Kellye C

Is it just me or are there others who have felt or feel like they are invisible here? I'm sure I will get blasted for selfishness or pride, ego or some other character defect but I've also been told that if something bothers me I should voice it so that it loses some of its power over me.

I just feel invisible lately. I try to share experience, strength and hope on here whenever I can and have been doing so for over three years. I swear I have "killed" more threads than I can count. I post and then nothing. No further discussion. Nothing. My latest attempt to try to be of service was a big fat flop as well. Maybe its time for a vacation or maybe its a case of rule 62. I don't know.

So unless I kill this thread too I'd like to know if others have ever felt this way and if so did you leave for a while or what? I want to be of help to my fellow man, NOT a murderer of threads.

Hugs,
Kellye

doorknob

I don't think you're killin' any threads, Kellye.

DK

Texasblind

I read every single one of your posts Kellye. You're not invisible to me, in fact, you help.

Astro

I happen to like your threads Kellye, and I appreciate what you share on SR, but I do understand what you mean.

Every once in awhile I'll post something that I think is extra helpful or extraordinary, and then I'll feel let down when nobody responds or thanks the post.

I guess I have to check my motives then. If I thought it was so great, then that's all that matters, that it was important to me and helpful to my recovery. If someone else got something out if it that's great, but it's not what attracted me to it in the first place. I found it useful to my recovery.

Nothing personal I'm sure, OK?

Texasblind

Maybe when you post, it's the right answer. Have you thought of that? There's no need to post when the question has been answered. I thought we were supposed to keep these boards down to a minimum.

laurie6781

I have been posting on 'recovery sites' for many years now. Carol D and I go back a long long way, rofl.

I used to feel like that once in a while, and a very kind friend who is also in recovery gently reminded me to 'check my motives.' Why do I post? Is is for recognition? Or is it just to share my own ES&H when I identify with the poster?

Once I took a good look at my motives, I have not had those feelings since. And yes, many times, my post may be the last on a thread, so be it.

Some day, some where down the line, if the words I typed are meant to be heard they will, if not, I HEARD THEM when I typed them, and stayed sober for 1 more minute.

Please continue to post your ES&H, you never know who you may help by your words.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

Texasblind

I know I'm posting a lot, but don't quit Kellye. A ton of us really appreciate you. If you quit, that would be another I saw go by, I would love to make a year with a few of the same people I started with. I want so desperately to email Carol on day 1 of year 2. I want the same with you too.

AW2486

My motives and ego get in trouble with the thanks button. After every post I make I always have to go back and check how many thanks I got. And then I see others getting a ton a thanks for what I think is an inferior post LOL.. How sick is that. I was almost hoping the thanks button would not return. But now it's back.

I need to evaluate my motives here.. thanks for posting that Laurie.

Kellye ... I really enjoy your posts. I hope you keep posting.

gravity

Hmmm...

Whenever I feel "invisible" on SR, it is usually a reflection of my state of mind (eg. stressed, tired, self-focused). All other times, I feel fine .

I notice that my posts get less attention when: I post on a thread that has been going for a while; I post on a thread where there is a heated exchange happening; my post is lengthy or very specific in nature.

I think everyone on SR provides their own ESH that is more or less useful to certain people. For example, an AA member with 11 months of sobriety (me) gets a lot from a post from an AA member with 4 years of sobriety (you).

Cliche time : If you take a few minutes to share and it helps even one person, it's worth it.

Jomey

Hey Kellye - You were one of the first people who welcomed me here with your pretty pink bouquet a bit over a year ago now. Don't go! I think that when you are the final poster in a thread, it means that you've got a pretty darn good answer. You are a very important part of the family here! Love, Jomey

CarolD

When I share on here...it's like when
I speak at an AA meeting.

A quick prayer..and let my thoughts flow.

I'm sure someone will hear/see what they need
....Often it's me.

The thanks button? I rarely use it...except when
I am sharing on the "2 Weeks and under"
thread in the Newcomers Daily Support Forum.

On your reply ..before this thread...you shared on
perfectionism and perhaps that is why you feel unappreciated.
I ... just a thought. I am truly sorry you do.

Forward we go..side by side

Freedom1990

I always ready your posts, Kellye!

Yes, there have been times I've felt invisible on some forums, not on here in particular because I really haven't been here at SR that long.

For me, that's usually been when I'm lacking in 'self' and looking for responses as a sort of validation.

SugarScars

Hi, Kellye,

I can understand what you mean - sometimes it's awkward to see that no one has validated our thoughts or feelings, and that they just got "left hanging." Even so, if you are trying to help someone, you are doing the right thing. You don't need to look any further than that. I wouldn't think of yourself as a "killer of threads" or anything super-intense, because that's not going to help you or anyone else. Sometimes people feel like responding to what we say, and sometimes they don't.

Look at it this way - no response is better than a bad one, right?!

Happy Thanksgiving, dear!
SugarScars

lisa1235

hey kellye ,first i want 2 wish u a safe and wonderful thanksgiving..u are apriciated more than u know..you also helped me threw a bad point in my life..i hope ur not going anywhere 4 u would be missed by many and me too personally.u are my cyber friend and i feel ur message of strength,love,and hope..i hope this lays ur negative feelings to rest..hugsz!!!

Bamboozle

Hello, Kellye!

Please keep posting. You are an SR veteran! Your input is very valuable. :ghug

Dee74

Hey Kellye

I've been following yr posts a long time...for a while I wondered who this Kellye C was cutting in on Kelley D's action LOL

Sometimes I write something I think's brilliant (even if I say so myself LOL) and...nada. Then other times I'll make a stupid joke and it runs for pages

I've killed more threads than I can count too (closed a few too *cough* )

Yeah its nice to get a bit of positive feedback on stuff we write, recognition even.

But the thing I've learnt - getting back to what Laurie said - I figure it ain't about me at all.

I'm here to help - and whether it's insight or dumb jokes, I hope it all does.

We're all pretty anonymous, but none of us is invisible - everything we write is here in perpetuity....

keep up the good work Kellye

D

Kellye C

Thanks guys, I want to make it clear I am not going anywhere I was just wondering if perhaps I should take a break.

Those that told me to check my motives I guess you are right. Its just that I really do want to be of help and when I don't hear or see anything afterwards (I'd thread is dead) my ego assumes that I must have killed it. God, I still have so much growing up to do. Its just hard in cyberspace. When I share in a meeting I know if someone can identify with what I'm saying or not, here not so much. And that thanks button will kill me too I will admit.

Sorry for dragging you guys through my insecurities but thank you both to those who shared how I have helped them AND those who gently reminded me to "check myself". All were received gratefully.

Love to all,
Kellye

Lily

I kill threads too, and I also just don't have the patience to go back and check for thanks or I think I would. (dial up farm life......) I don't really see myself as killing the thread as much as I see it having kind of run its course.

I enjoy your sharing! Blessings, Sheila

coffeenut

Kellye, I'm sure that a lot of people feel the same way you do, so this thread is a good thing (now watch me kill it!).

It does depend on time of day....day of the week....you know, on if a thread will die a quick death.

I'm glad you're here. Sounds like a lot of people feel the same way.

Bamboozle

Hey, I've noticed that sometimes during the morning (for me, anyway...), when I click on New Posts it will only show a handful instead of several dozen (the usual, whether I've looked at all of them or not). Maybe there is a cut-off point at a certain time when it resets, or something?

I say this because I usually click on New Posts instead of going to a specific forum. This can make it easy to miss threads...some may get bumped out of the viewing if no one posted on a specific thread for a few hours.