Hollis

Apologise in advance.. I just need to sound off..

I've been sober almost 11 months given 1 relapse.. But just when with the aid of a counseller I'm telling myself its all green shoots and its all behind me, I now feel like I'm bored with it all, bored with trying to recover and carve out a new me, bored with 'looking inwards at myself and my emotions' and frankly just want to go out forget it all and have some, err, booze.

Is this common? Its almost like the process of proving I could do without it was a challenge and was in some ways fun. Now I'm feel like I want to go back to my old ways.

Suomi Poika

Sounding off is good. Unfortunately, relapse is way too common. Try not to give in.

Find a sober friend to talk to. Maybe find a doctor you can talk to.

After being sober for quite some time, several times, I'm clawing my way back to sobriety, and it ain't easy.

Please don't give in. I speak from experience. Staying sober is a lot easier than getting sober.

Toivo

Boater62

Yeah it's common and I know exactly how you feel. It has always been pretty easy for me to quit for a number of months because I made sobriety a personal challenge, like a mission. The danger zone comes afterwards when boredom and complacency sets in.

gantz

it sounds like you need to fill all your new sober time with a new goal.

you are sober now and that is great. so shoot for above and beyond sober. maybe learn a new language, or shoot for a physical goal.

After I got sober almost 2 months ago now I immediately filled the time with aiming for a goal to get my body in awesome shape. otherwise I am just like you. I get bored soooo fast.

Dee74

OK I don't know you, but maybe you need to think beyond drinking and not drinking - look at whats going on in your life - why are you bored? what are you missing? what do you want from your life? are you frustrated because it's taking too long to 'get right'?

If it's boring, I'm sorry - but it's necessary.

If you're anything like me, going back that old way of life is just not an option.
That's not because I'm particularly strong or brilliant or anything...I just know there's got to be better ways to deal with my problems than killing myself slowly with drink.

If I can't find better ways, I figure I better look harder.

D

CarolD

One thing I have never been in AA...is bored!

It's an awesome adventure in sober living
and I am sooo pleased I made the comittment.

If you have not looked into AA
please click on the link below..

Alcoholics Anonymous UK Newcomers

....Welcome to SR!

Paulos

Yeah Hollis I feel confused of why I'm actually on the wagon.

BackToSquareOne

As a rule I've found that those feelings (cravings) always pass. The most important thing is to find other activites to fill the void that sobriety creates.

Freedom1990

Imagine my horror and surprise when it finally hit me after about a year of not drinking just exactly what they meant about the alcohol only being a symptom!

Not drinking was just the beginning.

Today I don't have to be restless, irritable, and discontented.

Tazman53

So very true!!!

Bored????? The last 5 years of my drinking I spent drinking alone in my garage.... now that is what I call boring!!!!

Hollis I have found in sobriety that I have no excuse for being bored, I can do every single thing I did while drinking sober and I do it better sober!!!! I also remember what I did the next day.

Hollis what is really neat is I have found a ton of things I can do sober that I could not do while drinking.

Being sober has allowed me to do or try to do anything, when I was drinking I would think and talk about doing things, now I can at least try doing them.

Hollis

Thank you all for your messages and Paulus for the pm (need 5 posts to reply!) I'm really grateful for the support. I guess 5 months is some sort of barrier for me - its when I relapsed earlier this year.

Yeah - I guess patience and not expecting 'results' too quickly are important.. I've been putting some new things in place.. but I'm still having trouble not having any time to 'switch off' from some of the underlying issues..or 'living with me'.

I've been to my counsellor tonight.. who I think knew there was trouble brewing.. and we've talked through some things to do!

Thanks again.

coffeenut

If you are bored, it's up to you to change that. I mean that respectfully.

Being bored has nothing to do with drinking/not drinking...other than being used as an excuse to drink.

Welcome to SR.

tommyk

If you were a sponsee I'd ask you to face reality and understand that when a relapse occurs sobriety ENDS (as opposed to some length of sobriety with 1 relapse included).

