newbie - my story

Old 12-08-2008, 06:18 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: England, UK
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newbie - my story


Today I have made two decisions concerning my future

1) Having browsed this forum for several months with great interest, I’ve finally decided to join up and become an active contributing member.
2) I have decided that as of today, I will never touch another alcoholic drink; without exception.

Let me introduce myself.

My name is Gary, I am 37 years old and live in the UK. I have what I would basically describe as a ten year history of binge drinking. Prior to that 18 months of what I would describe as moderate social drinking. Before that I can say in total honesty that I was pretty close to tee-total with little interest in alcohol. I’m able to identify precisely where and why these patterns changed at certain periods in my life.

My story is as follows. I am basically a very shy, introverted type of person and have been this way since I was a child. I am actually, deep inside myself, quite happy being that way, yet at the same time have always felt outcast by a society which generally tends to regard shyness as ‘abnormal’, rather than just another personality characteristic. I believe my shyness is the root of my eventual decline into binge drinking, despite having pretty much resisted alcohol for much of my life.

I grew up as a shy and sensitive child, had few close friends and generally preferred my own company and pursuing solitary interests rather than associating with people who I found little in common with or engaging in group activity. Having said that, most of my childhood I would describe as very happy. There were a few problems along the way – my parents divorce hit pretty hard though I maintained good relationships with both - but most of the time I felt content with my life and had certainly had a loving family around me. There was no real drink history amongst my immediate family – my parents were what I would describe as normal occasional social drinkers and there was certainly never any sign of drunken behaviour around the house from what I remember – only a few social drinks when family or work friends came to the house, etc. The only time I recall alcohol being in the house was at Christmas or for the occasional social gathering. The only throwback in the family I am aware of is my mother’s grandfather (on her father’s side) having a history of alcoholism to the point that my mother’s father has hardly touched alcohol in his life. The first time in my life I witnessed any form of alcohol abuse was at the age of about 12 when my parents split and my mother’s new partner was what I would describe as a heavy drinker – not alcoholic to the point of being constantly disorderly, but with a problem nonetheless.

Through my childhood and into my late teens, I was aware that I felt “different” to other people my age. Though I always made an effort to get along with people of my age and considered myself to be of a pleasant disposition, I found myself socially preferring the more mature company of people much older than myself and found little in common with people my age. As I reached drinking age, I simply had no interest in alcohol, bars, clubs, etc. I had my own range of interests which occupied most of my time and fulfilled me totally, and I had no desire to conform to what society deemed “normal” social activity – ie. drinking alcohol. I was often the subject of ridicule from work friends due to my lack of interest in being part of their social scene, which was firmly based around the consumption of alcohol. This upset me from time to time and people certainly had a way of making me feel inferior and abnormal for my decision not to partake. But I held my head up high, was proud of my individuality, and was totally happy in the things I was doing, which I considered to be more positive and constructive than drinking alcohol. I had no problem with my decision to pursue a different path to my peers, yet they clearly did. Friends I made in non-work circles accepted my decision not to consume alcohol and rarely questioned why couldn’t work colleagues?

I can remember my first alcoholic drink, aged nearly 18, in the Spring of 1989. I ordered a beer while at a rock concert, just to see what all the fuss was about. It did absolutely nothing for me. Certainly didn’t make me want to order a second one. Just did not influence me one way or the other. To me it was neither a pleasant or unpleasant experience, neither positive nor negative. It just failed to move me in any way whatsoever. If anything, it made me think “what is the big attraction with alcohol?”. It would be another six months before I drank any alcohol again. That time I recall having a couple of beers during at a local pub during a lunch break at work, kind of out of curiosity, just because it’s what the other guys did in their break. This time it did little more than my first drink had done, but it did make me want to repeat the experience a couple of weeks later. But I only recall repeating the experience once. The feeling it gave me certainly wasn’t influential enough to make me change track – i.e. start socialising with my alcohol obsessed work colleagues or drinking on a regular basis. I remained happy in my decision not to drink and content pursuing my own interests and direction. In fact around this time my drinking career came to an almost total stop. I can say in total honesty that between October 1989 and November 1995, the extent of my alcohol intake would be the occasional glass of wine at Christmas dinner with my family. In fact I don’t think I even did this every year during this time. Again, the intake did little for me and gave me no desire to partake further. By now I’d passed my driving test, did a fair amount of travelling with my social interests and drink simply didn’t figure on the agenda. I had too many positive things to enjoy.

