What works for you?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Dreaming Summer
Posts: 821
What works for you?
Given the interest expressed by various members,I thought it might be useful to open a discussion about what we've found helps to deal with the alcohol problem,and to get and stay sober.
Lets keep the focus on what we are doing,and treat the views of others with respect.Feel free to ask questions,if someone has an approach that interests you,but again,do so with respect.
I'm in a bit of a rush,as I'm getting ready to go get pictures taken with my kiddo.So I'll jump in later.Meanwhile,enjoy the discussion,and keep an open mind
phoenix
Lets keep the focus on what we are doing,and treat the views of others with respect.Feel free to ask questions,if someone has an approach that interests you,but again,do so with respect.
I'm in a bit of a rush,as I'm getting ready to go get pictures taken with my kiddo.So I'll jump in later.Meanwhile,enjoy the discussion,and keep an open mind
phoenix
Member
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Middle of Nowhere, USA
Posts: 210
What works for me...
Well, when I can hit meetings, I do. I hit a meeting every single day and that keeps the steps fresh on my mind and working them. But when I can't, which I encountered this week I learned that if I take my lunch at work at 8pm and start by thinking the serenity prayer and reading the big book through my lunch and ending with the lords prayer. Not out loud or anything, don't need people thinking I'm crazy! But, just in my head...and it really helped. I always feel 10X better when I can't make it to a meeting and I"m stuck at work to know that I can still work the steps "with" everyone. That's what works for me.
#1 though, Stay away from people that are a bad influence!! It's taken me like 7 months to get that through my head. But, I know it's important. Thanks!
#1 though, Stay away from people that are a bad influence!! It's taken me like 7 months to get that through my head. But, I know it's important. Thanks!
Greatful Sober Biker
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Cottonwood AZ.
Posts: 521
What works for me is I go to meetings at lease 3 times a week go on speaker meetings, and call my sponcer. I also post here and I now share the A A Big Book Quote on the Alcoholic Anonyous board. That is how it is working for me.
Be Cool
BikerBill8
Be Cool
BikerBill8
Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Leaving Sparta
Posts: 2,912
AA works for me because of the Spiritual approach it takes to recovery.
Not only do I find freedom from alcoholism but I also find a better way to live my life in peace and harmony with the rest of the world.
Not only do I find freedom from alcoholism but I also find a better way to live my life in peace and harmony with the rest of the world.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Arizona
Posts: 872
not much time under my belt...
But I have been going to meetings daily. I will be getting a sponsor within 1 week, just haven't decided on who yet.
My key focuses: I finally began praying for sobriety every morning and thanking God for my sobriety that day before bed.
I am very aware of Step 1: I AM powerless over alcohol, and because of that my life had become unmanageable.
I know if I drink, I'll get drunk -- that's no fun anymore.
And thanks to Carol D, I remember that "a belly full of beer and a head full of AA sucks."
I also read my Big Book, and focus on reading and re-reading my 12x12.
Thanks for listening, thanks for everyone being on this board, I am very grateful to you.
Ken
My key focuses: I finally began praying for sobriety every morning and thanking God for my sobriety that day before bed.
I am very aware of Step 1: I AM powerless over alcohol, and because of that my life had become unmanageable.
I know if I drink, I'll get drunk -- that's no fun anymore.
And thanks to Carol D, I remember that "a belly full of beer and a head full of AA sucks."
I also read my Big Book, and focus on reading and re-reading my 12x12.
Thanks for listening, thanks for everyone being on this board, I am very grateful to you.
Ken
Paused
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: A van...down by the river!
Posts: 108
What helps
I don't attend AA, although I do have the Big Book (and several other good ones, like "Under The Influence"). I do rely heavily on my religion and prayer to God though. That's what gives me strength. I pray a lot (especially when I'm tempted to go buy a bottle of wine - I pray for strength and courage from God, and he always gives it to me). I have a huge support system in my religion and also with my family and friends. None of them are drinkers (at least around me!). Association is the key for me - don't hang around people that like to drink a lot (or at all, for some people). Mainly it is my religious convictions that have helped me to lead a good life, and to treat others AND myself with respect (which meant no more drunken hangovers or driving under the influence!).
