OMG Alcoholism is ruining what my life could be
Eyes Wide Shut
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: nowhere PA
Posts: 1
OMG Alcoholism is ruining what my life could be
Hello everyone,
Im new here but not new to drinking to excess. For the past 20 years Ive been a heavy drinker, but in the last 4 years it has gotten to the point where I blackout almost everynight and my behavior has changed so drastically. Ive become someone who functions, but doesnt live. Everything overwhelms me and nothing pleases me. So yesterday was my first sober day and today is day two. So far I dont feel too bad, but Im scared to death that I will rationalize having another drink and once i have one its off to the races. I remember telling my Doctor about my problems months ago and that day was the greatest feeling of weight being lifted. Unfortunately I continued to drink since them.
I feel so out of control that the control freak in me decided to grab the reins and pull back hard, I dont know what to expect next. How does it feel to be sober for longer thatn one day, is it scary? I dont remember the last time i didnt have too much to drink at night. Never before 5 though as if that means anything. I always made up for it at 5:01.
Im new here but not new to drinking to excess. For the past 20 years Ive been a heavy drinker, but in the last 4 years it has gotten to the point where I blackout almost everynight and my behavior has changed so drastically. Ive become someone who functions, but doesnt live. Everything overwhelms me and nothing pleases me. So yesterday was my first sober day and today is day two. So far I dont feel too bad, but Im scared to death that I will rationalize having another drink and once i have one its off to the races. I remember telling my Doctor about my problems months ago and that day was the greatest feeling of weight being lifted. Unfortunately I continued to drink since them.
I feel so out of control that the control freak in me decided to grab the reins and pull back hard, I dont know what to expect next. How does it feel to be sober for longer thatn one day, is it scary? I dont remember the last time i didnt have too much to drink at night. Never before 5 though as if that means anything. I always made up for it at 5:01.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Hi there
Wow thats sounds so familiar! Mine was 4pm! And i never drunk in the mornings...whoopee doo! I was drinking everyday too, got in a right mess mentally! i needed some help so went to counseller and was given anti depressants and antabuse which i am still taking, this will be the 11th week sober!
Initially it was quite scary but after a week it got better. I feel so much better now and it is still early days so im seriously looking forward to this year!
It is so so much better not drinking it is amazing, and i am so greateful to be sober, really really grateful (there are no words to describe it!).
If i can do it, you can do it that's for sure! i'm 37 and had a good 20 years behind me too!
Go for it and keep coming back here, it really helps!
Wow thats sounds so familiar! Mine was 4pm! And i never drunk in the mornings...whoopee doo! I was drinking everyday too, got in a right mess mentally! i needed some help so went to counseller and was given anti depressants and antabuse which i am still taking, this will be the 11th week sober!
Initially it was quite scary but after a week it got better. I feel so much better now and it is still early days so im seriously looking forward to this year!
It is so so much better not drinking it is amazing, and i am so greateful to be sober, really really grateful (there are no words to describe it!).
If i can do it, you can do it that's for sure! i'm 37 and had a good 20 years behind me too!
Go for it and keep coming back here, it really helps!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Tamworth
Posts: 14
It does get better after a few days you just have to persevere. I used to drink every day, gave up for a while then became a binge drinker. Few weeks off, then back to messing myself up for a few weeks until I was too ill to go on!
Apparently it takes at least 72 hours to get all the alcohol out of your system. Usually a week before sleeping become relatively normal. Just hang in there. Good luck.
Apparently it takes at least 72 hours to get all the alcohol out of your system. Usually a week before sleeping become relatively normal. Just hang in there. Good luck.
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Hey Chris,
Sobriety Rocks! It is worth the struggle to get the monkey off your back! I was a functional alcoholic. Worked two jobs , married w/kids. Happy hour was my escape.
I found this link on SR very helpful when I realized that I needed to stop drinking but kept falling back into the bottle:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
it helped me to understand how my entire body was addicted to the alcohol. No wonder I couldn't moderate my drinking.
Changing my routines helped me get past the happy hour whispers (shouts). Try going to a bookstore, library or meeting instead of heading for the booze.
Read and post as much as needed. Welcome!
Sobriety Rocks! It is worth the struggle to get the monkey off your back! I was a functional alcoholic. Worked two jobs , married w/kids. Happy hour was my escape.
