BackToSquareOne

I've read a lot about the progression of alcoholism but there seems to be a sub group that breaks all the rules. The functional drunk can often live out their entire life and never cross that imaginary line, they never lose their jobs, houses, or really much of anything at all. They never seem to go past the middle stages of alcoholism. They may have their little scrapes here and there but they seem to get by unscathed as compared to the non-functional low bottom variety.

I have known many people who fit into this catagory and contrary to popular belief they don't all progress to the end stages of alcoholism. All in all I would have to say that I have known more functional drunks than the low bottom non functional variety. Any thoughts as to why some never make the fulll progression?

Bamboozle

I have a question...when you say that they never make this full progression, do you mean that they are living sober now, or that they are still drinking and haven't made it to the end-stage?

doorknob

That's an interesting question, BTSO. I never progressed past the middle stages, and if anything had improved some over when I was at my worst, and was holding ground pretty well. Maybe it has to do with how much a person is genetically predisposed. Some people seem to be instant alki's, and others, like myself, worked at it long and hard, with a significant period of normalcy.

least

Maybe their 'luck' just hasn't run out - yet.

Pinkcuda

Alcoholism and consequences of alcoholism are two different things. DUIs, Divorce, Jails, Job Loss, Etc... happen to everyone regardless of whether they drink or not.
Of the "Functional Drunks" I know and I was, How functional are we really. One severe alcoholic I know has never had any of the obvious consequences. Financially he is in better shape than anyone I know.(read selfish into this) He'll probably be dead before he's 60
How complete is the life of a fructional drunk? We may find that they do well in some areas but not others.
How is the balance between Themselves, Job, God and Family. You'll probably find it to be non existant.

findingout

Hmm, I guess it depends on how you define "functional". I come from a family of functional drunks and, so far, only one of us has actually died as a result of her alcoholism. I suppose that is as non-functional as you can get.

I went as far down as I ever care to and yet I still had a job (barely), a house, a 401k, and a bunch of other outward symbols of a functional human being. Inside, I was not functioning mentally, physically or spiritually. As to the last, I didn't even know what it meant to function spiritually and didn't care. But even if I leave that out, I was still a far cry from a functional human being. If you could not tell that from looking at me or at my possessions then my plan was working. Part of my defense was to convince other people that my life was better than it was so I could continue to drink. I put a lot of effort into appearing to be functional. Appearances can be deceiving.

BackToSquareOne

Bam, these people never quit but somehow they are able to remain functional. I have 3 uncles who lived out their entire lives like this and they never lost anything. All alcoholics are different and they all don't seem to totally self destruct.

I was always a binge type drinker and once I started all bets were off. I would never make it very long as a functional drunk. I was always amazed by those that can pull this off.

Omega Man

Different speeds of progression - some fast, some slow. Given enough time, everyone who is truely drinking "alcoholically" will hit a bottom.
I've managed to maintain a good career, home, family, etc but I was definitely progressing down the alcoholic spectrum. If I hadn't gotten out when I did, I have no doubt that I would have lost it all.

And why the hell do they call alcoholism progressive - it's regressive. Eventually you either end up in diapers and drooling or not here at all.

flutter

Sometimes the outward "losses" that you don't see, don't compare to the inner destruction (mental, physical, emotional) that you also don't see.

I also was 'functioning' during all of my drinking if you want to guage that by having a job, a house, no duis, a husband, friends... But inside I was dying. The need for the drink, the shame of it, the fear, emotional numbness.. fake smiles.. fake 'functioning'.

They aren't truly fully functional.. if they were, they wouldn't drink.

bugsworth

I echo what BTSO says...I work in a industry where I see many 80 year old alcoholics...drank their who lives but managed to not have any of the extreme destruction that comes from drinking alcoholically.

We are as different as our fingerprints...no two people experience the exact same things.

gravity

I have many friends and relatives who are heavy drinkers (eg. 5+ drinks each day or weekend out-of-control binge drinkers) and they still maintain jobs, homes, and have happy families. Occasional drinking related issues but they don't stop. Their drinking isn't getting worse. I don't know how they feel on the inside but they seem to be happy with their lives. It's not for me to judge but if asked, I would say that they are not alcoholics - no progression, no mental anguish. Other than the health effects, drinking seems to work for them.

