BackToSquareOne

Do you think that Rehabs, AA, Psych Wards or any program are really of much value if you havn't yet reached that point where you want to quit more than you want to drink. For me I had to reach that point and it wasn't a specific bottom as many talk about because over the years I had so many "Bottons" that the word lost any meaning for me.

I was in a rehab in the early 90's and attended AA but none of it did a bit of good because I really wasn't ready to surrender at that point. I don't honestly think there was a thing that anyone could have said to me back then that would have helped. In my mind if anyone really knew how wrong it felt to be sober all the time they would never actually expect you to do such a thing.

I see a lot of people posting that also seem to be having a hard time stopping, some seem conflicted as to whether they're really ready to throw in the towel. I also personally know people stuck in that spot, they say they want to quit but deep down they're not ready to surrender. I often look for words of wisdom to say to such people but I really have not found the words or methods (if there are any) to make someone stop that really doesn't want to.

I had to reach a point of total surrender and I don't see how you can force that on anyone, it's something that comes from within. Any thoughts?

Sugah

I was in the nuthouse more times than I can count. I really can't remember anything of value I learned there. Most of the visits were "med adjustments" and just a place to keep me safe from myself for awhile.

I was also in a couple of "dual-diagnosis" places. I can't say they did much good, either.

I paid attention and learned a lot in the last rehab I was in, but by that time, I was ready.

As far as early experience with AA, I do remember words said to me by a young woman when I was about 20. I also bought a Big Book then and kept it on the shelf in every house/apartment I lived in from that point on. Her words (and that book) came back to me when I was ready.

I take AA meetings into the county jails here, and I've had a lot of the women talk about serving the last part of their sentence in a rehab. Knowing the difficulty I had in finding an open bed, and having been through the same thing with others who were desperate to detox and had to wait weeks, I ask them, "Are you really ready? If you are, by all means, go and learn all you can. If you're not, do something selfless and let someone else have the bed."

There are some folks who need a 28 day head start, and if they're ready, they should have access to it. A seat in a meeting is free, and I don't think any time spent there is wasted. They just might find their willingness sitting around the tables listening. On the other hand, if they're trying to impress family or the legal system and take up space somewhere to do it, they should know that others who are ready and who do need it are out there dying.

But who's to be the judge of who's ready and who's not?

Peace & Love,
Sugah

nandm

My personal thought and experience is that until I was ready to go to any lengths to get sober I was not able to find a solution. That does not mean it is the same for everyone. What seems to be a common thread though is a person being able to surrender and accept that alcohol has defeated them so they can move forward and rebuild their life alcohol free.

Zencat

For me it was being willing to seek treatment for my alcohol dependence. In treatment I learn living skills that enable me to adjust to living life without substance abuse/dependence. As for 'surrender' don't know much about that as it hasn't been a subject that is brought up in much or I don't remember if it has in my treatment groups. I do know without commitment to change and a willingness follow through with my addiction treatment I wound still be using.

Willingness coupled with action and a treatment plan supported by helping others has saved my raggedy tore-up multibottomed-out retched past life as an addict. Treatment it works when one is willing. At least its true for me.

Tommyh

well,yes I do think they might help a few.
I have a sponsee,named Beaver.He went thru the nuthouse deals,the I.O.P. programs,and attended AA.He wasn`t serious.
He left a meeting one night and was driving home when it hit him.He made the decision to come back to AA and get in AA.He is a happy guy now.My second sponsor used to tell me that sometimes he had seen people come to AA for a while,and hear a word or phrase and then something clicked in their head and they got in AA instead of attending AA,if you know what I mean.For me,it took hard knocks from the bottle to convince me.

doorknob

I think a person just has to be ready. This is the longest I've been sober since joining SR, and I'm not doing anything all that different, just want it a little more, am trying a little harder, and am utilizing a few more tools.

pinetree

I think you have to hit bottom. Whose going to be willing to do the work unless their life depends on it?

CarolD

The only reason I decided to quit drinking was to stop
the diagnosed situational depression that was caused by alcohol.

3 attemptted suicides...3 other stays in mental hospitals
and I continued to drink. My drinking was not really
discussed in depth during these stays....

I was unaware of medically supervised de tox or
IOP's or treatment centers in '84.
But I did know a former fiance' who had quit
and Michael did that with AA.

So have I.....
In AA..my alcoholism was the focus
recovery the goaal.

Sooo ...I don't know what anyone else needs
but I can share my experiences and hope
someone else will find the joy of recovery.

Tazman53

I tried for many years to quit drinking, but some how I always wound up convincing myself that I deserved a drink or that I could handle it this time. It took 5 solid years of being owned by alcohol to get me to surrender to alcohol itself...... I just could not fight my alcoholism anymore, I gave up and decided to just drink.

Well not long after that surrender I had a moment of clarity showing me that I was going to die a slow lonely painful death if I did not quit drinking! This scared the crap out of me because I had to drink, there was no choice, if I did not drink bad things happened to me. I called a doctor who specialized in drug addiction and alcoholism! You see I had hit my bottom, I was hopeless, I was willing to do what ever it took to get and stay sober!

The doctor told me I needed to be medically detoxed, so I went to detox. In detox I was told if I wanted a chance to stay sober I needed to go to at least 90 AA meetings in 90 days and get a sponsor. Well I was willing to do what ever it took to get and stay sober! so I went to over 90 AA meetings in 90 days and got a sponsor.....

That was over 2 years ago, I am still sober today, happier then I have been in over 30 years, and I still go to 3 meetings a week. I was ready!!!!!

So to answer the question posed, I feel as though until I was really ready to stop, nothing would have helped me to stop drinking.

waterface

What kind of bad things happened if you didnt drink Tazman?

I think i'm slowly reaching my rock bottom as i'm becoming slowly scared about my inevitable fate if i carry on, health stuff & liver tests & what has beee told me!

Moment of clarity, i so need one of those to change my thought processes! Can i have one for xmas?

As for the question, i hope so, my doctor thinks my appointment to the substance misuse clinic for expert help in the field of alcoholism will sure make a difference, as all that happens now is i get told by the doctor, 'cut you units'. Bull!!
What i will learn there & maybe see, will help me get nearer that stage.

Tazman53

First I would get real fidgety, anxious, irratable, & anger easily, that would progress into the shakes...... I never did let it progress beyond that point, there was more then once my wife told me to get a drink, that I was becoming a bigger A-hole then I normally was!

I was one of the lucky ones on that count........ many of us die before we ever get one! Perhaps what I just said will be your moment of clarity.... perhaps not! Why wait for that moment? You may wait too long!!!!

ExNavyInHouston

I hope so. Mainly, for some people, this face to face direct treatment in a facility where they face their demon day in and day out all day long is what it takes.

It helps them finally slow down and took a good hard look at their reality and what they hope for themselves for the future.

For some battles we need a .22 rifle and for some we need a canon.

Do whatever it takes. We are handed only so many days on this planet. I have to believe our purpose here has to be greater than living a self-torturing life.

PaulN

I agree with total surrender. My experience, was I first had suffer enough. My last drunk wasn't the worst I ever lived through ... but it was the last one for me.

When an AA asked me out for coffee long before I ever quit or knew anything about AA, I was furious. But one thing I was never able to do after that meeting, was drink that man or talk away. A seed was planted and regardless how bad I didn't want it at the time, it ended up being the greatest gift another human could have ever given me.

So, I think rehab, AA and what ever else has it's place in an alcoholics life, even if they don't want to yet quit. Surrender must come from within. Willingness ... that one thing AA can't give.

AA isn't for people who need it ... it's for those who want it. Thank God for that.