Notices

love the person, hate the disease

Old 11-21-2008, 10:17 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 222
love the person, hate the disease

he is gone.

he abused me very specifically physically four times. i took out one incident report after the second time and after the fourth time i had him arrested. he had me arrested also. said i hit him in the head with with a plate, which i did not do. there was no plate within reach.

my charge is a felony, his is a misdeamor. he bloodied my nose. they say he showed evidence of a lump, but several weeks ago he slammed into a stop sign on his bike and there you go. my nose is still sore. he may be dead. or with another woman. i hear he has a new female drinking buddy.

so we were both arrested. i spent the night in jail. not so bad for a female as there are fewer females in jail than males. i had a quiet night of sleep then he offered to drop the charges and i refused. now we go to court dec. 15. so now we have a restraining order, no contact within one hundred yards of one another. i have changed the locks. he is unemployed. the cops brought him back to our apartment to get his stuff but all he took was two coats. i am afraid he took a swim in the ocean and is gone foreever. he is disturbed mentally, screaming at me, his mother, his sister, and busted his friends tv. he is a mess. i work full time and realized he was drinking a lot but not at eight a.m............wow.

my leasing agent consulted with her attorney and now that there is a restraining order the locks can be changed legally even though he is on the lease. so i am safe. he must be distraught, and gone..........

i am feeling forlorn at times, worried sick because he is in bad health and i am strong and healty with a good job. the DV police are checking on me frequently. i welcome their presence.

what worries me is that he lost his cell phone. i have the pass word to check his messages. i have not listened to them, but i have been able to determine that he is not checking. which makes me think he took a swim in the ocean. he is in pain from scoliosis and collapsed lungs and ready to give up. what can i do? nothing. he should at least be checking his mgs. remotely, it is easy to do.

please pray for him, more than me. he has lost so much more than me in this life. i have money, a job, and shelter. he doesn't even have a change of underwear. it's cold outside and he had a fourteen inch steel rod in his back from the scoliosis, which torments him with chills and pain. at least he says. i still have my warm bed and my loving cat, food in the fridge, electricity, heat and cash. i hope he is with this other woman, without jealousy or anger, as long as he is alive and safe and warm. after a while she will get the same abuse as i did, but for the time being, perhaps he is safe.

i wish you all the best, i know you all are struggling too, and together we can support one another.

kind regards,

shannon

Last edited by shugabooga; 11-21-2008 at 10:29 PM. Reason: misspelling, need to say more
shugabooga is offline  
Old 11-21-2008, 10:31 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
CarolD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
You really have had a lot to deal with...

Did you ever connect with that AA meeting?
That would be a good place to find support.

Blessings
CarolD is offline  
Old 11-21-2008, 10:36 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
same planet...different world
 
barb dwyer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
*prayers*
barb dwyer is offline  
Old 11-22-2008, 07:36 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 222
i'm just afraid he drowned himself in the ocean. he goes swimming even when it's cold and likes to fight the waves........God, please let him be okay. he has said he wishes sometimes it would just take him away, and if he went in with his clothes and shoes on he wouldn't stand a chance. he is very thin and has collapsed lungs. i am sick with worry.

i am working a lot and contacting friends who can help me through this.

no AA meeting can bring him back to me or tell me if he is okay. i have to ask around or else have no peace of mind. i've called two hospitals. i have to call other friends and ask around. i will call my friend kathleen whose husband is an alcoholic (recovering) and speak with her. she was very helpful yesterday.

thanks everybody.
shugabooga is offline  
Old 11-22-2008, 08:45 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
CarolD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I do understand your fear and worry.

My son....alcholic/addict was missing for 14 years.
All I could do was accept the painful situation
I turned the outcome over to God.

I stayed sober..my AA friends were extremely valuable.


I always thought of him onn a warm sunny beach.
Healthy and happy. I doubted I would ever know.

Several months ago...he contacted us...and yes from a
beach town. He has now relocated and living with my daughter.
He has a job and they enjoy each others company.

Prayers coming your way..
CarolD is offline  
Old 11-23-2008, 08:24 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 222
thank you Carol

and god bless you for the trials you've been through missing your son for fourteen years.

i have word that my boyfriend is alive but not well. he is falling apart. i cannot help him. i am so distraught. my friends are being very supportive. i feel paralyzed by fear right now.

a big part of this is my fault too because i was drinking when we fought. i should have left him alone, as he was passed out, but i tried to wake him up and that's when the trouble started.

now i have a felony charge against me and he has a misdemeanor. ain't life grand? we don't go to court until dec. 15 and i know i can hold it together until then but i'm not sure he can.

god bless everyone and good night.
shugabooga is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:25 AM.