I also can't judge what other people value in life. Some people would rather live a certain lifestyle than, say, own a home, pursue a career, or raise a family. Nothing wrong with that. It's not up to me to determine someone elses values.

Omega Man

Well said. Some people are content to just make it through life. I'd rather Live Life!

Ready to Change

This is the first time I've honestly read or heard something that I totally relate with.

I was at my lowest point several years ago. I drink much less now, but when I do, it seems the result is worse. But it's not every day. Or every week.

I've learned to "maintain" my problem. And hide it from everyone, really well, I managed to quit smoking AND lose about 30 pounds in about 3 months. Everyone is amazed at how good I look. And they think "temporary drinking problem" a few years ago is gone. Because I keep it to myself now. When I'm in a social situation I have 1 or 2 drinks, then stop. Then I go home in finish a large bottle of vodka. And it goes on for a few days, I stop, go through withdrawal, and do it again a few weekends later. Nobody ever sees me drunk anymore. Only people online, this message board and many others, sometimes I read my messages the next day and I'm shocked and disgusted.

-not functioning so well right now....

I'm making a new topic now, that's what I came here for. Sorry for the repeat.

CAPTAINZING2000

dunno

sure p1sses me off though the lucky #@*$%*%*


Nah, like me for who, I am today

j0hn0than1964

I can certainly identify with this one, I had been drinking at rather alarming rates for a long period of time. I was drinking a ton for the last decade all the way into my mid 40's. I always had good jobs a nice place and friends (well drinking friends). I did not have any legal trouble either, it was not until the last few months of my using that my alcoholism began to show me how unhappy I was. Due to my drinking I moved out of my house away from my fiance and my 8 month old little girl as requested. My dog and I moved out that same day into a nice fully furnished corporate apt. I had my drinking buddies over and acted as if all was not only fine it was better. Here is where it goes down hill quickly, now with all this time to drink as much as I like and reflect upon myself, I found myself to be very lonely and terribly unhappy. I started drinking 24/7 also that same weekend. This is just what it took me to understand just what I was and how much help I needed. I checked into rehab not to long after that weekend and have been sober since.

I too spent all kinds of time presenting myself in a way that all was fine and I was a happy as I could be. I am so glad all that is over.

In closing I agree there can be a fine line of a functional alcoholic in perspective, but not in practice for the alcoholic.

JT

Ready to Change

If I was really functioning I wouldn't be here in the first place. I can probably keep this up until I die. From liver failure. It is killing me on the inside. And sometimes I got weeks without a drop, then I go over the deep end. At those times I've lied in bed crying and saying "I want to die".

CAPTAINZING2000

I know what you're saying

I just crossed over that line one drunken night.

I said to my self, that's it, I surrender !! I can't do this anymore!!

Ready to Change

Does anyone else that can relate to this sometimes think it would be better to cross that invisible "line", get rid of the "functioning" thing, give up and let someone help? Everyone thinks I'm doing so good. I do it once in a while, and sometimes go a little too far. Just like "normal" people do.

Sorry for excessive " "

CAPTAINZING2000

if


you're an alcoholic, the fun eventually runs out

That's how I knew it was over for me.


Hiding out when, I drank. I lowered the bar. I used to never drink alone

Omega Man

Ready to Change - I posted this about 10 days on another thread, so yeah I can relate.
"I was so completely hopeless and desperate that I was hoping that I would get pulled over for a DUI. I thought about walking into my bosses office wasted just so I would get fired; a million thoughts like that, even some about harming myself. Anything that would force an absolute ugly bottom and end it one way or another.
Lucky for me none of that happen. What did happen is that I finally just surrendered to the fact that I am a full blown alcoholic and asked for help"

Where am I at now? Sober 28 days, happy and getting better everyday. Everything is better, my health, my family, my work, everything.
You can get there too - there is hope you know.