Functional Drunks
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
For years I laughted that I was busy putting the fun
into the term "functioning alcoholic"
The reality that I was not being the woman I was meant to be.
I was settleing for less than the best of me.
Recovery Really Rocks....
into the term "functioning alcoholic"
The reality that I was not being the woman I was meant to be.
I was settleing for less than the best of me.
Recovery Really Rocks....
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
I was a functional drunk. When i went to the psychiatrist 11 weeks ago he asked how on earth do i hold down a job, i had it down to a tee...a few beers (6/7) then 2 bottles of wine or 3/4 750ml bottle of bacardi, every night, and i could 'function' kind of...
It all came to a head, with me anyway, and i could see where this was going...another 6 months i don't reckon i would have cared much to be that functional anymore.
I met a head surgeon at an AA meeting in my home town, he had been drinking for ages, approx bottle of vodka a day (no mixers) and he was practising, and had an amazing reputation...now thats a functioning alcoholic;-)
It all came to a head, with me anyway, and i could see where this was going...another 6 months i don't reckon i would have cared much to be that functional anymore.
I met a head surgeon at an AA meeting in my home town, he had been drinking for ages, approx bottle of vodka a day (no mixers) and he was practising, and had an amazing reputation...now thats a functioning alcoholic;-)
trying to get it..
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: California
Posts: 286
I went for yeeeaaarrrs as a functional alcoholic, in what I think is the biggest collection of those, the military.
It’s manly to drink, its manly to puke your guts up on a 5 mile run and still make it.
But you have to read the fine print. You TAKE IT WITH YOU. I did. And as a civilian after several years I crashed and burned. No, it didn’t happen all at once, I didn’t lose my family, but I did put my job in jeopardy.
AND I lost my self respect. What’s the price tag on that?
Waking up one day, you’re 48 and look and feel 65......
Drinking my sons mouthwash, that my wife forgot to throw out.....
The functional alchie imho ahs a more deep seated destructive streak than the out and out alchie. At least they are honest about it, but we, those that are stealth alchies, well, we love slow death instead of just crash and burning, the death of a thousand cuts.
It’s manly to drink, its manly to puke your guts up on a 5 mile run and still make it.
But you have to read the fine print. You TAKE IT WITH YOU. I did. And as a civilian after several years I crashed and burned. No, it didn’t happen all at once, I didn’t lose my family, but I did put my job in jeopardy.
AND I lost my self respect. What’s the price tag on that?
Waking up one day, you’re 48 and look and feel 65......
Drinking my sons mouthwash, that my wife forgot to throw out.....
The functional alchie imho ahs a more deep seated destructive streak than the out and out alchie. At least they are honest about it, but we, those that are stealth alchies, well, we love slow death instead of just crash and burning, the death of a thousand cuts.
Knucklehead
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Davenport, WA
Posts: 4,005
Originally Posted by doorknob 
That's an interesting question, BTSO. I never progressed past the middle stages, and if anything had improved some over when I was at my worst, and was holding ground pretty well.
Originally Posted by Ready to Change
This is the first time I've honestly read or heard something that I totally relate with.
I was at my lowest point several years ago. I drink much less now, but when I do, it seems the result is worse. But it's not every day. Or every week.
I've learned to "maintain" my problem. And hide it from everyone, really well, I managed to quit smoking AND lose about 30 pounds in about 3 months. Everyone is amazed at how good I look. And they think "temporary drinking problem" a few years ago is gone. Because I keep it to myself now. When I'm in a social situation I have 1 or 2 drinks, then stop. Then I go home in finish a large bottle of vodka. And it goes on for a few days, I stop, go through withdrawal, and do it again a few weekends later. Nobody ever sees me drunk anymore. Only people online, this message board and many others, sometimes I read my messages the next day and I'm shocked and disgusted.
I was at my lowest point several years ago. I drink much less now, but when I do, it seems the result is worse. But it's not every day. Or every week.
I've learned to "maintain" my problem. And hide it from everyone, really well, I managed to quit smoking AND lose about 30 pounds in about 3 months. Everyone is amazed at how good I look. And they think "temporary drinking problem" a few years ago is gone. Because I keep it to myself now. When I'm in a social situation I have 1 or 2 drinks, then stop. Then I go home in finish a large bottle of vodka. And it goes on for a few days, I stop, go through withdrawal, and do it again a few weekends later. Nobody ever sees me drunk anymore. Only people online, this message board and many others, sometimes I read my messages the next day and I'm shocked and disgusted.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 57
As others have said, you don't know whether a "functional" alcoholic is really leading a happy and productive life, or if they just keep it together enough to put up a good front. I think there is a lot more to life than having a job that you don't get fired from, not going to jail, and not losing your material possessions. These people may be living in depression but they don't let anyone know about it.