I view the turning point in my drinking career as being in December 1995, aged 24. By this stage the ridicule I was getting from my so called work mates for not being a drinker and taking part in their alcohol orientated activities was getting too much to bear. The ribbing – which to them was the source of much amusement and entertainment - was getting pretty heavy to the point of making me feel quite depressed. By this stage I was actually beginning to question whether maybe I WAS abnormal for not partaking in “the good beverage”. Maybe I really would be happier if I WAS part of their scene. At least I would be accepted at work and not have to endure the daily taunts. Surely it was worth a try? When the invites to the annual Christmas dinner and booze-up (which I’d declined in previous years) came around, this time something came over me and I though “right, I’ll show them – I’m not the boring lifeless soul they’ve got me down for – I’ll prove them all wrong”. I put my name down. Partly to silence my critics and partly because I actually WANTED to find out first hand if their scene had anything to offer – don’t knock it until you’ve tried it, etc. Oddly enough, I actually ENJOYED the occasion, and the alcohol. My intake was moderate – four pints of beer – and while others chose to party into the early hours, I was one of the ones that was able to leave when I’d had enough and go home. But I went home extremely happy that night - happy that I’d now been accepted as part of the work social scene. And I’d actually ENJOYED the alcohol aspect to the point where – for the first time – I had a strong desire to do it again. Not just to be part of the gang, but because I genuinely ENJOYED the feeling the alcohol had given me.

Strangely enough, despite my “enjoyable” experience with my new found friend alcohol (and the work colleagues who I’d previously steered clear of socially), it was to be another year before I drank again. Throughout that year I resisted the temptation to join the social crowd and got on with my life as per usual, pursuing my own direction. But come Christmas 1996, I went along to the office party. This time it was an all day event rather than just an evening as the previous year had been. I knew there would be some pretty serious drinking involved this time – and I WANTED some of it. This was the first time I’d drank anything that could be considered a heavy consumption or attempted to match the drinking of my obviously more experienced comrades. And again, I found myself ENJOYING it. I was certainly a convert to the “benefits” of alcohol consumption. With the aid of my liquid cohort I, as a naturally introverted person, could be as lively as the rest of the crowd. I was no longer the butt of the office jokes, I’d proven my worth and dispelled people’s pre-conceptions of me. Yet despite this, it would be another four months before alcohol and I were reunited. Despite enjoying the experience, I still had no desire to frequent the pub and club scene like the other guys did, happily following my own path. Alcohol and I met up again in April 1997 at an evening social function with my work colleagues. On this occasion, I met a lovely girl, five years younger than myself. Up to this point the one thing that was missing from an otherwise happy life was a serious relationship. My natural shyness had always held me back in this area, but thanks to good old alcohol, I could turn on the charm to impress the opposite sex just as well as the next man.

This is where my drinking activities really took off. I began a brief relationship with the girl I’d met. We had nothing in common really, but enjoyed each others company. But because of the lack of any mutual interests to pursue our social meeting tended to take place in pubs and bars and our social life centred firmly around drinking. But I was happy and enjoying myself. In my mind I was just engaging in normal activity and couldn’t possibly perceive that this would be the real start of my serious relationship with alcohol. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not blaming any other party for my problems with alcohol and I have no doubt that my female friend would not have drank with me had she knew what a hold alcohol would end up having over me. Indeed I would not have drank myself. I’m not offloading blame here, merely illustrating the sequence of events in my drinking career. Anyway, the relationship didn’t last – nothing to do with alcohol, just an incompatability.
Almost immediately I began dating the lady who would eventually become my wife (we are talking Summer of 1997 now). She lived some distance from me and our dates would usually involve a long drive, so alcohol was not really on the agenda during our first few dates. But as things got serious and we would stay at each others homes, naturally alcohol was consumed. Unlike myself, my new lady came from a family with a distinct drinking background. Her father was a keen drinker and was rarely sober on our first few meetings. Drinking was simply part of their way of life – father calls in pub on way home from work for a session each time, weekend lunchtimes in the pub, ample stock of booze in the house. The complete opposite of the relatively minor alcohol influence I had witnessed in my immediate family. Having said that, my wife to be was nothing more than what I would describe as a normal social drinker. Certainly she had no desire to convert me to her father’s way of living, in fact she was full of tales of how her father’s drinking had caused her family much embarrassment over the years and she was full of resentment towards him for his drunken activities. However, all the same drinking became part of our life, in a fairly minor way at first – an evening in the pub on a Saturday night, a few cans of beer followed by future father-in-law’s ample measures of spirits. Incidentally, up to this time I’d been strictly a beer drinker and quite honestly could only ever stomach so much of the stuff before I either felt sick, bloated or just plain tired. My introduction to spirits is another key turning point – now the upper limit of how much alcohol could be consumed had been lifted. My drink of choice from here on would be vodka and coke (cola). Far from making me tired, this concoction gave me an incredible boost of energy and undying appetite to consume more, knowing that I wouldn’t suffer the ill feelings that went with beer drinking (well, at least not during the experience – the hangovers the next day were another story, yet always seemed worth enduring for the ‘positive’ effects of the alcohol – and still do. My drinking career was now well and truly on a roll, and I was enjoying every minute. It soon became my favourite hobby, more so than any of the more constructive or creative interests I’d engaged in before. This was so much more fun – or so it seemed - and brought me out of my shell, making me a seemingly more outgoing and interesting person than the sober me. Or at least so it seemed at the time.