I found this link on SR very helpful when I realized that I needed to stop drinking but kept falling back into the bottle:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
it helped me to understand how my entire body was addicted to the alcohol. No wonder I couldn't moderate my drinking.
Changing my routines helped me get past the happy hour whispers (shouts). Try going to a bookstore, library or meeting instead of heading for the booze.
Read and post as much as needed. Welcome!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to our recovery community....
If you would like to know about de toxing from alcoholic...
tomorrow might be really unpleasant..who knows?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
Do keep posting...many of us have gone from daily drinking
to daily recovery....
If you would like to know about de toxing from alcoholic...
tomorrow might be really unpleasant..who knows?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
Do keep posting...many of us have gone from daily drinking
to daily recovery....
What comes around, Goes around
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Warren Mi
Posts: 170
I liked the feeling of Jim Beam running through my veins and I always hated the way I felt in the morning. I think I quit a million times in the morning when I woke up for work. How does it feel to be sober more than 1 day---It feels great and hope you can feel it soon for yourself.
You can do it.
You can do it.
Helping Others, Helps Me
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: North Dakota
Posts: 481
Drinking was ruining my entire life as I knew it, and I am 24. Everything was falling apart....However, It is never too late to turn it all around! And we have to start somewhere. People that knew me and heard I was one week sober were like cool, until you do it again. One month, okay he is kind of serious. Two months, I feel great and my loved ones are starting to let their guards down a bit, but it is still fresh in their minds. But I am better off than I was two months ago!
I always look at it like this when I get that craving: That the drinking me was not a happy me, and I will not drink today. I am a better person when I am sober, and people like me, sober.
My last drunks I was getting kicked out of or cut off everywhere, and not being very fun to be around, spending too much money.... Even though I only remember parts, I am still ashamed of what people thought about me. And I cannot really say that I had "fun" when going out like that.
Then I got my 2nd DWI for STUPID reasons that I easily could have avoided or would have done sober....but being a negligent drunk I didn't. I have not picked up since that night. I call the series of events that transpired those 48 hours after my dwi, a life changing miracle.
I also am a regular, AA attendee, usually once a week if I can. But it took me going to several meetings to find one that worked for me and I felt a part of.
You can do it! I can promise you one thing, I will not drink today...and will be a better person because of it.
I always look at it like this when I get that craving: That the drinking me was not a happy me, and I will not drink today. I am a better person when I am sober, and people like me, sober.
My last drunks I was getting kicked out of or cut off everywhere, and not being very fun to be around, spending too much money.... Even though I only remember parts, I am still ashamed of what people thought about me. And I cannot really say that I had "fun" when going out like that.
Then I got my 2nd DWI for STUPID reasons that I easily could have avoided or would have done sober....but being a negligent drunk I didn't. I have not picked up since that night. I call the series of events that transpired those 48 hours after my dwi, a life changing miracle.
I also am a regular, AA attendee, usually once a week if I can. But it took me going to several meetings to find one that worked for me and I felt a part of.
You can do it! I can promise you one thing, I will not drink today...and will be a better person because of it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 52
I am 37 and have a story very similar to yours. Actually got to point where I would go to work so I could get started earlier. Go figure..This site is great, reading post, chat room, great people at various stages of recovery, everyone here has been there and done that which makes the credibility factor go through the roof. Today is day 21 for me, and this site has been hands down the best therapy/treatment for me personally, so far. I look forward to getting on and educating myself, reading other peoples stories, getting advice, and just talking to other people like me. Hope you find what you're looking for. Good luck as you begin your journey. Hope to see you around.
Absolute Evil
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Charlotte NC
Posts: 206
37 days, here.
I was the same as you, when I was younger. Then I quit & started back after 3 years sober. I never progressed back to every night, but if there were any holidays, you could bank on my being drunk. On vacation/PTO days, too...
Any night that I didn't have to work in the morning, I drank until I dropped.
Hell, I didn't even want to stop. I just knew I HAD to, for my health (diabetes).
I was the same as you, when I was younger. Then I quit & started back after 3 years sober. I never progressed back to every night, but if there were any holidays, you could bank on my being drunk. On vacation/PTO days, too...
Any night that I didn't have to work in the morning, I drank until I dropped.
Hell, I didn't even want to stop. I just knew I HAD to, for my health (diabetes).
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