Homer38

in to a social worker to save the marriage now! whats next?


ive done aa sporadicaly,not whole heartedly,im screwed huh?

im just ana na lcoholic and no ifs ands or buts?

Homer38

my eyes burn,my stomach hurts,nothing healthy about my bowel movements!
i wont say it tho

LosingmyMisery

Of course not, Homer.

I wonder what you could accomplish if you put your whole heart and soul into sobriety? The possibilities are endless.

I've been reading about your struggles for many, many years now, Homer. I'm not surprised your wife has had enough. I know you can't blame her for being fed up. If you have any chance to save your marriage, you have to get and stay sober. What have you've got to lose? Drunk...you've got plenty.

Wishing you the best, Homer. and I hope you succeed. You have plenty of support to help you along the way. How about tomorrow being day 1?

problemchild

Homer you sound like you think you are worse than the rest of us and cant get help, well let me tell you my friend i thought the same, i drank more stayed drunk more and was a bigger a@$ than anyone on here. WRONG, i drank a boat load but i also found people who could drink and have drank just as much as me, there lives were worse than mine and they were near death , not to mention older than me, so stop the maddness and get help. You gotta wanna stop more than you wanna drink,choose the sober life it is much better.

Take care,
John

bstt03

Homer38! :ghug3 I had not seen you on here in a while and I was afraid for you! I am so sorry to hear about your marriage. So what is your plan now to stop drinking? I know you say you are an alcoholic no ifs ands or buts - the question is - what are you going to do? Obviously you want to stop drinking or you would not have come on here. Come on Homer38 you can do this - you are not alone - look at all of us here!

MagicMan08

Ah yes, I remember my drinking days. I always relate this aspect of my addiction to the jaywalker story in the big book. The dude would jay walk and get hit by a car, and the next week he would be back out there again jaywalking. People didn't know why he did it because it hurts him so much, but he still did it. I call that the insanity. As I sober up more I am seeing the disease of the mind, body, and soul.

Good luck. Sober up, it is never too late to turn it all around. Focus on you, if you don't have your happiness, what do you have brotha!

dirtyjerz08

There are no hopeless cases my friend, no matter how it may seem at the moment. Sometimes it takes a beating to really be ready to admit you are powerless. It sounds like you may be there. It doesn't have to get any worse from here. Just try to stay sober for a day, or an hour, or a minute, whatever you can handle. Then get to a meeting and give this thing a shot. God bless.

- Dirtyjerz

Sugah

Where there's breath, there's hope. If you don't have hope, borrow someone else's.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

gravity

For me, this was the starting point. Over and over, year after year, bender after bender – wake up full of self-hatred, fear, disgust. Will I lose my family? My career? Once the sickness and the fear went away, a beer started to look good again.

After my last bender, I just knew that I had to act fast and throw myself fully into AA. Sponsor, steps, and meetings whether I thought I needed it or not. If I didn’t do this, sooner or later I would again conveniently forget the hell my life had become and think that “this time will be different”. I needed to know that a sober life was better than my old existence.

AA isn’t perfect. I have had some rough times in the past 11 ½ months. But today, I don’t miss drinking, I don’t need drinking, and I don’t think that I have been happier or more at peace in my life.

doorknob

Hey, Patrick... if you're up for some comedy, I've added a few new songs to Singsnap. Sure glad you turned me on to that!

Peter

What's next ?

A horrible accident? Your life maybe ?

How much more are you willing to gamble ?

You cant stop?

What makes you think you are so different from me or anyone else sober on this site?

Do you think your desire to drink is so much greater than mine that you will fail where I succeeded?

Stop your whining and get real.

You know what you need to do to get sober and stay sober.

Pinkcuda

Alcoholism never took a "Sporadic" attempt at destroying me and everything in my life.
If I was to take a "Sporadic" attempt to get sober I would be "Screwed" as you put it.
Taking an All or Nothing approach to what AA has to offer is the only way it works. I have to believe the book 100% Not just some of it.
Take what you need and leave the rest doesn't cut it.
If you adhere to the program, the steps, and the traditions you will find the promise delivered in the 10th step that says, "We have been placed in a position of neutrality, safe and protected. We have not even sworn it off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us" (pg 85)
I can attest to this fact. It really does happen. Alcohol means nothing to me.
Others can attest to this as well. It truly is a miracle.

CarolD

Hi Patrick...
Because of the meds you take
because of your active alcoholism

Once again...I strongly suggest you ask your doctor
to assist you with a de tox.

As always...with concern

SoberSoWhat

Dear Homer38,

I tried for YEARS to quit drinking. I would tell my friends and/or family of my plans to quite and at first they were supportive supportive, but eventually they gave up on me. I would go sometimes less than a day before getting drunk again.

I tried and failed so many times it is amazing that I never quit quitting!!!

And yet eventually, after years of failure and a bit humiliation, I did the seemingly impossible. I quit drinking. I am coming up on two years sober without a single slip-up. After 100 attempts, I finally succeeded. Think about that: I FAILED 99 times before I succeeded, but (almost) two years out and those 99 failures are irrelevant now.