By 1998 my girlfriend had become my fiancée and we were living together. Drinking was part of our social life, for sure, but had still not reached what I would regard as a serious stage. Most of our drinking at this stage took place in a pub/social environment. Only occasionally was any drink brought into the home. However, the early signs of my addiction were certainly beginning to surface. I would now look for opportunities to drink – going out with work colleagues directly after the shift (as I worked early mornings, this left plenty of free time to kill before my partner got home from work – I now found it preferable to spend this time in the pub with work mates rather than pursuing my wider range of interests as I had in the past - a distinct change in pattern). For the first time I would turn into work worse for wear from a session the previous day/evening. Drinking had clearly become a major part of my life now, not just a few pints on a Saturday night in a social setting. There were the afternoon sessions after work, happily consuming 70cl bottles of spirits at home on a Saturday evening as a cheaper and more ‘fulfilling’ experience than drinking a few beers in a pub, meeting with work colleagues on a Sunday for a major all day session. It had certainly taken a hold by this time, but I felt was having such a good time that the fact that this could be a problem hardly entered my head, although I was obviously aware that this was a distinct change of direction for me and that I was now going with the flow and following the behaviour of my work colleagues in favour of pursuing my own direction as I had in the past. I was certainly no longer the single-minded, strong-willed individualistic person that I once was. I had become easily led and gullible; and doing whatever it took to be popular with my work / drinking friends. And I was ENJOYING almost every minute of it.

The next major change came in mid 1999 when I decided on a change of job. This decision was neither drink related nor drink influenced, just felt the need to do something new. The new job however did not work out and I went through a very unsettled Summer employment-wise, trying different occupations, none of which worked out for me for various reasons. I soon found myself missing my afternoons in the pub with my old colleagues and regretting my career change. During a period without any work, alcohol began to find its way into the home on a more regular basis, even drinking alone on weekday afternoons, something I’d never done before. I even began drink-driving, something I despised previously (thankfully this didn’t last long and I was never pulled-in). This is the first point at which I knew in my mind that my behaviour was going beyond normal social drinking. Thankfully this episode did not continue. I settled into a new self employed direction and the week-day drinking ceased, and has pretty much done so to this day, thankfully.

In 2000 I married my fiancée and (after a couple of regrettable and alcohol-fuelled incidents, including one brush with the law for disorderly conduct and another major embarrassment in front of my former work colleagues/drinking buddies) we relocated home. There were many reasons for the move – family, work, property prices - but accepting that I had a problem in the alcohol department, I viewed the move away from my drinking partners to be a positive step in the right direction. I’m not the kind of guy to enter a bar alone, so by moving to an area where I knew no one and having no connections with my past work / drinking colleagues, that was at least one temptation that would be firmly removed. And it has – I rarely enter a pub or bar these days, only for a social gathering with friends or family. Regular pub drinking is no longer part of my life and I maintain no contact with my former colleagues/drinking partners whatsoever. And I no longer miss that association at all. Without exception.

