Relapsed- in the blionk of an eye, a year gone.....
Absolute Evil
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Charlotte NC
Posts: 206
Try to not be too hard on yourself.
This is one of those things I dislike about AA. The whole "starting over again" bit when you screw up.
Unless you fell into a full-fledged relapse of hardcore binge drinking or whatever, just say "ooops" and get back on the wagon. Think of it as a hiccup in an otherwise normal day.
No need to do the white chip, etc. all over again.
This is one of those things I dislike about AA. The whole "starting over again" bit when you screw up.
Unless you fell into a full-fledged relapse of hardcore binge drinking or whatever, just say "ooops" and get back on the wagon. Think of it as a hiccup in an otherwise normal day.
No need to do the white chip, etc. all over again.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Carl, I threw 4 years out the window at one time. Walking back into my home group was the hardest thing I ever had to do. You know what? No one judged me. I was welcomed with open arms.
I've got to stay rigorously honest or this disease will kill me.
I've got to stay rigorously honest or this disease will kill me.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
It's good to hear from you again, Carl. It's your choice, what you decide to do, but when I relapsed after a couple of years, I walked to the front of the room and collected that newcomer chip again. I had to put my pride where it belonged - in my back pocket. Two years later, I again collected a newcomer chip after I drank.
If I did not collect my chip, or acknowledge my relapse, it would have been so easy to continue drinking on the sly every few months or so. I have a couple of acquaintances who do just this. When I ask why they don't publicly acknowledge their relapse, they say that they wish to wait until they get some more sobriety under their belt before letting anyone know. And guess what? They keep going back out.
Please continue to let us know how you are doing.
If I did not collect my chip, or acknowledge my relapse, it would have been so easy to continue drinking on the sly every few months or so. I have a couple of acquaintances who do just this. When I ask why they don't publicly acknowledge their relapse, they say that they wish to wait until they get some more sobriety under their belt before letting anyone know. And guess what? They keep going back out.
Please continue to let us know how you are doing.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: SE and then South some more
Posts: 2,648
Carl glad you made it back. I stick to what my first sponsor told me "no matter what, no matter what", and as well my personal mantra "there is no option".
I agree with all the others on your year, that's awesome!!!!! Glad you're back.
I agree with all the others on your year, that's awesome!!!!! Glad you're back.
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
Hi CarlBetween 1980 and 2005, my Sobriety was like a revolving door . . . round and round and round and round . . . Looking back, most times when I came back, I didn't admit to one single person that I had went back out. Man, it was too easy to walk in, tell everyone I had been going to different meetings at different times when in reality, the only "meeting" I had been to was meeting the dope boy at the bar.
Don't beat yourself up over this. Your disease wants nothing more than to have complete control again and by using guilt and shame, it's that much easier.
I hope you'll stick around on SR and share your Journey with us.
God Bless
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 32
I agree with The Master. You've been sober 401 days out of 404 days. That should be your focus. One of my main problems with AA is that when a person has a slip-up, they're made to feel as though they're starting over, from day 1, square 1. No wonder so many people, when they slip up, go on a long binge, figuring what the hell, they're starting all over from the beginning again anyway. You're not starting over from the beginning (unless you continue your binge). Your brain chemistry, liver, and other parts of your body are still enjoying the effects of 401 days of abstinence from alcohol--why not focus on that, and pick up where you left off?
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Birmingham, AL
Posts: 1,924
TheMaster and Renee,
The reasons I started over from scratch in AA each time I drank is simple; if I drank then I obviously did not have a grasp of not drinking. I have been going to meetings consistently for 34 years, but I have only been sober since 4/28/2003; each time I drank, I started over. I didn't want to start at Step One again, I knew far too much information; I have had one year several times and went back out. I have had two and ahalf years before my last binge, but I started over each time. Each time I got a new white chip; what a collection I used to have. No one is asking the newcomer to erase any past recovery progress, though we each must get to a level of honesty and willingness that allows for humility in all of our affairs. If you are unwilling to start from the First Step, you are not willing to do it another way besides your own. The answers to recovery from Alcoholism are contained in the Big Book and no one is made to feel anything, we are not powerful. If you want what we have, do as we do, but please do not try to make AA responsible for your inabilty to get sober. Honesty, openminedness and willingness are the keys to recovery. I wish you well!
The reasons I started over from scratch in AA each time I drank is simple; if I drank then I obviously did not have a grasp of not drinking. I have been going to meetings consistently for 34 years, but I have only been sober since 4/28/2003; each time I drank, I started over. I didn't want to start at Step One again, I knew far too much information; I have had one year several times and went back out. I have had two and ahalf years before my last binge, but I started over each time. Each time I got a new white chip; what a collection I used to have. No one is asking the newcomer to erase any past recovery progress, though we each must get to a level of honesty and willingness that allows for humility in all of our affairs. If you are unwilling to start from the First Step, you are not willing to do it another way besides your own. The answers to recovery from Alcoholism are contained in the Big Book and no one is made to feel anything, we are not powerful. If you want what we have, do as we do, but please do not try to make AA responsible for your inabilty to get sober. Honesty, openminedness and willingness are the keys to recovery. I wish you well!
trying to get it..
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: California
Posts: 286
Well got laid off last week....Tuesday. I bet some of you can guess what came next...I drank....for 4 days...its like I revisit the spot on an oval track..wind up back at square one....and to be as honest as I can right now, it wasn’t juts the job...thats was the excuse...