When I feel as you now feel, I recall Michael Jordan's words:

I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.
- Michael Jordan

I hate cliches because they are usually stripped of their meaning by repetition, but this still means something to me: Every moment is another chance for you to turn it all around.

Never give up on yourself.

-F.

zoomer

Just do it! Ask your doctor for help and go to a teatment center. I'v been on for years and seen you try and fail. Time to take out the big guns and go for it. I think you spoil yourself too much. I was like that. I learned that spoiling yourself just as you would a child makes you into a brat always wanting your way. Giving into to drinking is going to kill you sooner or later. Why put your family through that? I'm sure they have had enough already. I'v seen people here be so kind to you and I'v seen them mean to you,but they care. You can stop drinking just like the rest of it by going to treatment. Just going to AA in your case is not going to work. You have too much freedom to do your own thing and that is to drink. Give yourself a chance to live, call the doctor soon to set up an appointment. I too was on medication and drank and I'm lucky I did not mess myself up. I shutter now to think what I was doing to myself. You'll look back too one day and say "man what was I thinking!"

Tazman53

Patrick in the end, after years and years of me promising to stop drinking when I never really wanted to stop, followed by 5 years of promising to stop and not being physically capable of stopping drinking my wife prepared to leave me, she had a home set up for her and the kids to move into at the end of the month, she had her job and the help of her parents to do it.

When she told me her and the kids were leaving at the end of the month I was insane for lack of a better word, I had surrendered to the fact that I could not stop drinking and that I would simply drink when I wanted and how I wanted..... devil be damned!!! I was miserable and had grown so tired of fighting the booze that surrendered to it!

My wife told me that she loved me, but she loved our children more and was not going to let them watch me drink myself to death, they were all set to move at the end of the month!

What did I do? Well at first I thought "Cool, now I can drink in the house without any one bitching at me." I went out to the garage, popped the top on another and proceeded to find oblivion again.

Some time during that drinking bout I had a moment of clarity, my life if I continued to drink fast forwarded in front of me. In less then a year every person I cared about would be gone, all of my material things along with my job would be gone and I would be left with nothing but me and my bottle...... slowly drinnking myself into a slow painful alcoholic death!!!!

Patrick you said:

Nope, you are only screwed if you choose to be screwed!!!!

Open up the BB to chapter 5 and read it!

Here are some things to ponder.

Have you thouroughly followed the path? If you have and you are still drinking then maybe you are one of those rare ones that fails, but you say you have not thouroughly followed the path right. Can't hurt to try to thouroughly followed the path can it?

Patrick if you are willing to completely give your self to the simple program of AA then the above does not apply right?

Patrick are you capable of being honest with your self? If you are then the above does not apply to you.

Patrick one emotional and mental state does not matter if you have the ability to be honest.

Patrick if you want what we have the real question is are you willing to go to any length to get it?

If you really are willing to go to any length to get it then you are willing to take certain steps.... Are you willing to do so?

Patrick when it comes to AA you have to admit that you have been taking half measures, we all know that when we do a half arse job we get half arse results in most cases, but when it comes to drinking there are no half arse results, one is either sober or they are drinking them selfs to death and losing thier families and everything else eventually including thier lifes.

Patrick would you not agree that you stand at a turning point?

Keep drinking and first you lose your wife and family..... what next? Your job? Your house?

Patrick I have been at that turning point, I was physically incapable of not drinking, even though I was physically incapable of stopping I was capable of getting help!

I was willing to go to any lengths to get and stay sober, I saw a doctor and went through medical detox, from there I went to AA, I went to at least a meeting a day, I got phone numbers of fellow male alcoholics and I called them every day, I got a sponsor and I worked the steps.

Here it is over 2 years later and I honestly do not even think about drinking today, I am happy, I saved my marriage, and I live life today sober on lifes terms!

I no longer go to a meeting every day, I go to 3 a week most of the time and today I go for 2 reasons, one is to continue to learn how to live my life one day at a time and the other is to share my experience strength and hope with other alcoholics to help them get and stay sober.

Patrick I know that you are more then capable of doing this, if I can end a 40 year alcoholic career you can to, if you really want to.

I pray that you are at that turning point today, that you want to not drink more then you want to drink.

Patrick if you REALLY want to stop, whether you are religous or not, drop to your knees and ask for any power greater then your self to grant you the power to be willing to do what ever you have to do to stop and stay stopped.

Forget the wife and kids................. do you want to die????????

Alcoholism kills, and it is not pretty.

Cathy31

Patrick
When you said you were doing AA 'your way' and not going to bother with the steps, a sponsor etc I knew this would be the outcome...nothing changes is nothing changes. You are not more hopeless than anyone else - just maybe more of a glutton for punishment
You can get sober. You can have a wonderful life. More wonderful than it is now. you got to take action. You gotta do something you have not done before.
Cathy31
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