The move and disassociation with past associates was not the end of my drinking activities. In fact a distinct regimented pattern would develop. I should point out that the one positive factor about my drinking patterns these days is that I am these days totally able to control my drinking when I NEED to . For example, when there is the commitment of work the next day I rarely have any craving or desire whatsoever to drink. There have been a handful of exceptions, but these have genuinely been few and far between. As a rule I never drink when there is work the next day. If I am out in a social setting – ie. For a meal - I can happily sit and drink orange juice without craving the big A. Likewise, if i am driving, I’ll gladly take a soft drink. I can go away for a foreign holiday and happily sip fruit juices rather than frequent the bars or sample the local spirits. I never drink to excess in the company of friends who I respect – ie. Friends with whom I share non-alcohol related interests. My parents and sister have never had any cause to suspect I have a problem with the sauce. My in-laws know I enjoy a drink, but have never suspected anything more. Etc .etc. In short, these days I can control it when it really matters.

The description of my drinking can accurately be described as binge drinking. I don’t need to drink every day, have never had any cravings in the mornings – stereotypes generally associated with alcoholism. I generally drink once a week only. This will almost always be on either a Friday or Saturday evening when we have nothing planned outside of the home. My wife and will relax and listen to some music we enjoy while drinking our favourite tipple, purely as relaxation and sharing a common interest and passion. Listening to music is a great passion of mine and I always found it to be one of the most stimulating, powerful and emotionally rewarding experiences – there is something there for every mood or emotion. Until my drinking took off, I found it quite possible to enjoy music sober, yet these days it doesn’t have the same effect without the drink. I would so much like to be able to get back to enjoying one of my great life passions with a clear head again, yet the two almost go hand in hand for me these days. However, while my wife will have 3-4 drinks and then announce she’s had enough, I find myself, once I take just one glass, to be unable to stop until the bottle in empty, generally consuming 70cl of vodka from between 7pm to 4am the next morning –ie. over a nine hour period. I won’t stop until the bottle is empty. If I buy a smaller bottle, then it will always result in a walk to the local store to replenish supplies. As for my personal behaviour, a typical drinking evening generally starts off fairly relaxed and sociable as we enjoy some music and relax with a drink together, but all too often things turn ugly and my mood can get particularly dark, particularly if my wife does not wish to maintain my pace. I am, sober, a generally amiable, inoffensive kind of person with a pleasant character, and I hate the person I become when I am drunk. My wife has been on the receiving end too many times. Not in a physical sense – I don’t recall ever hitting anyone in my life – but verbally. I do genuinely feel powerless and this is what bothers be the most and reinforces that I have a problem here. In my younger days, I was so strong-willed and happy to follow my own direction rather than join the pack and indulge in a bid to be ‘normal’. I beat myself up so much emotionally for letting my guard down and getting sucked in by the alcohol trap. I want so much to return to my former virtually tee-total life. I was so happier emotionally without the added complications that alcohol brings.

My present drinking routine has been pretty stable since 2000. There have been a handful of attempts to quit – a couple of times with willpower, another after reading the Allen Carr book and trying to put his methods into practice. All attempts have lasted 8 weeks max.

I’m always trying to look for reasons as to why I should quit completely. We had a beautiful baby girl 18 months ago and I want to be a parent she can grow up to be proud of, not ashamed by in the way that my wife was of her father. I have a lovely wife who I know prefers me sober, yet is so tolerant and forgiving when things get out of hand. I have a business which provides me with a reasonable living, but I know more could be made of it if I was more focussed, instead of constantly thinking about my alcohol issue. I lost my dear mother a few months back and so much would like to truly be the person she, unaware of my problem, believed I was. When she passed away I told myself I’d quit to honour her memory and be true to the image she had of her beloved son, just as when our baby was born I told myself I would quit in order to be a better father and a better husband. Deep inside I so badly want to be rid of this demon and know full well that the benefits of not drinking by far outweigh the ‘benefits’ of continuing to use alcohol.. I start each week with the firm intention of quitting, yet come the weekend the cravings just prove too hard to resist. Am I truly powerless or just not trying?
To many, who either indulge or suffer cravings on a daily basis, my weekend intake and abstinence during the week may well seem not much of a problem by comparison. But for me, the mere fact that I am engaging in behaviour that I feel I have no control over makes it a BIG problem for me and one I make no attempt to deny. I so desperately want to regain the complete control I had over my actions.

The main problem I find is the lack of any real support. I feel so isolated. My wife is the only person who is totally aware of my problem, yet while she is the most loyal partner anyone could ask for (she has been tolerant of my outbursts – too tolerant to a point where it may not actually have helped me), I don’t believe she is truly aware how difficult it is to just stop drinking, once addicted. I believe only fellow addicts know and understand how it feels to be under the spell of alcohol and therefore only fellow addicts can help me, which is one of the main reasons I have joined up here. I’m primarily looking for some emotional support and a group of people to share experiences with.