I also find that keeping a journal helps me vent my emotions (especially since I'm only 3 months sober), and get things off my chest. I see an addiction counseler who has been a recovering alcoholic for 13 years and also suffers from Panic Attacks like I have throughout the years. I keep active with my hobbies (like piano, and poetry), and do fun things with my family and friends. Having pets help (cat, dogs, fish!). I've also found that eating healthy and walking several times a week, or doing something active (especially when I start to stress out and think about drinking again) is really good for me. I just try to stay busy and not brood about things.....oh, also taking an interest in others, and not being so self centered all the time, that really helps. Afterall, I'm not the only one in the world with problems to deal with!
PianoGirl
I also find that keeping a journal helps me vent my emotions (especially since I'm only 3 months sober), and get things off my chest. I see an addiction counseler who has been a recovering alcoholic for 13 years and also suffers from Panic Attacks like I have throughout the years. I keep active with my hobbies (like piano, and poetry), and do fun things with my family and friends. Having pets help (cat, dogs, fish!). I've also found that eating healthy and walking several times a week, or doing something active (especially when I start to stress out and think about drinking again) is really good for me. I just try to stay busy and not brood about things.....oh, also taking an interest in others, and not being so self centered all the time, that really helps. Afterall, I'm not the only one in the world with problems to deal with!
PianoGirl
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Dreaming Summer
Posts: 821
I keep in mind that while I had become powerless over my drinking,I now have the power to stay sober.I tap that power by doing the basics,working the steps,having a home group,and keeping in contact with others in recovery.I have a faith that works.
I know that I am still powerless over the effect alcohol has on me if I drink.No matter what I do,or how long I stay sober,it will never be safe for me to drink.Now,thanks to the tools of recovery,I don't miss drinking at all.Life is good
phoenix
I know that I am still powerless over the effect alcohol has on me if I drink.No matter what I do,or how long I stay sober,it will never be safe for me to drink.Now,thanks to the tools of recovery,I don't miss drinking at all.Life is good
phoenix
It Works It Really Does
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Lakeview, Arkansas USA
Posts: 13
HOW? Honesty, Open-mindedness, and Willingness! This is day number 11,943 of my continuing adventure with sobriety as I trudge thru the blessings and challenges, one-day-at-a-time. On a practical level I think our slogans come to mind more than anything else. “Easy Does It,” “First Things First,” “Think, Think, Think,” “But For the Grace of God go I.” and “this thing works, it really does!” Trying is what got me drunk...doing is what keeps me sober. Practice these principles in all of my affairs. Attitude of gratitude and a continuing belief that my worst day sober is so far better than my best day drunk ever was. And last, but not least, “thanks” to a HP on a daily basis in doing for me what I couldn’t do for myself.
We often hear at meetings, “keep coming back, it works!” A suggestion that makes more sense to me, “don’t ever go away, it works even better!” Bill W., wrote in his story, “Most of us feel we need look no further for Utopia. We have it with us right here and now.” Utopia...the perfect place! The perfect place for me is being an active member of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Don A.
We often hear at meetings, “keep coming back, it works!” A suggestion that makes more sense to me, “don’t ever go away, it works even better!” Bill W., wrote in his story, “Most of us feel we need look no further for Utopia. We have it with us right here and now.” Utopia...the perfect place! The perfect place for me is being an active member of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Don A.
learning
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Where I need to be
Posts: 310
Thanks for this topic phoenix
What works for me.
Me. Nothing more, nothing less. Consuming alcohol is nothing more to me than something irresponsible that I used to do. I learned a couple cognitive techniques (AVRT and REBT) and I apply them when needed, but the success I have had is my own and I am very proud of it. I have a friend who has 15 sober years in AA and he likes to call me a “High Bottom, White Knuckler.” After my initial sarcasm of telling him that I was unaware that he was looking at my a$$ and my hands, I examined that statement. I like that statement. To me it means that I was responsible enough not to let my stupid behavior get to a point that it destroyed things in my life and I am committed to never engage in it again. Pretty cool.
Congratulations to all on your successes and thank you for the explanations you have provided.
Me. Nothing more, nothing less. Consuming alcohol is nothing more to me than something irresponsible that I used to do. I learned a couple cognitive techniques (AVRT and REBT) and I apply them when needed, but the success I have had is my own and I am very proud of it. I have a friend who has 15 sober years in AA and he likes to call me a “High Bottom, White Knuckler.” After my initial sarcasm of telling him that I was unaware that he was looking at my a$$ and my hands, I examined that statement. I like that statement. To me it means that I was responsible enough not to let my stupid behavior get to a point that it destroyed things in my life and I am committed to never engage in it again. Pretty cool.
Congratulations to all on your successes and thank you for the explanations you have provided.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
Good idea Phoenix!