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,243
Hi Carl,
That's a very dangerous spot for you right now. Having the time to drink almost killed me after quitting my job. I thought I would just relax at home but having the time to drink all day quickly took me to new levels and eventually a detox hospital. It's early in Calif, call someone sober and get some help. I do get those calls from people needing help and I am always glad that they call. They were there for me and I will remember that for the rest of my life.
That's a very dangerous spot for you right now. Having the time to drink almost killed me after quitting my job. I thought I would just relax at home but having the time to drink all day quickly took me to new levels and eventually a detox hospital. It's early in Calif, call someone sober and get some help. I do get those calls from people needing help and I am always glad that they call. They were there for me and I will remember that for the rest of my life.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: witness protection program
Posts: 378
Originally Posted by Rob B 
EXACTLY.Our basic text tells us where our dependence should be. As a sponsor I am to "remind my prospect that his recovery is not dependent upon his relationship with people. It is dependent upon his relationship with God"
Meetings are a vital PART, However it is important to be grounded in all 3 parts of the program. Lots of folks fall victim to the everpopular belief that meeting makers make it. If that's all they are doing They don't last long. It's like holding your breath, can't do it forever.
How was your prayer and meditation life like prior to your relapse. Working with the strict disciplines of steps 10-11? Current on ALL ammends, sponsoring others? Carry the message? I get the priveledge of working with a lot of relapser, inevitably they had stopped doing most if not all of the above. Glad you made it back and hope these considerations are helpful to you.
Meetings are a vital PART, However it is important to be grounded in all 3 parts of the program. Lots of folks fall victim to the everpopular belief that meeting makers make it. If that's all they are doing They don't last long. It's like holding your breath, can't do it forever.
How was your prayer and meditation life like prior to your relapse. Working with the strict disciplines of steps 10-11? Current on ALL ammends, sponsoring others? Carry the message? I get the priveledge of working with a lot of relapser, inevitably they had stopped doing most if not all of the above. Glad you made it back and hope these considerations are helpful to you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Allentown, PA
Posts: 23
job or no job, house or no house, wife or no wife, we just don't drink one day at a time.
P.S.
If your arsse falls off...put it in a wheelbarrow and take it to a meeting. Call somebody soon. Either your'e getting busy dyin, or getting busy living. Which do you choose?
P.S.
If your arsse falls off...put it in a wheelbarrow and take it to a meeting. Call somebody soon. Either your'e getting busy dyin, or getting busy living. Which do you choose?
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
I'm glad to see that you admit that it wasn't just the job loss that sent you out again.
Obviously right now you have quite a bit of time on your hands so hit the Meetings hard my friend. You said you were laid off so I assume this means you will be eligible for unemployment. I'm a firm believer that there is a silver lining in every cloud. Use this time to work full time on your Recovery. You can still job hunt but we all know that no one job hunts from 6:00 am - midnight 7 days a week. There's plenty of time in there to get to several Meetings a day and still find another job.
I got laid off from the highest paying job I ever had in Feb. of 2005. I spent the next 5 months just wallowing in self pity, drinking and drugging into complete oblivion. When I finally surrendered in July, I still had unemployment time and put myself into an IOP, went to at least 2 Meetings a day. I was in the fight for my life and I knew it. I looked at losing my job at God doing for me what I could not do for myself. I would have never, ever went into detox, treatment and 2 Meetings a day if I were still working.
I hope you will stick around this time, please don't disappear again. We need you here just as much as you need us.
In my Prayers,
Judy
Obviously right now you have quite a bit of time on your hands so hit the Meetings hard my friend. You said you were laid off so I assume this means you will be eligible for unemployment. I'm a firm believer that there is a silver lining in every cloud. Use this time to work full time on your Recovery. You can still job hunt but we all know that no one job hunts from 6:00 am - midnight 7 days a week. There's plenty of time in there to get to several Meetings a day and still find another job.
I got laid off from the highest paying job I ever had in Feb. of 2005. I spent the next 5 months just wallowing in self pity, drinking and drugging into complete oblivion. When I finally surrendered in July, I still had unemployment time and put myself into an IOP, went to at least 2 Meetings a day. I was in the fight for my life and I knew it. I looked at losing my job at God doing for me what I could not do for myself. I would have never, ever went into detox, treatment and 2 Meetings a day if I were still working.
I hope you will stick around this time, please don't disappear again. We need you here just as much as you need us.
In my Prayers,
Judy
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Birmingham, AL
Posts: 1,924
Carl11,
Do you want to be sober? If the answer is maybe, I would suggest trying controlled drinking again, because from your posts, you do not sound like one who is ready to recover. Get full of booze my friend or not. Find a Powser greater than you or not.
I know little Carl, but I know this; anyone who works to Steps consistently learns to live the Steps. If you have truly worked the Steps One through Twelve, I am not telling you anything new. Get honest, get willing and make a decision.
Do you want to be sober? If the answer is maybe, I would suggest trying controlled drinking again, because from your posts, you do not sound like one who is ready to recover. Get full of booze my friend or not. Find a Powser greater than you or not.
I know little Carl, but I know this; anyone who works to Steps consistently learns to live the Steps. If you have truly worked the Steps One through Twelve, I am not telling you anything new. Get honest, get willing and make a decision.
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