't call myself a sucess. I'm just shy of a month of sobriety...who knows how long it'll last. I hang around here a lot...it helps. Keep reading and posting.

Trippstar

Get as much help as possible from all the drink/drug places.This might scare you but I went 6 months widout a drop and bang relapsed. Drunk so much I got picked up by ambulance. Then stayed dry for 1 and a half months then relapsed again.
Its hard. Probably the hardest thing you will ever have to do in your life if your a proper pisshead.
Bless you take care Cant be half hearted bout giving up either gotta go full on, face all your fears

tommy79

Thanks guys. I think I am going to try it "my way" for a while. Even some people in AA said to me early on to use AA for what you want to get from it. Maybe a meeting a week to keep me in check and just all the other little methods I've used before to stay off the stuff.

I guess, deep down, the thing I reeeeally can't get used to is giving up my will/ego to something else (i.e. an HP). I know most AA people will say that's exactly the point...but there's masses of anecdotal evidence to suggest people get sober for long periods on their own terms, precisely through getting fit, strengthening their egos etc.

The point is...I'm a "high-bottom" drunk at the moment, if I stopped. I'm only 29 and have basically no major yets. I'd love to have a big spiritual conversion and find a new me etc. But that has to be honest, heartfelt. At the moment it wouldn't be...so I just don't think AA is for me right now. But, like I say, the occasional meeting would still be helpful I'm sure.

CarolD

Here is a list of various recovery programs for you to explore

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-programs.html

I sure hope you find a way to quit...life is too hort to be a slave to a bottle Welcome back to SR...

FightingIrish

I knew I was someone who could not get sober on his own. I needed support, so I went to A.A., since it was the ony thing available in my area, and played along. That was a year and four months ago...

Cathy31

Hello my dear,

From your post you sound defiant LOL You also do sound like you need to suffer *more*. You know my story Tommy, I also did that casual approach to AA for about 18 months..but now I'm sober for almost 3 years and so I'd say any kind of AA/recovery input is good.

I don't think you need other recovery programs, cause you clearly don't want to recover yet...when you are ready, when you are in enough pain, know that AA works. You DON'T have to wait til you get all the yets, I unfortunately did but I am grateful to be in recovery today.


I know you and I think you are worth it. You are also the same age as my fiancee who is clean and sober and loving it. i.e. you are not too young.

I really really hope that depression and or stupid accident does not claim you before you surrender. :praying

Keep us posted!

Cathy31
x

bugsworth

Tommy...know that you are not alone regarding your feelings about aa. More importantly know that sobriety is indeed possible without a "spiritual conversion" I would not dare to say don't go to aa if it helps you in anyway...but it might help to explore other options along the way. Dig deep and you will be amazed at what you can do. Hang tight and learn to ignore the AV which convinces you it is ok to drink. After some time goes by the little bugger quiets down. Best of luck to you!

tommyk

Focus on just for today and you won't know day 4 from day 14 from day 44.

If you got up earlier than I did today you have more sober time than me.

least

I hope you don't have to 'drink your way into despair' before you want to stop - by then you may have one of those awful 'yets' you haven't had yet. It's just a matter of time before luck runs out and something happens that can't easily be undone. When you want to stay sober more than you want to drink you'll be better able to stay sober. I just hope that time comes soon.:ghug3

Reminder

Hi Tommy:

Having a spiritual awakening is not about finding a new you. It's about finding the real you that has been buried beneath the false self - the ego. Addiction is about "me and my wanting". I drink, therefore, I am. BTW, one doesn't have to be a member of a 12 step program to have a spiritual awakening.

The first step is to realize that you are not who you think you are. If you are not who you think you are, then who are you? Self-awareness then leads to self control.

Peace.

tommy79

Thanks to everyone for all the great thoughts. As for the above: thanks especially for this. This is the nub for me at the moment. When I have "done" AA recently, I've thrown myself in big time and felt I've had a huge spiritual epiphany, have genuinely felt wonderful, prayed (I'm not someone who has a big problem with the idea of a personal God btw)...and gone out and drunk again pretty quickly. This leads me to feeling rather schizophrenic and, yes, questioning who the "real me" is.

I've got to say, I've posted precisely before about not being able to get back to the "old" me (or is that not the "real" me?) - the me before I drank...because, like it or not, I am older now, pushing 30, not the kid who started drinking heavily when he was 18. It's yet another sense of shifting, ungraspable identity, which makes everything harder.