1. I just let go and let my HP guide me.
2. I go to as many meetings "as needed." No less then twice a week.
3. I participate with the fellowship in various activities.
4. Journal and spend time with my sponser.
5. I read and meditate.
6. Hang out here .
7. Avoid the pitty pot.
8. Above all avoid that drink each 24 hours.
2. I go to as many meetings "as needed." No less then twice a week.
3. I participate with the fellowship in various activities.
4. Journal and spend time with my sponser.
5. I read and meditate.
6. Hang out here .
7. Avoid the pitty pot.
8. Above all avoid that drink each 24 hours.
Paused
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 30
Every morning I pray my own variation of the 3rd step:
God make me today what you want me to be, not what I think I should be and not what others want me to be, only what you designed me to be.......This helps to get my mind off of self-centered desires and also helps me guard against unreasonable demands or expectations others may try to put on me. It keeps me strong and independent.
Right after that I always ask God to defend me for that day against all adversity, but especially to defend me against alcohol, the obsession or compulsion to take that first drink.
Than I express my gratitude for whatever it is I'm grateful for at that particular moment.
I go to AA meetings: 2 - 3 every week.
Over time, my general craving for alcohol has greatly diminished, but I still struggle with sudden strong urges (seemingly out of the blue) to "sneak" a drink. For example, if I'm at someone's house where there is alcohol, with practically no warning I might feel a compulsion to just grab a bottle when no one is looking and take a swig or hide a beer in my bag and go slam it in the bathroom or some other similar type of nonsense. My impulse control feels seriously impaired and I usually have to physically remove myself from the situation.
It freaks me out that after almost 9 months of sobriety, I can still find myself in a state of mind where I am about 1 second away from just grabbing a bottle and chugging. It’s total insanity. One thing I’ve learned in treatment is that a relapse starts way before the actually drinking or using takes place. That’s why I find it helpful to backtrack and try to find out what’s been going on with me for the last couple of days or even weeks. The clues are there, and then I can take the necessary action to change and avert a full out relapse.
God make me today what you want me to be, not what I think I should be and not what others want me to be, only what you designed me to be.......This helps to get my mind off of self-centered desires and also helps me guard against unreasonable demands or expectations others may try to put on me. It keeps me strong and independent.
Right after that I always ask God to defend me for that day against all adversity, but especially to defend me against alcohol, the obsession or compulsion to take that first drink.
Than I express my gratitude for whatever it is I'm grateful for at that particular moment.
I go to AA meetings: 2 - 3 every week.
Over time, my general craving for alcohol has greatly diminished, but I still struggle with sudden strong urges (seemingly out of the blue) to "sneak" a drink. For example, if I'm at someone's house where there is alcohol, with practically no warning I might feel a compulsion to just grab a bottle when no one is looking and take a swig or hide a beer in my bag and go slam it in the bathroom or some other similar type of nonsense. My impulse control feels seriously impaired and I usually have to physically remove myself from the situation.
It freaks me out that after almost 9 months of sobriety, I can still find myself in a state of mind where I am about 1 second away from just grabbing a bottle and chugging. It’s total insanity. One thing I’ve learned in treatment is that a relapse starts way before the actually drinking or using takes place. That’s why I find it helpful to backtrack and try to find out what’s been going on with me for the last couple of days or even weeks. The clues are there, and then I can take the necessary action to change and avert a full out relapse.
Last edited by Ophelia; 08-07-2003 at 09:27 PM.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Australia
Posts: 610
I feel more "sober" when I am connected with my HP, myself and others. When I was drinking, I was very lonely and full of despair of ever feeling ok about myself.
To feel that connection and self-acceptance, I have to let go of those nameless fears and insecurities which fuelled me to destroy myself. The steps help me to face my fears and deal with the ones I can and let go of the ones I can't.
Sober friends, meetings, service work, cognitive therapy, this site, relaxation and H.O.W, not necessarily in that order, all help.
Amy
To feel that connection and self-acceptance, I have to let go of those nameless fears and insecurities which fuelled me to destroy myself. The steps help me to face my fears and deal with the ones I can and let go of the ones I can't.
Sober friends, meetings, service work, cognitive therapy, this site, relaxation and H.O.W, not necessarily in that order, all help.
Amy
Member
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: the Netherlands
Posts: 141
[QUOTE]Originally posted by DeaconAA
Attitude of gratitude and a continuing belief that my worst day sober is so far better than my best day drunk ever was. And last, but not least, “thanks” to a HP on a daily basis in doing for me what I couldn’t do for myself.
