Starting Over Again...
Absolute Evil
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Charlotte NC
Posts: 206
Originally Posted by CarolD 
Hmm..
that is so
that is so
I'm serious. They all have this glum, depressed, look about them.
I'm not saying everyone in AA is like that, but this bunch is. When I quit in 2000 for 3 years, I didn't go to meetings after about 2 months. The meetings broke the habit and I did the rest, on my own for 3 years.
I was happy and positive. I exercised like crazy and dropped a good bit of weight. I wasn't gloomy and depressing, sitting at meetings. I was out living.
I just wish I had never started back. That's when the gloom & depression came back.
As far as I am concerned, this place will be my "meetings".
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
TM I have never seen a meeting full of people like you describe, even new comer meetings in my area are chock full of people laughing, smiling, joking around and just talking.
What you are descibiing is exactly what I thought AA meetings were like before I went to one and found out I was dead wrong.
What you are descibiing is exactly what I thought AA meetings were like before I went to one and found out I was dead wrong.
Absolute Evil
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Charlotte NC
Posts: 206
Originally Posted by Tazman53
TM I have never seen a meeting full of people like you describe, even new comer meetings in my area are chock full of people laughing, smiling, joking around and just talking.
What you are descibiing is exactly what I thought AA meetings were like before I went to one and found out I was dead wrong.
What you are descibiing is exactly what I thought AA meetings were like before I went to one and found out I was dead wrong.
Oh well, the weekend is here. The moment of truth.
Will I or will I not drink?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bethlehem, PA.
Posts: 1,781
The Master, the overall tone of your posts sounds like you're really not ready to surrender. Way back in 1991 I ended up in a psych ward for alcoholism followed up by Intensive outpatient rehab and AA meetings.
The sad truth is that none of this helped me at the time because alcohol, drugs and partying were such a big part of my life and I could not fathom a life without these things. Everything said to me went in one ear and out the other. AA meetings seemed boring and dreary, I couldn't wait for them to be over so I could go home and have a drink.
When I was sober I was bored, restless, unsocialable, depressed and angry. I guess I never stayed sober long enough to realize that most of those things were a direct byproduct of decades of alcohol abuse.
The bottom line for me was that I had to reach a point where all the pain and problems that alcohol brought to my doorstep were so much greater than any of the pleasurable aspects that I was ready to surrender. For me it was no longer fun anymore but had morphed into a living hell that I no longer wanted any part of. I'm very greatfull that my final bottom wasn't death because that's clearly where I was headed.
Good luck on your journey but just remember that you can get off the alcoholic train at any stop along the way. You don't have to ride it to the end of the line.
The sad truth is that none of this helped me at the time because alcohol, drugs and partying were such a big part of my life and I could not fathom a life without these things. Everything said to me went in one ear and out the other. AA meetings seemed boring and dreary, I couldn't wait for them to be over so I could go home and have a drink.
When I was sober I was bored, restless, unsocialable, depressed and angry. I guess I never stayed sober long enough to realize that most of those things were a direct byproduct of decades of alcohol abuse.
The bottom line for me was that I had to reach a point where all the pain and problems that alcohol brought to my doorstep were so much greater than any of the pleasurable aspects that I was ready to surrender. For me it was no longer fun anymore but had morphed into a living hell that I no longer wanted any part of. I'm very greatfull that my final bottom wasn't death because that's clearly where I was headed.
Good luck on your journey but just remember that you can get off the alcoholic train at any stop along the way. You don't have to ride it to the end of the line.
Absolute Evil
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Charlotte NC
Posts: 206
Of course I'm not ready to surrender. I don't WANT to stop. I am diabetic and I know I HAVE to stop.
I like drinking. The problem is high blood sugar from drinking and all the junk food I eat when drinking & afterwards to help the hangover.
I like drinking. The problem is high blood sugar from drinking and all the junk food I eat when drinking & afterwards to help the hangover.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bethlehem, PA.
Posts: 1,781
That's a tough one Master because as you well know you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. You sound a lot like where I was at in the early 1990's, there was really nothing anyone could have said or done that would have helped me. Maybe someone else has some words of wisdom but I don't know if you can really help someone that doesn't want to stop.