I don’t know that the AA route is for me, although I would never think of criticising something that has helped so many people return to leading happy lives without alcohol. But I am by nature an introverted and private person and I just don’t think I could sit in a meeting and tell my tale and talk over my experiences with alcohol with even a group of friends, never mind strangers. I’m much more comfortable putting my thoughts down in writing, which is why I’ve come here. It would sure be nice to have people to communicate with, if only online, that understand where I’m coming from rather than having a “just pull yourself together” mentality.

I cannot see my situation improving without some form of help and I’d like to start here. This past weekend I drank three evenings in a row – something almost unheard of in my drinking career, certainly not in recent times. This really HAS to be a turning point for me. I’ve made that decision and I’m looking forward to being part of what seems like a very friendly and helpful community.
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Old 12-08-2008, 06:45 AM
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Welcome to SR Gary, alcohol made me an introvert, the last 5 years of my drinking were spent alone in my garage. Coming here is a darn good start and I can attest to writing to be a tremendous aide in all things in life.

AA was the last place I wanted to go, I had so many preconcieved ideas about AA, but once I started to go I discovered that the vast majority of them were not true at all.

First thing is the only requirement for membership is a "DESIRE" to stop drinking, many people start off in AA while still drinking, heck my first meeting I ever went to I was drunk on my butt yet I was made welcome, no one asked me to leave nor looked down upon me, they had been where I was at.

No one has to say a word in a meeting if they do not want to, I have a friend in AA who said he went to a at least a meeting every day for a year and never said a word, he just listened and stayed sober!

Why not just go to a meeting, walk in grab a cup of coffee or tea, grab a chair in the back, sit down and just listen? What do you have to lose? You will at a minimum get a free refreshment.
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Old 12-08-2008, 08:20 AM
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Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
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Location: Serene In Dixie
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Glad you decided to participate with us....

I'm sorry you have lost your Mom...but glad that you
have a daughter to mentor ... following your Mom's supportive ways.
how lucky you are to have a wife who cares for you!

So many good things to enjoy..yet alcohol clouds the pleasure.
I too disliked the woman I had become from drinking.

Part of AA talks about being restored to sanity ..thats
what happened to me...I now am the woman I desire to be.

Here is an interesting link for you to think about

Alcoholics Anonymous UK Newcomers

it may help you decide about AA.

Congratulations on making a wise one need live
hindered by the chains of alcohol...
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Old 12-08-2008, 08:35 AM
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bona fido dog-lover
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Location: SF Bay area, CA
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I had a short but brillian career as an alcoholic before I realized one year ago that I had a serious problem and needed to stop drinking completely. It took me from December to mid July to actually stop without constantly relapsing. It was hard to do but so worth it. I wouldn't trade my sober life for anything.

I did away with a lot of problems, both current and yet to happen, when I eliminated alcohol from my life. I am happy to go to bed sober and to wake up the same way. I'm a better person sober today and my worst day sober is way better than my best day drinking.

You CAN stop drinking for good. Take it one day at a time and you can do this!

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Old 12-08-2008, 08:36 AM
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: UK
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Welcome to the forum Gary, i could identify with alot of your story thanks.

Just to pick up on the AA thing and talking in front of strangers. The AA in Britain does seem to operate a little different from AA in the USA from what i can make out. Over here you are not called upon to talk at all, i know of people who just sit and listen, never called on to talk and have been doing that for months and years. Talking in meeting is voluntary and it's up to the person to volunteer that, you're not asked. At least that's how it is in The Midlands, i am assuming it's like that nationwide.

Feel free to PM anytime, i can certainly identify to some of the things you have said.


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Old 12-08-2008, 08:54 AM
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Helping Others, Helps Me
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Great first post.

Your story read like my "Story Night" from treatment, cept my story is different on many levels. However we do have something in common. Drinking....