Powerfull stuff Deacon
Wiebe
Attitude of gratitude and a continuing belief that my worst day sober is so far better than my best day drunk ever was. And last, but not least, “thanks” to a HP on a daily basis in doing for me what I couldn’t do for myself.
Powerfull stuff Deacon
Wiebe
learning
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Where I need to be
Posts: 310
An oldie but a goodie....
I mentioned this thread in the alternatives thread. As I was reading through the alternatives thread, Jon brought up the concept of “customized recovery” (there is a gem to be found in every rocky place). It reminded me of this thread and what a good idea it was at the time. It would be very helpful to me, and perhaps others here, for folks to talk about all the different tools and techniques that they use. This way, something might click that the reader may have never thought of. Dan did a great job of this in the alternatives thread.
All that I ask is that you please do not be critical or condemnatory to what others post here. Please leave that for the alternatives thread.
Finally I ask that you kindly ignore what I posted in this thread way back when. I am so different than that now that I cannot even believe I wrote what I did.
Thanks
All that I ask is that you please do not be critical or condemnatory to what others post here. Please leave that for the alternatives thread.
Finally I ask that you kindly ignore what I posted in this thread way back when. I am so different than that now that I cannot even believe I wrote what I did.
Thanks
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: The Field of Dreams
Posts: 7,249
Cool.Its kinda neat reading some posts a couple years old from people I see still around here.Thanks for digging this one up.Heres what works for me.I attend meetings daily.Not because I have to,because I want to.I dont really know anyone here in Oregon except for people from the program.So,maybe part of going to meetings is like a social thing for me.I get to go see all my friends and stand around and BS before and after the meetings.I also usually seem to hear something I need to hear that day.I have a sponsor.I work the steps.I try to do service work,I go to all the activities I can.Like campouts,picnics,etc.I hang out with people in recovery.I come to SoberRecovery.I go to the gym.I read books about recovery.And recently,I also have a couple other self-improvement workbooks I been doing.For me this is going to be a never ending life-long process of growth and learning.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: London
Posts: 448
I thought Bartenders proposal and Dan's response on the Alternatives thread was a good one and is just as good here.
For me,
I have sought to understand, clarify and accept that I will be unlikely to ever have a social relationship with alcohol. If it is possible, I am certainly not aware of it. The beliefs given to me, that I will always react compulsively to alcohol are fundamental to my next step.
I have a commitment not to tip alcohol down my throat under ANY circumstances. I sought to understand that there was absolutely no problem or situation under which taking a drink of alcohol could benefit me. This took time, and having a commitment not to drink under any circumstances allowed me to develop my understanding and get through confused moments. The more I understood, the more I could and did assume responsibilty for my choice re. taking the first drink.
Having realised that alcohol was a symptom I was left with me. I deal with that on an individual basis, not assuming the characters or motives of alcohol abusers are the same. Though it is not unusual to share some traits. I use cognitive behaviour methods to address my mind. I do not use the 12 steps or God, though years ago I did. Today I am proactively taking responsibilty for who I am. If there is going to be any change it is going to be with my effort and your (human) help. I currently go to AA for fellowship and contact with individuals with the same goal of abstinence and I pursue cognitive behaviour methods as a program equivalent.
For me,
I have sought to understand, clarify and accept that I will be unlikely to ever have a social relationship with alcohol. If it is possible, I am certainly not aware of it. The beliefs given to me, that I will always react compulsively to alcohol are fundamental to my next step.
I have a commitment not to tip alcohol down my throat under ANY circumstances. I sought to understand that there was absolutely no problem or situation under which taking a drink of alcohol could benefit me. This took time, and having a commitment not to drink under any circumstances allowed me to develop my understanding and get through confused moments. The more I understood, the more I could and did assume responsibilty for my choice re. taking the first drink.
Having realised that alcohol was a symptom I was left with me. I deal with that on an individual basis, not assuming the characters or motives of alcohol abusers are the same. Though it is not unusual to share some traits. I use cognitive behaviour methods to address my mind. I do not use the 12 steps or God, though years ago I did. Today I am proactively taking responsibilty for who I am. If there is going to be any change it is going to be with my effort and your (human) help. I currently go to AA for fellowship and contact with individuals with the same goal of abstinence and I pursue cognitive behaviour methods as a program equivalent.
Last edited by Andy F; 03-23-2005 at 01:03 PM.
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