Absolute Evil
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Charlotte NC
Posts: 206
It's ok. I'm not defying the need to stop or anything. I did it before, I think I can do it again.
The only thing I do/did was drink scotch & play Xbox 360. I didn't go out showing my ass or getting in fights or becoming abusive after drinking to anyone.
And I didn't do it every night, only on weekends.
It's just plain unhealthy for me, at this point. I have to do the same thing with high carb foods.
And it's way beyond difficult, when you were raised on fast food, greasy southern cooking, pizza, etc.
Maybe I'm at the wrong place. I don't really know, anymore.
The only thing I do/did was drink scotch & play Xbox 360. I didn't go out showing my ass or getting in fights or becoming abusive after drinking to anyone.
And I didn't do it every night, only on weekends.
It's just plain unhealthy for me, at this point. I have to do the same thing with high carb foods.
And it's way beyond difficult, when you were raised on fast food, greasy southern cooking, pizza, etc.
Maybe I'm at the wrong place. I don't really know, anymore.
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
I fell off a bike the first time I tried to ride one.
Took several tries to learn how to ride. It's harder for some folks to get this the first time out.
Keep trying, the misery only gets worse by drinking!
Took several tries to learn how to ride. It's harder for some folks to get this the first time out.
Keep trying, the misery only gets worse by drinking!
new life
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: cypress tx
Posts: 247
[QUOTE=TheMaster;2012481]
And I didn't do it every night, only on weekends.
QUOTE]
Yes can relate, I could get it all done on the weekends too!
be like Evel Knievel, get back up as many times as it takes, until you succeed!
And I didn't do it every night, only on weekends.
QUOTE]
Yes can relate, I could get it all done on the weekends too!
be like Evel Knievel, get back up as many times as it takes, until you succeed!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 413
Originally Posted by TheMaster
Actually, it's not. If these people were so happy to be free, why don't they shine, smile, and act happy?
I'm serious. They all have this glum, depressed, look about them.
I'm not saying everyone in AA is like that, but this bunch is.
I'm serious. They all have this glum, depressed, look about them.
I'm not saying everyone in AA is like that, but this bunch is.
Try the Mint Hill group. I visited that group while in Charlotte on business. I'd love to go back! They really know how to enjoy sobriety and have fun.
It meets on Wednesdays and Fridays at 8:00 at Philadelphia Presbyterian Church, 11501 Bain School Rd, Mint Hill, NC 28227.
There are other Charlotte meetings on their intergroup website [here].
Every group is different. Some absolutely suck. Others are great.
Absolute Evil
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Charlotte NC
Posts: 206
Originally Posted by Clutch B
Try the Mint Hill group. I visited that group while in Charlotte on business. I'd love to go back! They really know how to enjoy sobriety and have fun.
It meets on Wednesdays and Fridays at 8:00 at Philadelphia Presbyterian Church, 11501 Bain School Rd, Mint Hill, NC 28227.
There are other Charlotte meetings on their intergroup website [here].
Every group is different. Some absolutely suck. Others are great.
It meets on Wednesdays and Fridays at 8:00 at Philadelphia Presbyterian Church, 11501 Bain School Rd, Mint Hill, NC 28227.
There are other Charlotte meetings on their intergroup website [here].
Every group is different. Some absolutely suck. Others are great.
Well, Friday night #1 was a resounding success. I even got to watch a friend act stupid while drunk...
Pure Radio Rental
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Off course, of course.
Posts: 952
Last night I slept better than I have since I can remember. I was more productive today than I have been since I can remember. One week tomorrow without a drink..
All the times I have relapsed, for some reason this time feels different. Thanks to everyone here, I bought "Under the Influence" and refer to it often.
Not drinking is like an investment. Hang on to it. It will appreciate, as you will.
All the times I have relapsed, for some reason this time feels different. Thanks to everyone here, I bought "Under the Influence" and refer to it often.
Not drinking is like an investment. Hang on to it. It will appreciate, as you will.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 73
TM,
Hang in there. Consider yourself lucky that you have not had legal troubles. I was doing well for 2 years. Then I blacked out and ended up in jail. I had to decline a great job offer because I was afraid my pending charges would appear in the background check. Worst of all, several people have mentioned that they saw me in Slammer magazine. I am so embarrassed. I can't even interact with people because of my fear of what they might have seen in the magazine or on the Sheriff's web site. Since I am afraid to leave my place, at least I won't drink.
