Krissy2007

I feel like I want to drink. Not just drink - I want to get drunk and pass out and stop thinking.

This is my second sober New Year's - I celebrated my one year anniversary on 11/26/08. Some days are just harder than others I guess. Today, I feel tired of being responsible, of doing the next right thing, of going to work and paying my bills, of going to meetings, of doing service work, of everything.

I know the answer - go to more meetings, call my sponsor, work the steps.

I am just being stubborn today. It will pass. As long as I don't drink. And, I won't. I just wanted to share that I am feeling this way today.

TTOSBT

Krissy,
I am sorry that you are feeling this way. But at least you know that this shall pass!

CarolD

Good to see you here with us again...

Prayer helps me immensley

Ananda

thank you for being willing to share that with us. I too have been there and it does sck.

I just do the best i can to stick to the normal stuff for the program and to not let myself run.

I know for me the first year was absolutely wonderful at least 70% of the time. i'ts my 2nd NY sober too and i found this one much harder. Maybe its normal (shrug)

Pelican

Krissy and Ananda:ghug

I'm glad you are here. I am thankful to you for sharing and being so supportive of others!

AW2486

Do something good for yourself today.. you deserve a pat on the back.

gypsytears

Hugs to Krissy (& ananda) . Here's to hoping you're feeling better soon.

Tommyh

Krissy
we`re glad you showed up here instead of the bar.

lisa t

krissy....i know it's tough but hang in there..you've come so far! this is my second nye sober as well...and although it is not always easy and i've definitely had those days when i really really want a drink...i know that would not be an easier route...life is life and it's gonna happen but at least i am much better equipped to handle it...you are too!! hang in there and remember to stop & look at your feet right now and remember this is where you are right now...in other words keep it simple! this is what i do when i'm feeling overwhelmed..it helps me to re-focus and remember this too shall pass! thanks for sharing your feelings...it is soooo important to get the bad feelings out! i hope you are feeling better....Big hugs! hang in there! Lisa

mikefreak

Makes me realize how I must WATCH myself if that is the way you feel after a year of sobriety. I have only 54 days under my belt, but I was patting myself on the back. I made it through Thanksgiving, Vacation, a birthday, a Christmas bonus windfall, Christmas eve. Christmas day. NEW YEARS EVE.
Then today, I was taking down the tree. A tidal wave of depression came over me. I REALLY wanted to walk the block & 1/2 to the local convience(sic), store & BELLY UP. This went on for about two hours. I looked upon it as a fever whould "break" in a while. Thankfully, it did. Made me realize that this thing called sobriety is a day-to-day battle, & I must be prepared for that (what I call), " the tug on the shoulder" that can come at any time. Whew!

coffeenut

Congratulations on your second sober holiday! Awesome!

And thanks for your post, too. I have 6 months, so sometimes it's easy to think I've got myself under control. Alcoholism can rear its ugly head at anytime and to anyone. Thanks for the wake up call.

Again, Congrats! Be proud of yourself!

Tommyh

my second sponsor used to tell me we need bad days so we can compare our good days with them and then we can see how good we really have it.

nordicwalker

Hang on in there!
Thoughts,
N.Walker

Tazman53

Krissy glad you are hanging in there, some of those old cliches hold true in these times.... "This to shall pass." A year is awesome!!!! As long as I stay into working my program I have found the rough spots get further and further apart and most of the times they are not as bad. This was my 3rd New Years sober, I was and still am so sick right now that a drink is the furthest thing from a good idea I can imagine...... I do recall the day when being sick was a reason to get even drunker then I normally stayed....... I do not miss those days any more.

AcceptingChange

you said this so clearly. that's always been my goal, to stop thinking.
And it sorta works too, from one viewpoint.
But the dilemna is drinking sorta solves one problem, but it creates a whole new set of problems. I guess it's like someone who doesn't like to haggle when they shop, and so they pay full price for the car. Yeah, they got the car, but they also paid $10,000 more than they could have.

for me, it's tough to learn that i can't control my emotions, and since i can't control my emotions, i don't have control over things.
and it's a bit tough too because we get through the early parts of sobriety thinking if we are sober, we'll be happy. But, then we learn that being sober is only a necessary part of getting happy, but other parts are needed after achieving sobriety.

and, we know that not being sober will definately cause the same old problems as before, so it's a not a real solution, it's just a deal with the devil.

seems the only solution is to bear through it.

beingjenagain

Happy Joyous and Free!!! Bah Humbug some days but most days it is true! I wasn't happy drinking, I was no where near joyous and I definetly wasn't free from my powerless and unmanagable life. But life is life and not everyday is good. Sometimes I think drinking would be so easy but to lose all that I have gained would certainly stink.

Do something great for yourself. A pedicure, a long bath, a new magazine. I go buy something that costs about the same as a 12 pack!!