Anyway, what works is what matters. The reality is, AA has never kept me sober. The times I've been sober for longer periods before have been under my own steam. So I'm trying to get back to the place I was when I last did that properly (about 2 years ago). Once I've got some sober time under my belt, then I'll think about the longer-term, and it may or may not include a profound spiritual experience.

Sorry if all this sounds combative...it's just how I feel at the moment. A solution to this problem has to start with honesty, as it says in the Big Book...

Birdy43

If you do not work the program you will not stay sober. There is no human power that can get you sober. Only God and working the steps and having a sponsor. Only you can surrender to your addiction and admit you have a problem. (If you do) All I know is that I worked very hard to get high and drunk so I figure I can do the same for my sobriety. By the way I love being sober. Good luck! Keep coming back.

AnthonyV

I'm not trying to pick a fight, but this is not true. There are many people who become sober without AA. I'm happy that AA has worked for you, but your experience is not everyone's experience. What works for you may not work for another, and what works for another may not work for you.

It's said in the program that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. So what do you call it when an alcoholic keeps going to AA expecting different results only to fail time and again? The problem I have with AA is that when one succeeds it's God and the group that is responsible, but when one fails it's that person's fault. To me that is putting a heady weight on often vulnerable people who are already suffering from a devastating condition that inherently has a high recidivism rate, that can be very destructive to the individual and in itself become a hindrance to recovery.

My best advice is to don't stop trying, do what works for you, learn from your mistakes and think for yourself. By the way, it wasn't my best thinking that lead me to a drinking problem, it was my worst thinking...and probably some genetics.

aasharon90

90 meetings in 90 days was always a good
suggestion heard from time to time in meetings.

No one including myself thought i really had
a problem with drinking. I just ran off the road
hitting a concrete culvert sitting on top the
ground back in Feb. 1990. Spent 10 day in
the hospital with numerous broken ribs, a
punctured spleen which was removed are i
would have bled to death. I healed quite nicely
in 3 months with no alcohol...just pain pills
till there was no pain to heal.....

Aug. 1990....i went right back to the same bar
repeating the same thing except this time when
i got home, i tried to end my miserable life....

My family stepped in with an intervention and
i spent 28 days in rehab. recieving the TOOLS
& KNOWLEDGE OF MY DISEASE before i was set
on the path of recovery.

I sat in meeting after meetings listening,
absorbing everything and thinking i wasnt
like any of those people....yet in time i realized
their stories were similar to my own......

I am one of those that doesnt like to be
TOLD what to do, however if it was
suggested to me then id probably try
it.

To see all those before me with many
one days at a time collected to get them
to where they r today then the program
must work.

Those people followed simple suggestions
such as dont think, dont drink and go to
meetings. Or stay away from people places
and things that remind u of alcohol. and
so on.

I didnt lose it all such as family cars etc.
I didnt end up in the gutter somewheres.
So I thought i must not be an alcoholic.

However when i heard what happened to
those who drank too much or couldnt stop...
the horrible not normal things, then i didnt
feel alone in my feelings.

I finally felt like i belong somewheres in
this life and thus didnt feel alone anymore.

AA is a good way of life following the steps
provided to us in the Big Book of Alcoholics
Anonymous. And today I am happy joyous
and free......Just a few of the promises
u will recieve as time goes on and u live
each day sober.

Keep going to meetings till u WANT to go.


Hi Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.

By the grace of my HP and the program
of Alcoholics Anonymous I havent found
it necessary to pick up a drink of alcohol
since 8-11-90.

For that and the fellowship of our awesome
program im truely grateful.

Thanks for letting me share.

CarolD

Tommy....

Please do keep trying any and everything you can think of.

And do look the list of recovery programs I gave you
in my earlier reply. ..
I've found SMART's approach beneficial
for me with some issues ..after I got sober.

Best to you

Dee74

Hi Tommy

I don't do AA - but I don't want to fight either LOL.

I think no matter what you do, what programme or lack of programme, the bottom line is it's our responsibility. Meetings or steps or therapy or prayer don't keep you sober if you're not committed IMO.

Very few people do it alone - whether you have God on your side, or family...or, like me, the good people of SR - I still think the buck ultimately stops with us.

If you want recovery, you have to work for it - and be willing to do whatever it takes not to pick up that drink....

but I vehemently reject the notion that we have to suffer a certain amount for recovery to 'take'.

Good luck - check out all your options
D

BKP

I have been thinking about all the crap and problems that i have caused people when i drank and what the hell i was doing (behaviors) and this is reason why i am here. A drink is a moment of relaxation and not worth it, the problems, depression and sicknesses and the legal issues. Keep ya head up.