Cubbie
Hang in there. Consider yourself lucky that you have not had legal troubles. I was doing well for 2 years. Then I blacked out and ended up in jail. I had to decline a great job offer because I was afraid my pending charges would appear in the background check. Worst of all, several people have mentioned that they saw me in Slammer magazine. I am so embarrassed. I can't even interact with people because of my fear of what they might have seen in the magazine or on the Sheriff's web site. Since I am afraid to leave my place, at least I won't drink.
Cubbie
Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 73
TM,
Don't be so quick to dismiss AA. You just have to find the right meeting with a group of people that can you can relate to. In the past, I attended AA meetings because of legal troubles. I didn't want to go to meetings. However, after my latest incident, I am going to go with a different perspective. Meeting attendance may help me resolve my legal troubles. More importantly, meetings may help me get sober. My best friend sought AA a couple of months ago in the absence of legal troubles. He just wanted to quit drinking. My conversations with him have encouraged me to go back with an open mind. Regardless of meeting attendees' socioeconomic status or education level, most of them have at least one thing in common. That is they are unable to drink without consequences (legal, health, etc.). Before, I never spoke in meetings. Now, I want to speak. I hope that the others can help me. I also hope that I can help others.
Cubbie
Don't be so quick to dismiss AA. You just have to find the right meeting with a group of people that can you can relate to. In the past, I attended AA meetings because of legal troubles. I didn't want to go to meetings. However, after my latest incident, I am going to go with a different perspective. Meeting attendance may help me resolve my legal troubles. More importantly, meetings may help me get sober. My best friend sought AA a couple of months ago in the absence of legal troubles. He just wanted to quit drinking. My conversations with him have encouraged me to go back with an open mind. Regardless of meeting attendees' socioeconomic status or education level, most of them have at least one thing in common. That is they are unable to drink without consequences (legal, health, etc.). Before, I never spoke in meetings. Now, I want to speak. I hope that the others can help me. I also hope that I can help others.
Cubbie
Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 73
Pelican,
Could you point me to some reading on hyperglycemia and hypoglycemia? My father's side of the family has a history of diabetes. My doctor is aware of that, and I have not been diagnosed with diabetes. However, when I drink, I get really hungry and sometimes black out. I have incidents where I have tried to cook everything in the kitchen. Recently, I left a bar to get food at a late night pita place. I blacked out, and I ended up in jail. My former girlfriend told me that the reason I got so trashed when I drank was because of hyperglycemia. She told me that I should ask my doctor for a test. What are your thoughts? Thanks.
Cubbie
Could you point me to some reading on hyperglycemia and hypoglycemia? My father's side of the family has a history of diabetes. My doctor is aware of that, and I have not been diagnosed with diabetes. However, when I drink, I get really hungry and sometimes black out. I have incidents where I have tried to cook everything in the kitchen. Recently, I left a bar to get food at a late night pita place. I blacked out, and I ended up in jail. My former girlfriend told me that the reason I got so trashed when I drank was because of hyperglycemia. She told me that I should ask my doctor for a test. What are your thoughts? Thanks.
Cubbie
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 3
Cubbie, check out "Seven Weeks to Sobriety" by Joan Mathews Larson. There is a great amount of discussion about hypoglycemia and alcoholics. As well as tips for dealing with it.
There are many other books out there with the same basic information. "Under the Influence" and "Beyond the Influence" discuss it as well. Joseph Beasley has some great books as well, but they're out of print. I found my copies at the local library.
There are many other books out there with the same basic information. "Under the Influence" and "Beyond the Influence" discuss it as well. Joseph Beasley has some great books as well, but they're out of print. I found my copies at the local library.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Jasper8....Welcome to our SR Alcoholism Forum.
I did follow the recommended eating plan + supplements
in "Under The Influence" for early sobriety.
It worked quite well for me
and I too think it's a must read for anyone
interested in the disease of alcoholism.
Good to know you are staying sober ...
Well done!
I did follow the recommended eating plan + supplements
in "Under The Influence" for early sobriety.
It worked quite well for me
and I too think it's a must read for anyone
interested in the disease of alcoholism.
Good to know you are staying sober ...
Well done!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