Everyone takes so long to get it, and some never do. Addiction is scary stuff
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Old 12-08-2008, 09:08 PM
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Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
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Wondering how you are doing Gary...hope you
had a productive pleasant day..
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Old 12-11-2008, 11:18 AM
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thanks for all the supportive comments in reply to my post.
I certainly feel better for having shared my feelings with people who can truly understand (as opposed to try to understand).
My week has been pretty positive - I never drink during the week anyway. Friday evenings are when the cravings kick in (in fact, if I'm honest, by Thurs eve, I'm already pretty much 'planning' the usual routine for Friday). But this week I'm determined not to give in to the cravings.
Plan to go out for a meal with my wife (I never drink when eating out so no worries there) and retire quietly to bed when we get home (no stopping off for 'supplies'), rather than indulge into the early hours.
I've never felt so determined to beat this and can't wait to spend a sober Saturday with my wife and daughter, Christmas shopping.
That's my plan and I'm going to make every effort to stick to it.
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Old 12-11-2008, 12:59 PM
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Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
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Best wishes for a positive weekend...
Yes! You can!
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Old 12-12-2008, 11:13 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
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well, Friday night was rather different this week...and MUCH easier than I'd expected. Planned the evening carefully and stuck to it. Getting up at 5am (the time I'd normally be going to bed) on Saturday morning with a clear head and a focussed mind, ready to take on the world, is a more exhilarating experience than an evening/early morning on the drink for sure.
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Old 12-13-2008, 06:28 AM
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peaceful seabird
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Welcome to the SR family and

Welcome to Sober Saturday

Enjoy your day with your family!
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Old 12-13-2008, 07:07 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: massachusetts
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Hi Gary and welcome to SR. For someone who is shy and introverted, I applaud your strength in posting about your life. One thing that my sober friends have encouraged is changing your patterns in early sobriety until they no longer "trigger" the association with alcohol. At least for me, I would link times, day or activities with drinking and, without thinking, wouldn't do one without the other. I had to consciously break the bond or change the pattern. Kind of like pavlov's dog. Anyways, just a thought.

Best of luck. Keep posting your thoughts as there are awesome people here who have no other agendas other than wanting to help!
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Old 12-13-2008, 07:12 AM
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Welcome to SR. You will get alot of support here, your not alone

I was a very shy kid, I felt I was different. I was scared of alot of stuff, and I tried to come off like the tough girl.

I got married fairly young and had two children, then divorced at 26, I never drank, except for a few times in highschool experimenting. I didn't start drinking til almost 30 years and partying at first..then about 11 years ago, i stepped it to the next home, drinking by myself for about 9 years now. I drink a 1/5 at a time, and like to finish the bottle unless I pass out first. I do not drink every day, I drank pretty much every other or third day. I don't think my system could have handled a 1/5 daily, I certainly would have been dead by now I am sure.

Over the last few years I have hated my drinking. tried to control drinking, tried to quit...I couldn't do it on my own. I would wake up feeling so bad and guilty that I would say this is it..but a day later after I felt better I was back off to the liquor store..and the cycle began again.

SR is a great place to post and read. You have a ton of support here. Your not alone, we are here for you.

I personally found AA to be my savior. You do not have to talk about your life..actually the groups I go to work on solutions rather then ragging about life crap. They acknowledge problems and talk bout how to work thru them...they base most on the big book. I just started speaking here and there when i have something to say. They do not know my personal life in depth nor ask about it..I say what i want to when I want to. No pressure. That part of my life is for my sponsor if I chose to tell her that stuff in confidencel. When I do my 4th/5th step, alot will be put out there for her, but I am so looking forward to getting it out and on the table.

AA is keeping me sober. I am getting stronger and growing everyday. Between AA, my sponsor, starting to work the steps, reconnecting with my higher power, and this forum, My obsession to drink is gone. I have fleeting moments of the thoughts when I have a problem, but I change that thought to something else immediately before it takes over my mind and body.

Good luck and keep posting, glad your here.:ghug2
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Old 12-13-2008, 05:56 PM
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welcome to the family gary...

I so desperately want to regain the complete control I had over my actions.
its doable gary, its doable...

for me, keeping the drinks out was my beggining...

all good wishes to ya mate

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Old 12-15-2008, 05:55 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
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Location: England, UK
Posts: 5
Happy to report a totally sober weekend. The first of many.
It just HAS to be this way.
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Old 12-15-2008, 07:09 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
peaceful seabird
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Thanks for the update!

I am very happy for you and your family!

Pelican is offline  
Old 12-15-2008, 01:53 PM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 11
Congrats, Gary

I enjoyed your story very much mostly because it feels like we have a very similar story. I am about the same age with a young daughter as well. I am afflicted with binge drinking myself and know exactly what you mean about the weekend cravings. I'm so happy to hear that you were able to break the pattern this weekend. My 1st weekend trying to kick it will be this coming weekend. I hope your 2nd weekend and all the rest go just as well.
ControlledOne is offline  

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