I'm fairly 'hardcore' when it comes to facing reality. I believe that few people (if any) can accomplish long term sobriety without facing reality. The disease is powerful, and the disease will play many (MANY) tricks to distort one's thinking. It has been my experience that once the 'thinking distortion' begins, very little rational thought follows. I've heard people explain their sobriety time with "1 minor, small, tiny relapse that didn't count" included. This almost always means it is okay to have another "minor, small, tiny" relapse that won't count either.

My own ESH:

First - recognize exactly how much sobriety time you have.
Second - understand why you relapsed when you DID.
Third - understand how clever the disease was in tricking you into the relapse.
Fourth - never forget WHY you chose sobriety as a way of life.

I sincerely hope this helps. Please take what you want and leave the rest.

Lenina

Very good advice here, especially from tommyk.

Sobriety isn't just the absence of alcohol. It does take some time to adjust to a clear head and feeling all the emotions. Plus, in my case, I no longer knew what to do with myself for fun once I quit drinking. I had to find new things to do.

There is true joy to be had sober! I find I laugh a lot more, enjoy doing simple things, like a good crossword puzzle or reading a good book. i try to make time for lunches or other activities with sober friends. Even having a nice walk and taking the time to notice the flowers, the wildlife and just seeing the sky helps.

Don't give up! The best is yet to be!

Love,

Lenina

LosingmyMisery

No, not hacked off with being straight. I'm very grateful for finding sobriety. I'm not bored, I'm not miserable and I've found peace. I guess when you are close to death from drink, finding sobriety comes as a blessing. I can't even imagine going back to those days of drinking or being angry for not being able to drink. Drinking was killing me physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Again, I'm grateful for being sober. I guess once we put things in perspective our priorities shift.

Stubborn1

So if you want to get a high feeling and torture yourself, go job a few times around the block, you'll be wore out, still sober and have a rush that your body gave you.
Alot of alcoholics go back to drinking because they are "bored". Alot of co-dependants go back with alcoholics because they miss the "excitement" of the chaos.
Find a hobby, one that consumes you. Pick up a new language, rent a Harley for the day and go cruisen. Just some thoughts. Stay busy.

Hollis

Yes.. I relate to that. My brain has been well attuned to 'route one hedonism' the last 6-7 years in particular.. and 'fun' for alot of my mates is to a large extent focussed on 'getting out of it' at the weekends'..

Without that buzz my brain's at abit of a loss.

Also, I expect like loads of others here.. I used alcohol to put a blanket on underlying issues- such as underlying dissatisfaction which is causing the boredom etc.

Again thanks for your messages..

353

Fourth - never forget WHY you chose sobriety as a way of life.

Welcome to the forum Hollis,

Early in my sobriety somebody told me to write down on a piece of paper how I felt the day I'd walked into the rooms of AA. To also write down exactly why I wanted to be sober, fold the paper up, put it in my pocket and when I felt the urge, pull it out and read it.

Something about writing it down and carrying it with me, helped me. You see, it's not that I'm a slow learner, I'm just a fast forgetter. When my mind thinks of drinking I only think of the ease and comfort that comes from the first drink. I completely forget the fact that I can't stop (over some period of time). I don't remember the pain of wrecked relationships, estrangement from loved ones, totaled vehicles, jail time and the endless list of regrets. I don't take that first drink in eager anticipation of staring at the walls at 5 in the morning, high on crack and wishing I could come down enough to drive home. My mind tells me that this time it will be different, somehow, someway, I'm going to stop for a couple and be OK. I can't live in that insanity any longer.

If I was allergic to strawberries, would my mind tell me that this time I just get the strawberries from a different store and I'll be OK. Or maybe the problem is just fresh strawberries, perhaps if I bake them in a pie I'll be OK. If eating strawberries would cause as much damage to me and my life as drinking...I wouldn't eat strawberries.

But alcohol, strawberries just don't baffle me as much as alcohol.

Stay sober, get help, get well, don't give up!!!

God's Peace