Maybe there is a hidden blessing in having an alcohol problem that some people here are missing. Aren't there people out here in this group that can say that having to give up alcohol is the best thing that ever happened to them? That their lives are more enriched, happy, loving, fulfilled, and spiritual now that they don't drink? That they replaced drinking with something more productive. That they replaced their drunk friends with those who want to experience more out of life than going to bars. That they now have a zero percent chance of a DUI. That their relationships with their spouse and kids have improved. That their lives have changed profoundly? The blessing is that if drinking did not become a serious problem in your life, you probably would never have gone through this life changing experience. The point is that the functional alcoholic or nonalcoholic will never go through this experience.
I want to look at it that way, instead of thinking that not being able to drink is a curse. I think the fact that I don't drink anymore is a blessing and will lead to me to realizing my potential. Additionally, to the extent an alcoholic can become clean is a monumental life accomplishment that should give that person a great sense of pride and fulfillment, instead of a feeling of "I got jipped."
Maybe there is a hidden blessing in having an alcohol problem that some people here are missing. Aren't there people out here in this group that can say that having to give up alcohol is the best thing that ever happened to them? That their lives are more enriched, happy, loving, fulfilled, and spiritual now that they don't drink? That they replaced drinking with something more productive. That they replaced their drunk friends with those who want to experience more out of life than going to bars. That they now have a zero percent chance of a DUI. That their relationships with their spouse and kids have improved. That their lives have changed profoundly? The blessing is that if drinking did not become a serious problem in your life, you probably would never have gone through this life changing experience. The point is that the functional alcoholic or nonalcoholic will never go through this experience.
I want to look at it that way, instead of thinking that not being able to drink is a curse. I think the fact that I don't drink anymore is a blessing and will lead to me to realizing my potential. Additionally, to the extent an alcoholic can become clean is a monumental life accomplishment that should give that person a great sense of pride and fulfillment, instead of a feeling of "I got jipped."
Ending the Old Me.
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Under a Rock
Posts: 377
Ralph - that is one of the most insightful and accurate things I've seen here.
I have always taken so much for granted that I doubt that if I hadn't progressed into alcoholism that I never would have been able to recognize how lucky and blessed I have been. And when I was drinking everything was an obstacle, now everything is an opportunity.
Thanks for that post - perfect for a Sunday morning.
I have always taken so much for granted that I doubt that if I hadn't progressed into alcoholism that I never would have been able to recognize how lucky and blessed I have been. And when I was drinking everything was an obstacle, now everything is an opportunity.
Thanks for that post - perfect for a Sunday morning.
I got nothin'
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
Originally Posted by ralph9898
The point is that the...nonalcoholic will never go through this experience.
I've know plently of folks who do not and have not abused any substances and these people live very fulfilling lives. They live life to the fullest...they love life and have something about them that allows them to do this...I wish I had it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 52
Originally Posted by Omega Man
Ready to Change - I posted this about 10 days on another thread, so yeah I can relate.
"I was so completely hopeless and desperate that I was hoping that I would get pulled over for a DUI. I thought about walking into my bosses office wasted just so I would get fired; a million thoughts like that, even some about harming myself. Anything that would force an absolute ugly bottom and end it one way or another.
Lucky for me none of that happen. What did happen is that I finally just surrendered to the fact that I am a full blown alcoholic and asked for help"
Where am I at now? Sober 28 days, happy and getting better everyday. Everything is better, my health, my family, my work, everything.
You can get there too - there is hope you know.
"I was so completely hopeless and desperate that I was hoping that I would get pulled over for a DUI. I thought about walking into my bosses office wasted just so I would get fired; a million thoughts like that, even some about harming myself. Anything that would force an absolute ugly bottom and end it one way or another.
Lucky for me none of that happen. What did happen is that I finally just surrendered to the fact that I am a full blown alcoholic and asked for help"
Where am I at now? Sober 28 days, happy and getting better everyday. Everything is better, my health, my family, my work, everything.
You can get there too - there is hope you know.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 57
It wasn't my point to say that non-substance abusers don't live a fulfilling life. I was trying to point out the positive experience of a substance abuser that figures it out and works hard to overcome it, which is something that the non-substance abuser doesn't have to go through. And I was really intending this post to apply to the "functional alcoholic" or nonalcoholic that drinks on a regular basis. Obviously I am not trying to put anyone down that goes through life without abusing any substances.
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
Originally Posted by Bamboozle
I've know plently of folks who do not and have not abused any substances and these people live very fulfilling lives. They live life to the fullest...they love life and have something about them that allows them to do this...I wish I had it.
I also know many people who abuse alcohol and are living great lives. They are good parents, home owners, have good jobs, and are awesome, caring friends. They just like getting hammered occasionally.
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